ReEducation
by Riza Winters
Summary: What will it take for Juha Bach to Reeducate Ichigo and make him one of his own? And has he already done the same to Grimmjow? When the two meet in Bach's reeducation centre, everything between them changes. Each damaged, they learn they can only survive together. (So I'm going to try my hand at a Grimmjow/Ichigo romance for the first time!)
1. Chapter 1

Bare feet padded down the damp corridor. Walls dripped from water that should never have touched them. Puddles formed in the uneven surfaces of hard concrete and not a soldiers was left between them and their destination.

"Your water canon really did a number on them." Grimmjow grunted to Halibel, as he pushed his aching body forward. "But I don't understand why Pantera was not with your zanpakuto."

He was weaponless, shirtless and drained from torture from the Vandenreich, but with her at his side, he knew the last of the espada would not be defeated.

"We'll find Pantera once we're out of this shit hole and healed."

He glanced at her. He hated the thought of leaving half of his soul behind, but if she said she would do something, she would keep to her word.

"Fine." They heard a noise, and pressed up against a door. "What was that?" He was looking farther down the corridor but she was focused on the door at his back. "What is it?"

"Go in."

He turned slowly and grasped the handle. It turned. They moved silently into the chamber. Grimmjow had been in many since his capture but none like this. If he had been from earth, he might have been reminded of old science fiction novels featuring Tesla coils and Halloweenish vapours rising from machines and bubbling vials. And hooked up in the centre of it all, was a mostly naked boy, strapped into a heavy chair. Tubes led into his veins, sticky pads monitored heart and breathing, something was strapped around his head and beeping intermittently. Oxygen pumped into his nostrils through clear tubes.

Grimmjow stood a long time staring at the orange haired teen he'd once fought. Brown eyes were open, his head lolled to the side, but Ichigo stared straight back at him, pain vividly etched in his features. Nothing in him seemed capable of speaking but everything he wanted to say was in those eyes.

"What should we do?" Grimmjow took a step back from his enemy and looked to Halibel.

"Our enemy is the Vandenreich now. Kurosaki could help us, and besides," she turned to the teen who's eyes never left Grimmjow, "he's just a child, and look what they're doing to him."

"I guess."

"Grimmjow, if he'd found you like this, do you really think he'd just keep walking?"

"Probably not. Fine."

"I'll watch the door, you get him."

He moved forward, looking over all the machines, trying to figure out how to shut things off, but it seemed easiest just to start pulling needles and cathodes from skin.

A noise escaped the teen when he removed an IV of some purplish liquid. He could sense the spiritual properties to all these machines and substances. They were trying to infuse his body with something, maybe their own powers. Whatever it was, it was almost killing the teen and the agony in his eyes was unmistakable. When Grimmjow pulled the last sticky pad from his chest and moved to unhook the oxygen he was shocked to see a tear roll from one eye. For a moment he simply beheld the sight of his enemy so wasted by what had been done to him, so weak and helpless and in so much pain.

And it gave him no pleasure.

All he could see was what Halibel had said, a boy being treated so cruelly. He couldn't find one trace of that arrogance he had hated in Ichigo all that time ago. It had been washed from them both in their _reeducation_.

"Fuck." He swore when he undid the straps and found wrists and ankles chaffed to bleeding. The kid had fought this as hard as he could until his body just gave up. Though his own body was in no great shape, he eased Ichigo forward against him and lifted him up, surprised to find his burden so light.

"I've got him." Grimmjow announced turning back to the door.

"Good. I know he was your enemy, Grimmjow, but we're going to need him before the end. He might be the only one who can defeat these bastards."

Grimmjow hated to agree, but he had been suffering under their power for longer than he wanted to admit. "Yeah, well, assuming he snaps out of it again."

She glanced at the boy in his arms, a reprimanding look in her eyes at his callousness. "Swear to me you'll protect him, Grimmjow."

"Halibel, what's gotten into you?"

"Just don't abandon him, Grimmjow."

"I won't."

"Good. Then stay behind me." He nodded. The two of them had been together in this place for a long time, and before that, it had just been them who had survived Aizen's war. He had his pride, but he also knew she was strong and honourable, and he had learned to respect her. So he did just what she said, and kept the boy close against him and followed her from the room.

They weaved down many halls, he had no idea how she knew where she was going, but he followed her with confidence. From time to time she abruptly changed their direction and he would hear soldiers running nearby. There were shouts, he guessed they had discovered Ichigo was gone.

"Grimm..j-jow?" He barely heard the voice against his shoulder but he shifted his grip around Ichigo and looked down on him. Blood dribbled from one nostril, that couldn't be good.

"Shh." He warned the teen. They were currently crouched in a narrow space, waiting for Halibel to give the go ahead. "We're escaping." He added, hoping it would be enough to keep him quiet.

He felt Ichigo's head sag back against him. His spiritual pressure was all over the place, wavering weakly, but shifting from pure soul reaper, to dark as his own hollow powers and then to something else, something disturbingly close to quincy. He regarded the pale teen again, trying to see with his eyes what his spiritual sense were telling him. But there was nothing on his shuddering form that could tell him if he had indeed been turned quincy. "Just tell me they haven't reeducated you yet."

He didn't get an answer, but if Ichigo woke up and started fighting on behalf of the Vandenreich, that would be a serious problem.

"Grimmjow." Halibel warned. He stood and they moved as fast as they could through the facility. Lights wavered, shouts and spiritual pressures increased all around them. They were getting closed in. They ran with everything they had but when they rounded the next corner they were met with a wall of stone faces. Halibel raised her sword, but a voice at their back made them freeze.

"I am impressed." Grimmjow turned slowly to face the King. "You made it much farther than you should have been able."

"Fuck you." Juha took a step forward and looked him up and down, eyes coming to rest on Ichigo.

"I thought he was your enemy."

"Enemy of your enemy and all." Grimmjow kept his voice steady, not betraying his real fear. It had been Hell before, but he was sure they would come up with new ways to make him suffer after his attempted escape.

"He's not my enemy, Grimmjow, he's my ally. As soon as his reeducation is complete, he'll be at my side until the day he dies."

"He's barely alive. What the Hell was all that?"

"Don't you remember, Grimmjow?" "What?"

"Your own reeducation." the espada tensed and looked back at Halibel. "Hmm, how interesting."

"What the Hell are you talking about? I've never been in that room before today. Neither of us have."

"I must say, you were more resistant than any other. That is why the process was less than successful. Hence why you remain in my care."

"You're insane."

"No, Grimmjow, I'm not the one who's lost my mind." "Fuck this. Halibel, I'm not letting him take me back. Let's fight."

"No, Grimmjow, we can't win. It will only be worse." He looked to her hard. "What?"

"I asked you to protect Ichigo. You can't do that if they rip you apart right here."

"Then what, we just go back with them?" He glanced around, all the soldiers were staring at him. The King watched him as if amused. "No way."

But before he could ever make a move, the King was on him, sword to his throat. "Enough. Let's go back."

"You bastard." He hiked Ichigo closer despite the blade at his throat.

"It's alright, Grimmjow. Ichigo's body does need a break, you can hold onto him for a bit. It might even be helpful if he gets to talk to you."

Grimmjow narrowed his eyes suspiciously but was shoved forward from behind and he could hear Halibel being disarmed. They had been defeated so easily. But with the promise of getting to assess just how much the Vandenreich had reeducated the teen, he followed after them. Because if they had any chance of ending this, it was with Ichigo's help.

* * *

Groggy eyes parted to grey walls. Grimmjow was alerted to Ichigo coming around by a low moan of pain.

"Kurosaki?" he moved closer to the teen next to Halibel who had been watching him closely since the three of them had been put in the cell together. They had discussed why the King would chose to put them together like this, but they did not determine an answer. Maybe Ichigo would shed some light on the situation.

"Hey kid, wake up." Grimmjow gave him a shake.

"Just give him a second." Halibel warned, but brown eyes found them. "Help him sit up." Grimmjow did, pulling the boy into a sitting position and letting him lean back against the wall. He swallowed several times as if trying not to puke. His eyes shut, no doubt as nausea or dizziness assaulted him.

"What's going on...?" Ichigo asked, never opening his eyes.

"We were caught again." Halibel supplied. This only got another swallow of pain.

"The King put us in this cell together." Grimmjow added.

"I didn't...know you were here..."

"Neither did we." He answered back.

"You tried to help me..."

"Yeah, well, we couldn't just leave you like that." This got brown eyes to open. He looked hard at Grimmjow. "It was Halibel who insisted." Grimmjow defended himself to make sure the teen didn't think he'd suddenly developed a sense of compassion. Hazed eyes shifted over his shoulder to regard the female espada. He frowned and shut his eyes again.

"It's alright." Halibel intoned behind her mask. "We have decided our best chances are to work together."

"Are you still...you?" Grimmjow asked him.

"I...don't know anymore."

"What does that mean?"

The door clanked open behind them. Halibel stood on the defensive while Grimmjow remained crouched next to Ichigo. The King stared down at the two men with a sickening smile.

"It means he's seen what I've done to you, and now he knows he can't be sure the same hasn't happened to him."

"What the Hell are you talking about?" But the King pushed past him to reclaim Ichigo. "Kuroskai." Grimmjow stood now too, the King was all that was holding the teen up but he opened his eyes again.

"Look at him, Ichigo." The King whispered in his ear. "He doesn't have any idea what's happened to him."

"What are you talking about?" Grimmjow screamed.

"If I told you, I think you would lose it altogether, Grimmjow. But you have helped Ichigo understand the hopelessness of his situation."

"No." Ichigo breathed against him. "You won't win.."

"I already have, Ichigo. It's just a matter of time. Now, shall we continue?" He began to drag him back out he door, the teen struggled as much as he could. "Stop!" Grimmjow commanded.

"He's just a child." Halibel spoke next to him. "He will not survive more of your _reeducation._"

But the King showed no hesitancy, he just smiled deeper. "You will be served your punishment for your earlier actions, enjoy."

The door slammed shut, the last thing Grimmjow saw was the spark of raw terror in a boy who had once cut him down and brought Aizen to his knees.

"Dammit." He turned to his ally. "What was all of that about? What did the King mean?"

"Grimmjow." She took his hand and held it before him,, showing hims skin chafed by chains. "We've been here for a long time." He looked down at the scars all over him, his body no where near as strong as it once had been.

"I guess you're right." He said back. It would be a shock to Ichigo to see what his former enemy had been reduced to after so long. And he would have to realize he too was just as wasted. It made sense.

But he couldn't help but worry that there was more to it than that.

* * *

**This was inspired by today's manga and I have impulsively decided to publish it right away! Oh well, let's see where it goes if you're interested!**

**Riza.**


	2. Chapter 2

"How did he get like that?" Ichigo asked as he was hooked back into his chair. He'd been asleep for a long time after his encounter with the espada, but now the King had deemed him ready to continue.

"How do you think?" He pushed a needle under Ichigo's restrained arm. "I captured the Third and the Sixth espada five months ago."

"Five months?" Ichigo strained out. Then alarm hit him and he looked the King straight on. "How long have I been here?"

"Not that long, don't worry."

"But how long?"

"Six weeks."

There was no lie in those eyes. Ichigo had gotten used to reading them. But he couldn't reconcile his words with the truth. He would have said he'd only been here a little over a week.

"It can't be."

Juha put a hand on his head, it was a strange gesture he did on occasion, his face hard and no sympathy in him and yet neither was there mocking or a falseness to his soft words. Ichigo couldn't understand this man's motives, nor his obsession with the teen. "This process is very strenuous on your body, it has affected you." "Like him. You want me to give up, that's why you took me to that cell."

"No, Ichigo, I just wanted you to realize that there is no more point in fighting. You are changing, despite all your efforts to stop it. And resistance can have undesirable consequences. I learned my mistake with them. I won't do the same to you."

"Why do you want me on your side so badly?"

"You don't know?"

"It can't be true...about my mother."

The hand in his hair slid to his face. "I see her in you. That's why I want you to let this happen. If I damaged her son-"

"Stop." He jerked his head to the side to escape the touch. "Just get on with it."

"As you wish." The last instruments were put in place. Juha moved back to the machine that controlled the whole setup. "You will see things my way, when it's over."

Ichigo didn't respond. Machines hummed to life, liquid pumped through a tube and hit his veins.

He screamed.

* * *

All restraint in him failed when the electric rod that had been running down his back pressed into his hollow hole. He let out a scream of such pain it nearly matched the one he'd heard a short while ago from where he guessed Ichigo was being held. His torturer didn't relent. He ran the rod around the circumference of his hollow space continuously. The power of its shocks were enough to kill a lesser being and ran through the core of his body. Everything went rigid, the chains that held his arms directly above his head were rattling but no longer from his efforts to escape; he convulsed beyond his control.

"STOP!" Halibel yelled on his behalf, chained up facing him, as was the way they were always tortured: together. They didn't just have to endure the pain inflicted on themselves, but they had to watch each other suffer too. "You're killing him!"

Grimmjow indeed thought he was going to die before the man finally pulled his rod out. The quincy was breathing hard as he stared on Grimmjow's heaving form, sweat glistening all over, muscles trembling in pain. He turned the power of the rod off, but it trailed over his exposed form, running along thin hips at the boarder of his pants. Grimmjow was too weakened to tell the sicko to piss off, but he jolted when the rod suddenly dipped under the torn black sash at the hem of his pants and rested against the crease between thigh and hip.

"FUCK!" he screamed again when the electric shock ripped through his sensitive flesh. He caught flashes of the man's sick smile as he choked on pain and the room started to become over bright.

"YOU BASTARD!" Halibel screamed. The pain receded. Grimmjow blinked hard, finding the air thin, but his head fell to the side and he saw their torturer had turned his back on him and looked to her instead.

Grimmjow was vaguely aware of his blood coating the rod that now traced over her tan flesh, tauntingly. The bastard had burned him to the point of bleeding. But he forgot his own pain when the rod was shoved past her pants and through her own hollow space that rested just above her pelvis. There was no mistaking his pleasure from watching her writhe before him. She was too strong to scream, three ranks above Grimmjow, he had learned that despite his pride, she could endure much more than himself.

He eventually found his voice and called after the quincy to halt. The man did, only after she looked near fainting, and dropped the rod to the ground. Instead, he looked to her with unadulterated lust.

"Don't touch her!" Grimmjow screamed when he realized his intentions. She was struggling to stay conscious, curses dropped no more than whispers from her lips when hands began to undo her sash.

"STOP!" Grimmjow demanded in vain. "HALIBEL!"

She jolted when he gripped her tight and jerked forward. Green eyes shot to Grimmjow, not in pleading, but in pain that was worse than anything else they'd experienced. This was a violation of everything she was, a woman, a warrior, a queen. She watched him the whole time, green on blue, and he couldn't look away from her, couldn't abandon her in this most horrible moment. Pants and grunts filled the room but never from her. She grit her teeth behind her mask and stared only at the Sixth. She only cried out when she was jerked harder in her chains, his fingers clenching over her hips and a long moan dragged from his lips. He rested his head on her chest for a moment, before withdrawing. Only when he turned around, redoing his pants, did Grimmjow break eye contact from his companion.

"I swear," his voice was shaking, in fact, his entire body was trembling after what he'd witnessed, "I will kill you in the worst way possible."

He smiled at them, moving to the door. "I will come back to clean you up, and take you back to your cell." And he glanced to Halibel. "I hope it was as good for you as it was for me."

The door shut. She was left hanging and exposed before him. Grimmjow watched those fierce eyes shut, her blonde head bow.

* * *

"How long was it this time?" Ichigo croaked. He struggled to roll to his side, tubes pulled taught but he felt like he could breathe better like this. He was used to it now, waking to find Juha there after another terrible session in the chair. The man watched him take ragged breaths, thin shoulders poked past the blanket that covered him.

"A week. You were in the chair for four days, you've been resting since then. Your body is struggling with the change."

"Then stop." It wasn't begging, or pleading but a request, from one man to another. Juha did not look at him patronizingly, and he didn't smile.

"No. You will be mine soon."

"How much more?"

"It's hard to tell. I will let you rest a while longer before we continue. Please try to sleep." He rose.

Ichigo didn't intend to listen, but before the door even shut on his room, exhausted eyes shut.

* * *

Grimmjow dragged himself from the cell floor when the obscene noises ended. The quincy had beaten him badly when he'd tried to interfere, and he had only come to now as he heard her shudder and wince and the man stood.

He'd come every day since their last torture session. He wasn't supposed to, that much was clear by the way he sneaked in at odd hours, cleaned off the evidence as much as he could and slunk out of the cell without a noise. They didn't even know his name, he was just one of the quincy soldiers who'd tortured them over the months.

Grimmjow couldn't stand, pain lanced through most of him, but he got to her side and pulled up her pants.

"Until next time." The man said at the door.

Grimmjow let out an animalistic scream as the door shut on them and he pulled her against him. Even though it went against everything they had known as espada-they were hard, they were selfish, they were unsympathetic- he didn't even think about it when he pulled her up into his lap, hugged her against him and tucked her head under his chin. She was trembling all over, he felt the warmth of her blood run down onto his own legs.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered into her grimy blonde locks. She just shook worse, he could tell everything in her was fighting it. "It's okay." He whispered.

She sobbed against him.

* * *

"Grimmjow?"

The espada lifted his head from where it rested atop hers. They'd fallen asleep like that, she remained unconscious when he looked up at Ichigo. The teen was pale as a ghost, shock all over his face. Grimmjow gripped Halibel tighter in reaction.

"They..."

"Raped her." He growled.

Ichigo swallowed and knelt before them. "Oh my word..." he was looking at the blood, the bruises on her torso.

"Don't wake her up." Grimmjow warned, "She needs to rest."

"_This_ is how he's been torturing you?"

"Halibel is strong but this..." he didn't need to say it. Ichigo watched him, such sympathy in his eyes it actually stirred an old rage in Grimmjow. "We're not as pathetic as we look."

"I never thought that, Grimmjow."

"What the Hell are you doing here anyway?"

"The King gave me a break because my body was so exhausted." He looked to the door as if expecting it to open at any second. "But I have to start again today. I asked if I could see you."

"Why?"

"I don't know." He sat back on the cell floor now, looping his hands over his knees. "I'm just...afraid of losing myself. And you're the only one here I know."

"We're enemies."

"You were rescuing me."

"I tried to kill you three times."

"Grimmjow."

"What?"

"If there is a way to escape, I promise I'll come for you."

He watched him carefully past her limp head. "Everything is different now." Was his response.

"Does that mean you'll agree to the same?"

He nodded into her. "She made me promise to protect you."

"Why?"

"Because she said you could help us but also...she just looks at you and sees a kid. Maybe it's because she's a woman, I don't know, but the moment she saw you in that chair I knew she couldn't abandon you."

"Well, then I'm thankful to her. But what do you see when you look at me, Grimmjow?"

"You mean do I still want to kill you?"

"Yeah."

He shook his head and then looked back to Halibel. "Ever since the Vandenreich came, I've met a whole lot of people I want to kill more than I ever wanted to kill you."

Ichigo watched him closely. "Grimmjow, then can we be allies?"

"I'm not sure I'd go that far." But he saw something in brown eyes that made him reconsider. Ichigo needed this. He needed to know he wasn't alone in his hell. The espada had seen how agonized he'd been in that chair, and now he faced going back to that. And anything he could do to help Ichigo, would be a blow to the people who had done this to him and Halibel.

"Okay." He said after the pause. "We're allies."

"Good." Ichigo couldn't muster a smile, but there was some form of relief in him.

"Kurosaki, what is the King doing to you? Are you a quincy?"

The teen rubbed a hand over his face. "He says my mother was. I...he knew her. I think he might have l-loved her." The thought disturbed him deeply. "He says things that bother me. I try not to think about it."

"But he treats you different than us. It's why he let you see me when you asked."

"Right."

"Is he succeeding? Do you feel different?"

"I-"

But the door opened and Grimmjow stiffened seeing the quincy who'd been visiting every day. The man stopped short, seeing Ichigo.

"Does the King want me back?" Ichigo rose, but caught the look between the other two men. "It's you. You came here to..."

He got confirmation from the look on Grimmjow's face and his instinct to protect flared in him, he made to swing but was slowed from his condition, his fist was easily caught and the man flipped him around, hooking an elbow under his chin and holding him tight.

"Let him go!" Grimmjow warned. He very carefully eased Halibel down and rose, still very stiff and sore from the beating.

"What the fuck is this brat doing in here?" the man screamed, knowing he was caught, and could not do anything to Ichigo.

"The King let him come." Grimmjow said dangerously. The man looked at the door as if Juha Bach would suddenly appear.

"Fuck." He looked at the teen in his grasp. "Shit."

"You better run while you can."

"Like the King cares who I fuck."

"He cares that you went behind his back." Ichigo strained. "And I've started to get to know him pretty well. I don't think he'll approve of what you did."

"SHUT UP!" Grimmjow maintained his stance, but waited to see what the man would do. He was vibrating at Ichigo's back, knowing the precariousness of his situation. Then he stiffened and a smile overtook his fearful face.

"What?" Grimmjow asked but his grip on Ichigo tightened and he threw the teen face first into the wall. Ichigo rebounded, clutching his nose that spewed blood but another strike had him hit the ground, unconscious.

"What the hell?" Grimmjow asked, but he was struck just as hard and fast, falling back into the wall. He tried to stand but but a knee to his gut kept him down.

"What is going on?" Bach's voice boomed through their cell.

"The prisoner attacked the boy."

"What?"

"I heard him cry out for help."

A hand fisted in Grimmjow's hair and Bach pulled him back to his knees. "You really have lost it. You know he's important to me."

There was no chance to defend himself, to tell the truth of the situation. Searing pain ripped through his skull and spine and he dropped on the cell floor writhing. The King pulled Ichigo up against him but looked to his soldier. "Make sure he pays dearly for this."

He left. The torturer smiled down on his prey.

* * *

_**Well, I hesitated to update this one because of how M-rated the content has become. I hope it doesn't offend you, but it's where I found this story going, and it's not without purpose for what happens later in the story.**_

_**Riza.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Cartilage was snapped back into place and the boy on the table lurched up, coming awake violently. His hand was caught before he could grab at his face.

"It's okay." the King stood before him. "We were just resetting it." The quincy in charge of medicine- Ichigo just called him the doctor- backed up and let the King move closer. "What the Hell happened?"

"What?" Ichigo was still trying to regain his senses but he remembered the horrible truth he'd discovered in the cell and then the quincy shoving him into a wall.

"I mean why in the Hell did the espada attack you?" The King clarified.

"No, that's not what happened. That man did." The King's eyes narrowed and when Ichigo told him the whole truth he stood.

"Take care of the boy," He instructed the doctor, "I have some business to attend to."

* * *

"Halibel, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I couldn't stop him. I can never stop him." Grimmjow shut his eyes and pressed his face into the back of her shoulder. They lay side by side, his arms around her. Neither could move more than that. The quincy had made good use of his rod. Burns ran all up and down Grimmjow, cuts, bruises, he was sure his hip had popped out of place from a blow. But of course the disgusting creature couldn't stop there. Halibel had barely woken up before he'd gone for her. Then he'd made his run for it. He knew Ichigo would spill the beans. So he'd gotten his last thrill and he'd still gotten away with his life.

"Grimmjow, you can't give up." Her voice was faint, but echoed back behind her mask.

"I'm not. I'll get you out of here."

"That's what you always say. You'll save me. But what if I wasn't here. What if I-"

"You're stronger than me. That won't happen."

"You never know. If I did die, would you fight as hard to save yourself?"

He knew what he would have said in the days of Aizen. He would have fought harder to save himself than anyone. But now it was different. He wasn't sure he wanted to be alone again. He sighed into her.

"Grimmjow?"

"I don't know."

"You have to! If we stand any chance of getting out of this, you have to want to live."

"I do."

"You sound less than convincing."

"Well, it's sort of hard when we're laying here like this." She didn't respond. "Sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

"Fine."

The door clanked open, they both tensed, Grimmjow holding his arms protectively around her battered form.

"It's true." the King moved around and crouched before them, eyes wandering the marks on her body. "Well then, I am sorry."

"Fuck you." Grimmjow spat at him. He saw it in his eyes, that look he loathed so deeply. Condescension. "I hate you."

"I'm sure you do." the King watched him closely. "Grimmjow, what _do _you remember?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm worried about how much more Ichigo can take."

"Then stop torturing him."

"It isn't about torture. Pain is a side effect to the process. I need him on my side."

"Why?"

"That is between us. But perhaps you can help me."

"We'll never join you." Halibel tensed in his arms.

"Grimmjow?"

"There's nothing you can do to me to make me side with you."

Dark eyes narrowed. "Regardless of your opinion, I think a change of tactics is in order. Ichigo needs help getting through this, and for some reason he seeks it from you two."

"What are you going to do?" Halibel asked as he rose.

"Once again, I apologize for what my subordinate did. Maybe this will make up for it." He left them with the cryptic words and after a moment of discussion with the guards, they entered.

"Don't you fucking touch us." Grimmjow warned them. The soldiers paused at the hostility and one of them raised his hands. Blue light washed out and they went limp on the floor.

* * *

"How long has he been like this?"

"An hour." the doctor was holding his patient sideways on the table as he convulsed again. A mix of bile and blood came out of Ichigo's throat.

"Why?" was the King's only word.

"His body is completely rejecting the treatments. It's trying to flush his system."

"Why now?"

"He's been fighting it even when he passes out. His inner connection with his zanpakuto is too strong."

"His zanpakuto was cut in half."

"It apparently makes their connection no less strong."

Ichigo spewed again. He choked on a cough that sounded more like a sob.

"Can you heal him?"

"I don't know." The energy in the room turned dark. The doctor's grip on his patient tightened in fear. "Sir, please, I'm doing what I can."

"You better. Your life is tied to his. If he dies, so do you."

"Y-yes sir."

The King backed off, but he didn't leave the ward. He moved from one patient to another. One door down, he barely recognized the man that had emerged when months of filth had been washed from him. Blue eyes pierced him the moment he stepped through the door.

"Where is Halibel?"

The King watched him carefully where he lay in the bed. Only one wrist was strapped to the rail, the other in a cast. Blankets covered the damage to his lower half but he lay to one side as if in much pain and several bandages covered wounds on his torso.

"I asked you a question."

The king glanced at the wall next to the single bed in the room. "Halibel is getting treatment as well."

"I want to see her."

"You can trust me."

"Bullshit."

"You don't like to be separated from her, do you?"

Grimmjow didn't answer. He wasn't about to start playing into this man's mind games. His head did roll to the side however, to the larger operating room he had been in not long ago. "Kurosaki is in there, isn't he?"

"Yes. He is struggling."

"Why did you bring me here?"

"You already know."

"I won't help you turn him."

"We'll see. If he survives this."

"You're a cold bastard."

"And you aren't?"

Grimmjow shrugged. "I don't pretend to be anything but. The kid seems to be confused about your intentions towards him."

"What did he say?"

"That's between us. I'm asking you. Why is he so important to you?"

"His mother and I were close long ago. I want him at my side."

Blue eyes narrowed but he said nothing more.

"I hope you feel better soon, Grimmjow. Because I think Ichigo is going to need you."

He left the room. Grimmjow turned back to the other wall, feeling out for Halibel. There. She was safe. And for the moment, it seemed he was too. Whatever the King's motives, he would have to take advantage of this while he could.

Then they would make their escape.

* * *

"Grimmjow?" the sixth's eyes parted groggily. He made out the form in his doorway.

"Kurosaki? How did you get here?"

"The door." the teen was leaning heavily on the knob, his attempt at sarcasm lost to the pain in his voice. He lurched from the door to the foot of his bed, a fit of coughing over took him and Grimmjow thought he would collapse.

"You look like Hell." Grimmjow sat up but was still chained to the bed. He couldn't help the teen but made room for him to half collapse on the mattress. "Kurosaki?"

"I'm alright." He wheezed, managing to sit.

"Then get me the fuck out of this." He jolted his chain.

"I can't."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean there's a guard right outside this door."

"They let you in here?"

He nodded.

"Why?"

"Because I asked."

"Why?"

He dropped his eyes from the other. "I thought we'd been through this already."

"Yeah, I guess." Grimmjow's eyes strained through the dark to see the guard hovering. Damn. There was no way Ichigo could undo his cuff without them being caught in the act.

"Grimmjow, he said if you don't fight, he'll let you stay in the facility."

"This is the facility and I don't want to stay in it."

"No I mean...I guess they called it the centre."

"The what?"

"The reeducation centre, where I am."

"Ichigo, are you inviting me to be brain fucked with you?"

The teen actually smiled around his obvious pain. He sat on the bed, but he held himself awkwardly, like everything inside of him was inflamed and hurting.

"It's not a prison cell like where you were."

"It's all a prison, kid."

"You wouldn't be hurt anymore."

"I'm surviving."

"I wouldn't be alone all the time."

"This sounds like you're giving up."

"I'm not. I'm just...never mind. Do what you want."

"Kurosaki, you're losing yourself."

"What?"

"You said that's what you were afraid of, well it's happening. You're older, I see it in your face, your body, but you're not the man I fought back then. He wouldn't be coming in here asking me to hold his hand while we accept our fates. He'd be tearing down these walls to get out."

He expected to be met with fire, with shouts, and anger. But instead, brown eyes met him honestly. "You're right." Ichigo pulled his knees up to his face, a pained groan escaped him from the action but he dropped his head into his knees. "But that man never felt the pain that I have. He never knew it was even possible to...to be in so much pain you want to die."

Grimmjow watched him shake. He didn't cry, he just sat there in the terrible truth that was his reality. All he had to face was pain with no escape. Grimmjow could feel his tumultuous spirit, and despite its strength, he guessed Ichigo could no longer wield that power while it was so out of balance. And he himself was in so much pain from his last torture session he couldn't even walk.

"Screw it."

"What?" Ichigo muttered past his knees.

"I guess it can't be any worse than before." He thought particularly of Halibel and shut his eyes at the vivid memories of the noise, the sight, the smell. "She goes with us, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"Fine."

"Thank you, Grimmjow."

"Don't thank me yet. You haven't lived with me." Again, a smirk was drawn from the teen. He slid from the bed but it took the guard's help to get him back where he was going. Grimmjow played their conversation over repeatedly, considering the advantages and disadvantages to going to the centre. Still, in all this time he hadn't managed to escape from here, so he would have to take his chances and hope with Halibel's help, they'd find their freedom.

* * *

"You shouldn't have moved around so much." Bach sat in the chair next to his bed, reading a chart.

"But he agreed to come." Ichigo answered.

This got the King to look up at him. "He did?"

"Yes."

"I'm surprised, but glad. His condition was not improving under my previous methods-"

"You mean rape and torture?"

"I mean perhaps I can still get something from all the time I put in the espada. They wasted far more of my resources than I intended and I hate not to get a return on my investment."

"I didn't ask him to come with me so you could brainwash him too. I did it because you said you'd stop torturing them." "And because you desperately need someone to trust in."

"What?"

"You have been abandoned, Ichigo. I've had you for two months now and not a single soul reaper has attempted to get you back."

"It would be suicide."

"Certainly. But everything in you still believes that those closest to you would still try, even if they would die. Isshin Kurosaki, for example."

"Shut up!"

"And you have to face unimaginable pain day after day. Of course you want a friendly face."

"Grimmjow's not exactly a friend."

"He's as good as, in this place. You know no one else here, not even Halibel. And you've seen the difference in him, what we've done to him. You believe he's changed and so you can help him as much as he can help you."

"If this is what you think, then why did you get me to invite him?" The hand came up to his hair again. He flinched but didn't pull away because he really did want to hear this answer.

"Because I want to ease your suffering. And if Grimmjow can do that, so be it."

"I don't believe you." He shifted but winced, his insides hurt terribly. The King stood and put a hand over his chest.

"Calm yourself. You need to rest."

"You're going to put me back in the chair tomorrow, aren't you?"

"We'll have to see how you're doing."

"Bach..." he held the silence for a long time, neither man moving, but memories of pain on top of what he still felt in his very core made him swallow his pride, "please."

The King let out a long breath, watching strained features in the half light. "I wish there was another way."

Ichigo shut his eyes, a tear squeezed out past his defences but a calloused hand brushed it away.

"It's alright, you'll be better when it's all over. I promise, my son."

* * *

_**Hello again. Thanks sooo much for the support. This story is definitely outside of my comfort zone in both the vulgarity and darkness, but I decided to go with it, so we'll see how it turns out. Thanks for the reviews, I love to hear your thoughts!**_

_**Riza**_


	4. Chapter 4

"Halibel, hey, you're up." Grimmjow himself had just gotten back on his feet and after all the abuse she'd taken, he'd expected it to be longer for her.

"I am stronger than you." She jibed with not hint of a smile in her eyes. He watched her carefully.

"Are you...alright?" "I'll be fine." She said shortly, roaming the room as he had just done, wanting to know just where everything was and where Bach's men stood guard.

It was like a common room of sorts. They had each been assigned a bedroom with a bed, desk and chair, and out here was a larger table and chairs for all of them, a pair of couches, a bookshelf, a small counter with a burner to make tea. It looked rather modern and clean compared to the damp concrete cell they'd been living in until now.

"So what do you think?" He asked her.

"I think we've given up." He tensed, that was exactly what he'd said to Ichigo.

"Would you have chosen to stay in that cell and be tortured again?"

"It doesn't matter, we're here now." She came to the table and they sat.

"I thought I was doing the right thing." He muttered.

"We'll see in time. What you have to ask yourself, is what are the King's real motives?"

"I'm not sure. He's invested in the kid, that's for sure, and I guess he thinks I can help him." "And yet that first day we saw Ichigo, he wanted to use us to make the boy give up hope."

"I know. That still bothers me." Grimmjow didn't elaborate to explain that the first thing he'd done since getting here was to run to the mirror and look himself over. He had started to worry he'd been so disfigured by the torture that it would be enough to upset Ichigo, but despite the scars and wreight loss, he still looked like himself. And why had the King insisted that he had already been reeducated? Perhaps that was just his word for torture.

"It doesn't bear dwelling on." Halibel said eventually when she saw him straying deep into thought. "What I would like to know, is what's happening out there?"

"Right." He wasn't sure how long they'd been here but a significant amount of time had passed. There had been a couple of days when they'd gone unvisited in their cell, and they guessed that was when the Vandenreich had made their attack on Soul Society. Perhaps that was also when they'd taken Ichigo. "With any luck they'll have killed all the soul reapers."

"If that's true, then we have no hope. That would leave the two of us and that boy out there to defeat them."

"I guess. So what? If we do get out of this, are you saying we have to side with the shinigami?"

"If we want to be a part of bringing these bastards down, then yes."

"Fucking great." He leaned back in his chair, wincing as pressure was put on his ribs and hip. His hip had in fact been dislocated and though it was now back in place, only rest could heal it. His hand and wrist were also broken, and one ankle was bound up tightly but just sprained. He still had some of his spiritual pressure, but spells were in place all over the facility to keep them minimal, so they wouldn't help him much in healing.

"Kurosaki doesn't seem like himself." He said after a pause. "He's weakening."

"He's suffering greatly."

"Yeah well, so did we, and look at us, we're the same as ever."

"It's different with him. He is human."

"Right. What happens if he does turn? I mean, what exactly are they doing to him in that chair? Are they brainwashing him?"

"I think they are trying to make the quincy part of his spirit the dominant one. Maybe that will be enough to make him loyal to Bach, or maybe he plans to do the brainwashing after."

"Damn. They really are putting the brat through Hell." He watched her for a moment. "Halibel, _are_ you okay?"

"Of course I am. Why would you ask?" The real reason was obvious, but Grimmjow didn't say it specifically.

"It's just, when they tortured us, they always seemed to do the worst to you. And I guess after seeing Kurosaki I just started wondering if maybe-"

"-if I've cracked too?" He waited for her to yell at him or reprimand him but she just held his gaze for several long seconds before continuing. "I'm fine, Grimmjow. Are you?"

"I am." He said it without arrogance, almost surprise. "But shouldn't we be, I don't, a little shaken?"

She sighed long. "Like I said, it's different with us."

* * *

Ichigo had been sick all night. Every time he tried to drift off he could feel the chair and the machines, feel his body changing, heart pounding, stomach churning. He could feel the straps that held him down, his hands clenched white over the solid wood arms of the chair. He saw Bach's face watching him, hand reaching for his hair.

"Dad!" He sat up sharply in the bed, breathing hard. Sweat had broken out all over him and he gagged on a dry heave but nothing more could come up. He wasn't sure how long this session in the chair had lasted, nor how long he'd been in the ward, but it was silent now. He ran a hand through his hair and shook out the moisture before dropping it back in his lap. His father. His sisters. How long had it been since he'd seen them? Were they wondering where he was? Was Isshin trying to save him, or was he waiting for him to save himself like always?

"Ichigo?" the door had swung open silently. He looked up to the figure in the door. "You've woken."

The teen didn't answer Bach. He bowed his head again.

"Everything is set up in the centre. You won't be alone while you recover."

"Then I want to go now."

"Alright. But we have to discuss the espada's condition first."

"I understand what's wrong."

"But you also understand you can never address it. I never have, because I am sure it would push Grimmjow over the edge. He is the weaker of the two, you know." "It's wrong."

"But it's the only way."

"Fine. I won't say anything."

"Good. Then I will help you down to your room." He got an arm around the teen and helped him up. Ichigo hated to be so weak and to have to rely on this man of all people to help him, but he wanted to rest somewhere other than this place, so he allowed it.

Grimmjow looked up from the table where he was sat with Halibel when the door opened. Instinctively he rose, knocking back his chair, but the King made no threatening moves.

"Ichigo could use some help." Was all he said. Grimmjow looked to Halibel, she nodded and he moved forward to take Ichigo's weight. "There. Now behave and we'll have no problems." Neither man responded to the patronizing order. Grimmjow kept and arm under Ichigo and got him to the couch. He slumped onto it, holding his stomach.

"You look horrible." Grimmjow said to him, taking a seat next to him while Halibel went to the other couch.

"I'll be okay." He breathed with eyes shut.

"I can take you to your bedroom."

"Not yet. I just need to sit."

"Okay."

Grimmjow didn't really know what to do for the teen. They weren't exactly friends, he had no words of comfort or small talk to make, so they just sat in silence. Ichigo eventually fell asleep as he was. Halibel rose to examine the books that had been provided.

"They're from the world of the living." She commented, pulling one from the shelf.

"So are the quincies from there too? I mean, are they even human anymore?"

"I doubt it. I am not sure what this realm is, but they likely came here long ago. With their spiritual pressure, they no doubt evolved. They could be as old as the soul reapers."

"Huh." They lapsed back into silence but it wasn't long before they were startled by a noise from Ichigo. He jerked awake, looking around in confusion.

"Hey kid, remember where you are." He flinched from Grimmjow's touch but the espada gripped him tighter when brown eyes remained unfocussed. "Kurosaki?"

"Grimmjow..." he was slow to return from his nightmare. "Shit." he dropped his head into his hands, pain obvious in his features.

"Kid?"

"I think he just needs time." Halibel had set her book down.

"Okay."

The door opened. Someone brought them in a meal. Grimmjow realized how starving he was, but when he rose, Ichigo didn't move.

"Come on." He helped him stand and got him to the table but while the espada ate, Ichigo just sat there still holding his head.

"You need to eat." Halibel told the teen but he was unresponsive. By the way he half held his stomach, they guessed food didn't have much appeal to him.

"Can you help me to my bed?" He muttered after some time. Grimmjow obliged, and it took most of his strength to get Ichigo to his room. The teen practically fell onto the mattress. He groaned in pain and clutched his stomach. Grimmjow hovered uncertainly, not sure what he should do.

"I'm okay." Ichigo breathed when he saw the espada waiting.

"You're far from okay." he whispered back, but left him to rest.

Grimmjow shut the door and sighed.

"It bothers you, doesn't it?"

He looked to her, she was back on the couch and he moved to sit next to her. "Why should it?"

"Because you've been there."

"Not _there._ We were never in that chair." Her eyes cast sideways. "Halibel?"

"I just meant, you know what it is to be in pain like that."

"I guess. But who cares?"

"It's called compassion, Grimmjow."

"I know what it's called but I don't have it."

"You do, you just can't admit it." He was startled by her touch on his cheek and she brought his face around to look her straight on. "Look at me, Grimmjow. In the time of Aizen, would I have even spoken to you?"

"Thanks."

"I don't mean it offensively, I just mean I have also changed and you know it. So why would you think you haven't changed?"

"We've gone soft, Halibel, that's what's happened."

"No. You were just trained to believe that caring for another was a weakness. It's not. It's all that got us through those months."

She dropped her hand but he kept watching those greens eyes. Those eyes who had always linked to his own in the moments of his worst pain, and hers. They'd shared it all together, and they'd survived it together. But Ichigo was alone if they didn't help him. He sighed.

"Fine, you're right. It bothers me to seem him like that when I know how strong he was before." he conceded.

"Good. Then protect him."

"I already said I would."

"But do it because you want to, not because I told you to."

"Fine, but how? I can't stop them from taking him. I couldn't stop them from- sorry." He looked away from her.

"I told you to stop apologizing."

"Yeah. I know."

He leaned back. She picked up her book. At some point, they fell asleep like that.

* * *

Several days passed before Ichigo was taken again. The teen must have have figured out they would come for him, because the morning they did his hands shook through breakfast and he could barely eat anything. Grimmjow had watched him recover slowly, and get well enough that he had cleaned himself up, picked out a book to read, talked with the espada. But then at the prospect of returning to such pain, everything deteriorated again. His spoon hit the side of his bowl until Grimmjow grabbed his wrist to stop it from shaking so much.

"Sorry." Ichigo said without meeting his eyes. Grimmjow slowly released him but his hand continued to shake. He had no words for the kid. He knew nothing of how to comfort. He just sat there with him.

"You have to stay strong." Halibel said.

"What's that even mean?" Grimmjow shot at her, suddenly angry, his default emotion kicking in as he grew increasingly confused about his feelings of concern for the boy.

"Grimmjow." She warned.

"I'm sorry Halibel, but how is he supposed to stay strong? We should be coming up with a fucking plan to get out of this place! All three of us are together now, it's our best shot at making a run for it. The kid's as strong as he's been in days, why not fight it out when they come?"

"Because we'll lose and then they'll break us up again." she said cooly. He watched her for a long moment and then sighed.

"Fine. But we can't just sit on our thumbs. We have to come up with some sort of plan." "A plan, yes. But recklessness will only end badly." She agreed. Ichigo glanced between the two at the table, before settling back on Grimmjow.

"Do you have a plan?"

"Not yet."

"Grimmjow."

"Yeah?" "Just, don't do anything to get taken from here, okay? If I have to come back here and be alone..."

Grimmjow was taken aback by the emotion in his eyes. The man who'd always been such a fierce opponent looked so..._delicate_ now. The warrior in him wasn't gone, but he was muted under such sadness, such suffering and before he knew what he was doing, Grimmjow reached out and put a hand on his arm.

"I won't."

And then the door opened. All three of them rose but there was nothing to be done. Ichigo stepped willingly forward into their waiting hands just in case Grimmjow did something stupid. He watched them take him away, such defeat etched in sunken shoulders.

"Motherfuckers." Grimmjow growled when the door shut.

"Come on." Halibel gripped his arm. "We should work on that plan."

* * *

"You're going to go bald." Halibel warned him. She set her book back down, _Battle Royale_. Grimmjow had read the back flap and was surprised that something like that was of interest to Halibel. Now he stared at the two teens on the cover, blood specked, their eyes haunted, and could only see the face of Ichigo. His hands had knotted tight into his hair as he sat there in the long silence. He only realized just how tight when Halibel spoke and he withdrew his fingers from the blue mess.

"You're thinking about him in that chair, aren't you?"

"Of course I am!" He launched himself from the couch, pacing. Now that his own wounds were much more healed, he was restless. He found himself pacing back and forth in their common room all the time, driving Halibel crazy as she tried to read or tried to get him to sit down and talk strategy. But all he could see now was Ichigo in that chair, the single tear rolling from his cheek.

"Why in the hell does it bother me so much?" he'd asked the ceiling about five times today alone. It had been three days since Ichigo had been taken. Halibel had stopped answering the question.

"And we're no closer to a plan." he sighed, dropping into a chair at the table and gripping his hair again.

"Our options are limited." she said.

"We've come up with nothing in three days!"

"Calm yourself." she warned. He took a breath but it did nothing and when the door opened he was on his feet in a flash.

"Kurosaki." He moved at once to relieve the guard of his burden. Ichigo slumped against him entirely. He was relieved to have the teen back in their company but he looked to be fresh from his Hell. Normally, he recovered in the medical ward first.

"The King and doctor are occupied." The guard offered as an explanation. "If the boy gets worse, call for help."

He shut the door on them.

"What the hell does that mean?"

But he hoisted Ichgio up and over to the couch.

He'd never seen just how awful it was after a session. Ichigo vomited non-stop until everything in his stomach was expelled and then he suffered dry heaves over the course of the next twelve hours. He lay on his side on the couch like he was dying. His whole body shivered and sweated. He did his best to contain his pain but moans escaped him from time to time. He could barely move on his own, Grimmjow had to help him hold a glass of water and drink it. He spilled most of it and the rest came up again shortly after. And even when he was past the dry heaves, he was still sick, his skin on fire, his eyes barely able to open for the pain light caused him.

Grimmjow caught glimpses of what was going on in Ichigo's mind. The word _dad_ seemed to mutter out in his sleep alot, or the names of friends, Grimmjow knew some, like Orihime and the ones who had invaded Hueco Mundo. He wondered what had happened to them, and why they had not come for Ichigo as the teen would have come for them.

He slept sitting on the floor leaning against the couch while Ichigo lapsed in and out of consciousness over the next day. He woke stiff from having sat the same way all night, head bowed and knees up. But a weak hand on his shoulder stirred him awake and he turned to Ichigo.

"Bathroom..." was all the teen said. Grimmjow got an arm under his shoulders and helped him stand. The teen swayed and fell against him and it took two arms around him to get him into the bathroom and sat on the lid of the toilet.

"What do you need?" Grimmjow crouched before him.

"Shower."

"Bath." He countered. "I don't think you can stand up and I'm not holding you up."

Ichigo just nodded. Grimmjow ran the bath for him and Ichigo struggled out of his shirt. Grimmjow was surprised to see Ichigo's ribs as prominent as his own, even though he'd been here much longer. He was a bit taken aback by his entire appearance. The teen's face was thin but not as gaunt as he would expect from this sight. Ichigo caught his startled expression and looked down at himself.

"I can't believe they've done this to me." he whispered. His hands shook as they ran down his chest. Grimmjow watched him cover his face. "How is this possible?"

"They're evil bastards." Grimmjow responded.

"...yeah."

He grabbed the sink and tried to stand but his legs failed him and Grimmjow moved quickly to catch him. His arms wrapped around pale, cold flesh, he felt the rapid rise and fall of his chest. His most immediate thought was to drop him, to let him go and get away, because this feeling, of sympathy, of compassion, of maybe even caring, was so foreign to him- but he could practically hear Halibel in his head telling him to watch out for this boy so he didn't let him go, he just stood there with him in his arms, feeling the shudders, feeling something in him start to break.

And when Ichigo felt arms tighten around him in response, when he knew this man really had changed, and wasn't going to judge him, he let it out. He sobbed, half naked, in the chest of a man who'd once lived only to kill him.

* * *

The water drained from the bathtub. Grimmjow sat with his back adamantly to the naked teen but tossed him a towel without looking at him. Ichigo did his best to dry off and cover himself up before telling Grimmjow he was ready. They didn't bother even testing the strength of Ichigo's legs. He'd almost fainted against Grimmjow after exhausting himself with tears. He hadn't even been able to get his pants off himself.

But Grimmjow never commented, never made it awkward when he'd needed help with the most basic tasks. He'd gotten him in the tub and then silently sat with his back to him in case he'd needed help. Now he brought him to his bed, pulled fresh clothes from the drawer. They all wore the white short sleeve shirt and pants that marked them as prisoners or patients in this place. He helped him dress. It was so strange, and silence reigned between them. When he was settled, Grimmjow rose and left him without a word.

Ichigo thought he would fall asleep immediately, but he couldn't. His mind that always went back to friends and family now settled on the sixth espada. He had found comfort in him. And it wasn't that he was a former enemy that bothered him.

It was because he was being helped by someone already so broken.

* * *

_**Hello again! What an interesting mix of reviews! This story is bringing out a number of reactions and opinions, which I think is very suiting as it does the same to me! I've never taken a story in this direction before and I am rather weary of doing so, but I think it's worth some unease to expand my writing horizons.**_

_** I got both the comment that this is OOC and IC. I've also been asked who my target audience is. I'll say this: the physical side of the H/C relationship in this one just seemed natural- I don't really want to spoil anything, but yes we will see Grimmjow and Ichigo together. Is that all that's going on in this story? Certainly not! I'm not going to pigeon hole this one genre or another, but I will happily read whatever your thoughts are on this stroy. **_

_**Thanks as always,**_

_**Riza.**_


	5. Chapter 5

Grimmjow was startled awake just a few hours later by the door opening to their common area. He had fallen asleep on the couch again. He couldn't seem to find peace in his own room, he needed to be where he could hear Ichigo or Halibel- or intruders, as he did now.

"What the Hell?" He asked when he saw Hashwald move to Ichigo's door.

"He must continue."

"What? He's not recovered yet." Other soldiers went in to drag the teen from his bed. He could hear protests coming from Ichigo.

"The King has put his Reeducation in my hands and I will not allow progress to be lost with these long days of recuperation."

Ichigo was drug out between two men, face unable to hide his start and fear.

"No." Grimmjow took another step forward. "You can't take him this soon. Bach was giving him a break for a reason."

"It matters not. He's my prisoner now."

"Screw you." Grimmjow made it one step before he was floored. The strike was so hard and fast he tasted blood even before his face connected with tile.

"Grimmjow!" He heard Halibel call but she was stayed by a warning kick to the Sixth's ribs.

"If you want to remain here, you'll behave." he was warned.

"Fuck you." The boot came for his face. He glimpsed the horror on Ichigo's face for one second before the black took him.

* * *

"Grimmjow?" His eyes opened on the room. He was still on the floor, she was next to him.

"Shit. How long was I out?"

"A while."

"Then why did you leave me on the floor?" He grunted, pushing off hard tile and feeling the stiffness of having lain prone for so long. His ribs groaned and he stopped moving.

"That's why. I didn't know if they were broken."

"Yup." He wheezed in pain. "Definitely broken." They remained on the floor for the time being while he caught his breath and assessed the damage. His fingers trailed over a swollen nose, his face crusted with blood. "That asshole."

"At least we're still here and not back in the cells. You have to be more careful."

"I know. I just lost it."

"You were very good with Ichigo earlier. I'm impressed."

"Thanks." the sardonic edge wasn't lost on her.

"I'm being sincere, Grimmjow."

"He's just so... I don't know. I never expected to feel like this about a soul reaper." He looked to her. "Or anyone for that matter."

"Grimmjow Jaggerjaques, how sentimental you've become." she teased, leaning into him and helping him stand. He didn't get far, just to a chair where she eased him as he let out a long breath. "What do you need?"

"I'll be fine." he said. "I just need to sit here for a few minutes."

"Okay." She sat next to him while he let the sharp pain wash into an ache he could handle. Then he made his way to the bathroom and cleaned himself up.

Waiting, he decided, was worse than the moment the door opened. Grimmjow practically counted the minutes, knowing each one was like a century for the teen strapped into his Hell. And when Ichigo was dropped into his arms, a mess of vomit and tears, he still managed to feel relief, because he knew Ichigo was still Ichigo and they hadn't succeeded.

Their lives became only this. Each day Ichigo was taken. Rather than strapping him in for days at a time and then giving him days to recover, they put him in for twelve hours and gave him twelve hours to recover. Like this, he never fully returned to himself like he had. He was never able to fully escape the pain and horror and the growing confusion in him. His body was constantly exhausted, but unable to rest for the fear and pain. And that resistance he'd had all along was chipping away. He'd held back tears for so long but now every time Grimmjow opened the door to take him from the soldiers, he fell into his arms and broke down.

Eventually, Grimmjow accepted the fact he hated to see Ichigo suffering. Maybe because he knew how powerful the teen had been and it enraged him to see a warrior reduced to this. Maybe because he knew Ichigo was young and not trained to deal with torture. He wasn't sure. But he would hold him while he sobbed, he would undress and him and clean him up, and get him in bed for the few hours he had to rest. He watched the confusion grow in him, listened to his words slur and memories jumble.

Ichigo was losing himself.

And Hashwald was unrelenting. He came and drug Ichigo away no matter how weak the teen became. And he did it with a smile.

And that was the King's game.

Juha was very interested in winning Ichigo over, but the teen was repulsed by him. So he'd turned him over to Hashwald to show Ichigo how cruel things could be.

Halibel was the one to figure it out. Somewhere in the three weeks that this went on, she put the clues together. Her suspicions were confirmed when after those three weeks Grimmjow lost his control again. Desperate for relief and half delusional from the toll his body was taking, Ichigo had broken down when Hashwald came to take him. Swaying in the grasp of his captors, eyes not even able to focus, he'd pleaded for them stop, his desperate voice so in contrast to his warrior spirit. It struck Grimmjow deeply and when they had ignored the pleas of the teen, he'd attacked them.

He was floored again, a boot came down on his recently healed hand and crushed it. He screamed into the floor. Ichigo hollered in his captor's grasp, and then Juha Bach arrived to rescue them, to be merciful. He ordered Ichigo to be released and given longer to recover. He'd instructed someone to tend to Grimmjow's hand. Then Bach guided Ichigo to the couch where he held his face in that sickeningly father-like gesture and swore he would make things better.

Halibel sat next to Grimmjow at the table as the scene unfolded, as Ichigo broke into tears of relief and the King smiled when he rose.

"Shit." Grimmjow barely breathed, knowing she'd been right. All of this had just been a game to the bastard. Ichigo was so unbalanced by whatever they were constantly pumping into his system he couldn't think straight anymore, so it was easy for the King to deceive him and gain ground. Perhaps that, more than the spiritual transformation, was Ichigo's Reeducation.

"And how are you?" Grimmjow started, having lost himself to thought and looked up at the dark King. His broken hand had been bandaged up, he pulled it from the table when the King sat next to him. "Grimmjow?"

"What?"

"I asked how you were."

"Just great." He shot sarcastically.

"And Halibel?" She was in the next chair over.

"I'm fine." She said, not sure what the King wanted from them.

"I must thank you both, for being so supportive of Ichigo. I was just hoping you too, might see improvement here."

"Well not being tortured is a plus, if that's what you mean." Grimmjow answered.

"It's not."

He narrowed his eyes at him. "Then what?"

"If you don't know, then it means you haven't improved, either of you. It's unfortunate, but you've proven your worth with Ichigo, so I will keep you around."

"Well, if you're really thankful, you'd let us go."

The King smiled darkly on him. "That might just be the cruelest thing I could do to you, Grimmjow." Blue eyes narrowed, trying to decipher the meaning, but there was deeply unsettling honesty in his words and eyes.

"How?"

"I'm afraid you and Halibel would not find the peace you have here in the outside world."

"The Hell does that mean? Would you stop it with all your cryptic bullshit!"

"Yes of course. It's not good to pick at a scab, now is it?"

Grimmjow watched him cross the room and leave. He sat for a long while staring at the door and trying to makes sense of the King's words.

"Grimmjow?" Ichigo called from the couch. He'd nearly forgotten the distraught teen and moved to his side at once. "Is he gone?"

"Yeah."

"He said I could rest for a while."

Grimmjow set his jaw. He wanted to tell Ichigo this was just part of Juha's game but he didn't want to upset him more.

"Yeah." Was all he said. "I'll take you back to your room."

"No." Ichigo protested. "I mean, I can't rest, my mind won't stop."

Grimmjow nodded. "Okay. We'll all stay here then." He offered.

Halibel went to the book shelf and pulled out a new novel. _The Hobbit._ "Here." She dropped it in Grimmjow's lap. "Distract him."

"What? You want me to read out loud?" He asked her incredulously, "You do it."

"You have a better voice for it." She said simply. He couldn't argue this. There was nothing unpleasant about Halibel's voice, but it echoed hollowly off her mask.

"Fine."

He read.

Grimmjow had never been a big fan of reading, but he had a natural talent for narration: his voice that was generally infused with anger and violence, was soothing, relaxing, as it recounted a tale that had become classic in Ichigo's world. Even though Ichigo knew parts of the story, he saw it all so much clearer as it was read aloud. He allowed pictures of a grassy village of simple folk to replace the horrors of that chamber, that chair. He forgot about friends that didn't come for him and the questions of his own past and origins.

He sat and listened and let his body readjust. And for over an hour they all found peace in a fictional place and time. And when Ichigo began to sag, and fell asleep, sliding against Grimmjow, he didn't pull away. He let the light form find comfort in their closeness, he saw no mocking or judgement in Halibel's eyes. He closed the book. They fell asleep.

* * *

Ichigo woke violently. They had both slumped to the side in the night and now the teen lay half atop him. Grimmjow righted them but the teen continued to take in strained breaths and grasp at his chest.

"Kid?"

He bent forward as if the oxygen might more easily found that way but he still struggled to get air.

"Halibel!"

"He's having a panic attack." She told him.

"What do we do?"

"Let it pass." This did not seem like a viable option as the teen looked to be in terrible pain and straining to get air.

"Get help." Grimmjow told her.

"From who, the guards? They'll take him away."

"Shit. Come on, kid, calm down." Grimmjow tentatively put a hand on his back. He really didn't know what to do, but couldn't just watch Ichigo drown on air. "Kurosaki, you're breathing too much."

"Feels like...there's no air."

"There is though, and your taking in too much."

Fingers clenched in his white cotton shirt. Grimmjow leaned closer and put a hand over his, trying to get him to relax. Ichigo gave into the touch, he leaned into him, but the desperate breaths wouldn't let up for a long time. The espada ran a hand up and down his back, trying to get muscles to unclench, but nothing was working.

Tears eventually broke out, different from before as they were mixed with this new emotional assault. There was just something so pain-filled about them, so agonized and uncontrolled. He was sobbing for the pain, surely, but more for what was happening to him, mind, body and soul, and how he no longer had the ability to control his emotions, his reactions.

"I've got you." Grimmjow spoke the words low, soft, and without thought. He maintained his sideways embrace around the teen, until Ichigo finally gave a last gasp into his chest and grew slack in his hold. He wasn't unconscious, he was just exhausted. He dropped his hand from his chest, but held back on Grimmjow's hand.

"You should rest." Grimmjow said.

"I don't want to go back to the nightmare."

"Do you want me to read?"

He shook his head. "I just want peace."

Peace. It's what the King claimed Grimmjow had found with Halibel here. Maybe he was right, but the only time he'd ever felt peace was when they were together, in each other's arms, and he knew he wasn't alone. And now, the way Ichigo's fingers were wrapped around his own, he knew the teen needed the same.

He didn't know why it didn't bother him, or feel awkward when he shifted their bodies and lay back on the couch, Ichigo against him. He wasn't sure at what point he'd become okay with being so physically close with the soul reaper, but it felt like the most natural thing in the world when they lay there, he on his back, Ichigo laying sideways, part next to him, part on him, his head resting on the espada's chest.

"He's alright now?" Halibel asked, and Grimmjow almost jolted, having forgot she was in the room with them. But he didn't feel embarrassed, she understood as much as him that this was what Ichigo needed. He nodded to her. "I'll be in my room if you need anything." She said and he heard her door shut.

"Thank you, Grimmjow." Ichigo spoke into his shirt. Grimmjow had one arm around his back and Ichigo hugged him across the chest as they lay rather comfortably in the small space. "Is this okay with you?"

"I guess."

"I'm just so tired but I can't stand being so alone all the time."

"Kurosaki- Ichigo," he corrected using the teen's informal name for the first time, "I know I'm not the best at expressing myself, but I meant it, I want to protect you and I want to be your ally. I can't explain just when I stopped hating you but now I...I don't know. I find it hard to see you in pain."

The breath that escaped Ichigo was so full of relief he almost sounded like he was going to cry again, but he didn't.

"It's the same for me. When I saw you here, I almost forgot our history, you were just, someone from the outside world, someone from before all this, and I missed that so much. And now I've gotten to know you and you're a good person."

"No I'm not."

"You are, though."

"Shut it."

"Fine." but he actually smiled against him. "Is it okay, if we stay like this for a while?" "I guess. You should try to rest if you can."

"I'll try."

They each took a long breath, perfectly in synch, and shut their eyes to all the darkness and the pain.

* * *

_**Thanks for the reviews and the support!**_

_**Shamless self-plug: if you've read the manga recently you may be interested in my story "A Night in Hueco Mundo" inspired by a recent chapter.**_

_**Riza**_


	6. Chapter 6

Grimmjow woke when he felt suddenly cold and the light weight that had been pressed against him disappeared. Ichigo rose and went to the kitchenette to put the pot on. Grimmjow watched him for a second before Ichigo notice him.

"Oh, you want some tea too?"

"Yeah." He answered, sitting. "So, how are you feeling?" Ichigo got out two cups and returned to the couch area. He sat next to Grimmjow.

"Tired. I think it's going to be a while before that passes but...I slept all night. I didn't have a single nightmare."

He seemed embarrassed by the fact and didn't meet Grimmjow's eyes.

"It's okay, kid. Halibel and I would sleep like that in the cell. I don't even know when it started, but we just understood each other. We needed each other."

"And now?"

"Now we're okay. But you aren't."

"Okay." This didn't entirely clarify for the teen Grimmjow's feelings on the matter, but he felt a bit more comfortable with the situation. The kettle screamed as it reached a boil, Ichigo went over and made the tea, bringing it to the table. Grimmjow rose and knocked on Halibel's door.

"We made tea."

Ichigo poured a third cup and set it at the table as well. A moment later, Halibel emerged from her room and joined them.

"So he's feeling better I take it?" She asked Grimmjow before they sat.

"A bit." they drank their tea in silence. Ichigo still looked exhausted, but after he finished his tea, he excused himself to the washroom. Grimmjow watched Halibel, her cup untouched.

"You don't want your tea?" She just shrugged. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"I haven't forgotten, what's happened to you, you know."

"Shit Grimmjow." she stood up sharply. "Do you have to bring that up?" He watched her take a shuddering breath.

"Uh, apparently I should have before. Halibel, you're not okay, are you?"

"What the hell do you think?" Her golden lashes narrowed. "What, do you think _you're_ okay?"

He balked a bit at the question. Yes, he had memories of the pain, and he was haunted by those times he'd been forced to watch them do their worst to her, but given all of that, yes he did consider himself to be quite alright, while she on the other hand, stood before him trembling from head to toe.

"I'm sorry Halibel, but yes, I do think I'm okay."

"Then you're more pathetic than I thought." She growled.

"What?"

"You're delusional Grimmjow, and you think think _you_ can help Ichigo when you're like this."

"LIKE WHAT? I'm fine!"

She watched him carefully and took a calming breath. "Like nothing, Grimmjow, I'm sorry."

"No." He grabbed her around her shoulders. "Not you, Halibel. The King plays his mind games and he keep saying things about me not being well, but I am, I know I am. But if you say it- what is it? Tell me what's wrong with me!" Green eyes scanned his for a long moment. Then they dropped and she wrenched from his grip.

"I'm not having this conversation with you."

"The Hell you aren't, Halibel. What is it?" But she turned her back on him and went to her room. "HALIBEL!" He screamed at the door that slammed in his face. He was about to barge in when the bathroom door opened and he saw Ichigo staring at him in alarm.

"What, what is it? What's going on?" the teen was already on edge but the screams must have alarmed him more.

"Halibel." He said using everything in him to calm down again.

"What happened?" Grimmjow looked to the door meaningfully. "I guess I pissed her off. She slammed the friggin' door in my face."

"She locked herself in her room?"

"Yeah." He turned to the teen. "Don't worry about it." He wasn't about to tell him the details of their conversation while he was barely recovered from his own breakdown.

"Alright." He moved from the steaming bathroom to his own room, "If you're sure everything's okay."

"It's fine. Go get changed."

"Okay." Grimmjow dropped heavily onto the couch but looked up to the bathroom door. Maybe a shower would help him cool off and try to forget Halibel's words.

He let the water run cold. His thoughts skipped between concern for Halibel and Ichigo. Was she jealous? The two of them hadn't ever been a couple, and he hadn't slept with her like that since the cell. Did she need comforting too? But she was the one who'd told him to look out for Ichigo.

And the kid. He hadn't admitted it, but he'd also slept better than ever with Ichigo next to him. It felt good, it felt right. It felt like they weren't quite prisoners anymore, when they could find comfort in this place. But what did any of it mean?

"Fuck." He was shivering by the time he left the bathroom. Cold water had chilled his body but done nothing to calm his mind. There was no sign of Halibel when he came out, her bedroom door still shut. Ichigo was sitting on the couch staring at the page of a book but eyes unmoving. Grimmjow joined him.

"What is it?" He asked Ichigo.

"I was thinking about Halibel. What got her upset?"

"Just stuff." "No, really, I want to know." He wasn't sure why the kid was pushing the issue but he relented.

"She seemed upset, I asked her about it. I sort of brought up... well, you know."

"Oh." Ichigo shut the book and brown eyes met him, for once quite calm, maybe concern for another helped him forget his own worries. "Grimmjow, tell me about it."

"What? You want to know about them raping her?"

"Not like that. I just mean, did that happen all the time? And what did they do to you?"

"It's not an issue anymore, is it?"

"I just want to know."

"I don't see why." But he saw some unrecognizable need there, maybe just to help him identify with them, so he told him. "The man you saw that day, he'd been visiting her for about a week. He wasn't supposed to. I know this, because someone else got caught a couple of months before that. He was even worse, if you can believe it. He hurt her so bad: Drsicoll, he was a big guy in every sense." He shut his eyes for a moment. "I was helpless. Every fucking time it happened to her, I couldn't stop it."

"You were a prisoner too."

"It doesn't matter. None of it did in that moment. Didn't matter that I was in chains, that she was stronger than me. She was _my_ ally to protect. And I couldn't do a thing. The King found out eventually. But not after several times."

"It must be a horrible memory."

"Of course it is. But it will never be as bad for me as it was for her. Something like that, it's so different than just pain. It takes everything from you. She was so different after that. Just witnessing that was worse than anything they did to me."

"And then they did it again right after you made a break with me?"

He nodded. "But it's got nothing to do with you."

"It sort of does. The only reason you were punished was because you tried to escape with me."

"We were already trying to escape before that. We would have been caught regardless of whether we stopped for you."

"I don't get it. Why did the King torture you?"

"I don't know. It guess it was part of his Reeducation."

"But he didn't put you in the chair."

"No." Grimmjow paused on this, he remembered that look in Halibel's eyes. "Not that _I_ remember."

They both looked to the bedroom door.

"You think you might have forgotten?"

"I don't know. But I think she does."

* * *

They ate when food came. Halibel refused to come out. Their doors didn't actually lock, but she could have wedged the chair under the handle. Grimmjow tried to convince her through solid wood to come join them but it was no good. Eventually he gave up and the two men spent the day together.

There really wasn't much to do. Ichigo was feeling a bit better but this only made his anxiety worse. He was very unsettled by the panic attack, he'd never had one before and hadn't known how all- consuming it could be. They were mostly just quiet. Ichigo seemed confident enough to go to his own room for the night. Grimmjow remained on the couch again.

He heard the cry halfway through the night. Ichigo didn't come out of his room though. Halibel didn't reemerged until morning. And then the soldiers took Ichigo again.

It seemed endless to the teen. Clothes stripped to boxers. Needles. Oxygen. Drugs. They'd started giving him something that increased his stamina, but nothing they tried could lessen the pain. The King sat with him for a while, watched him writhe in his straps, tears dropping intermittently from his eyes. He closed a hand over his. If Ichigo hadn't been chained down he would have pulled away.

It all became a jumble to him, but he knew he was there for so much longer this time. He felt himself slipping, returning to safer times when his life revolved around bullies and school and passing tests. He lost himself to memories until nothing was clear to him anymore and darkness and cold consumed him.

When Ichigo woke- or rather, became aware of himself again- he felt his body convulsing. He wasn't throwing up, he was sobbing. He wasn't sure how he could be crying if he didn't even remember waking up, but he was, he felt heartache so deep it threatened to split him in half. But someone held him. Bare arms warmed his own naked back. He noted his bare legs, he must have been just returned from the chair, still only in his black shorts. White tile poked out beneath him: the kitchen. His hands were clutched into the white shirt of the man holding him. He'd soaked through the cotton with his tears.

And instead of snapping out of it he cried all the harder for his confusion and fear. Grimmjow's hand slid up his back to hold the back of his head, he shifted his chin so Ichigo's face could tuck more tightly into his collar.

"I've got you," that soft yet strong voice floated down to him. He took a gasping breath but let it out without tears. It took several minutes, but he managed to calm himself enough to stop crying. He lay shaking against Grimmjow, unable to fathom how he had been reduced to such a state.

"Grimmjow." his voice sounded foreign to himself as it was so thick from the tears. "I don't even remember coming back."

"They've started drugging you." He whispered to him, afraid a louder sound would break this moment of clarity. "It's causing you to have lapses and an inability to control your emotions. That's what they said when they brought you back, anyway. You've been here for about an hour."

"Are we in the kitchen?"

"It's as far as we got."

"Oh. How long this time?" He felt Grimmjow swallow. "How long?" "You were in the chair for almost six days."

Ichigo shut his eyes and couldn't help grip Grimmjow back a little harder. The other responded, tightening his hold.

"I can't do this anymore, Grimmjow. I feel it happening. I'm getting confused. Memories aren't right."

"How's the pain?"

"It's different now." It used to feel like his organs were on fire but now it seemed concentrated in his chest and head- his heart and mind. "I think he's already changed my spiritual pressure. I think now it's my soul he wants."

Grimmjow definitely knew Ichigo's spiritual pressure had changed, though he didn't confirm this, but the boy radiated Quincy energy. The soul reaper and hollow powers were still there, but deep and dominated.

"Your soul is yours, Ichigo. No one else's."

"It will be his in the end."

"Only if you let him. I'm not trying to sound harsh, but I mean it, you can still beat him."

"You think?"

"Of course. His Reeducation didn't work on me, so it won't on you?" He felt Ichigo tense. "What?"

Ichigo let out a breath, his body relaxed and sagged against him. "I'm so tired."

Grimmjow nodded. "I'll take you to your room."

He was still filthy from days of sweating, probably even vomiting, but that could wait. Ichigo was utterly spent when Grimmjow lay him in his bed, but he didn't let go of the other man's chest. Understanding, Grimmjow lay down with him. He pulled the frail form against him and held him tight. In this embrace, Ichigo found peace enough to sleep.

* * *

It went on for weeks. Long sessions, not all quite as long as the six days, but terrible. The drug added another element that messed with Ichigo's system. On his recovery period, he only wanted to sleep, and he could only do that with Grimmjow. So that became their norm. They never spoke of it, Grimmjow would just lay with him at night, whether on the couch or in his bed. In the day time, all three would sit in the common area, and Grimmjow would read from the book giving them all escape. Ichigo would lay against his chest until he drifted, the rumble of Grimmjow's voice soothing.

But many times he would come awake again and suffer a panic attack. Grimmjow would hold him, but that was all he could do. Ichigo began to shake, even when he wasn't having an attack. He got easily startled, his nerves were frayed.

Grimmjow put in a request with their guards when Ichigo was taken next. Ichigo was returned a sobbing mess once more, but after sleeping off the worst of it, Grimmjow got him up and sat him at the kitchen table. He was trembling all over, but Grimmjow produced a bottle of clear liquid.

"What is it?"

"Alcohol. One of the guards gave it to me."

"Really?"

"I told them it was for your nerves."

"Oh. Do you think it will help?"

"I guess so. Halibel doesn't agree but it's worth a shot, isn't?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"Good." He got out a glass and started pouring.

"Aren't you going to have some?"

"It's for you."

"I don't want to drink alone."

Grimmjow smiled. "Fine, you twisted my arm. Halibel?"

"It's a bad idea." she warned and didn't join them. "Ask the guard for cards next time."

"Good idea." He smiled around his glass. Ichigo got the impression Grimmjow wasn't unused to knocking back a bit of hard liquor. He himself, had never drank before, and sputtered when the sharp taste hit him. He thought it might be vodka, but he really wasn't sure what kind of moonshine Quincy prison guards would have in the Vandenreich home world.

"Fuck." Ichigo swore, which was a bit more rare for him.

"Good, eh?" Grimmjow grinned.

"It's disgusting."

"It'll make you feel better."

Ichigo got through a glass. His head already felt lighter, he relaxed some and sat back more easily in his chair.

"I guess you were right." He said.

"You've barely had four ounces, kid, don't tell me you're done now."

"I feel better."

"Fine." he finished his own drink and came around to Ichigo. This session had been very taxing and the teen was so drained he could barely walk. Grimmjow got his arms under him and lifted him up.

"You don't have to carry me." Ichigo sighed into his chest.

"It's fine." but he didn't take him to the bedroom. He was still disgusting from his days in the chair so Grimmjow took him into the bathroom and ran the water. Ichigo sat on the toilet lid as they waited for the bath to fill. He watched Grimmjow with tired eyes.

"When it happens, will you tell me?"

"What?"

"When he changes me completely. Will you tell me?"

"I thought we already decided that won't happen."

"Would you want to know?"

"If I was brainwashed? Well I wouldn't believe someone who told me I was, would I? So what difference would it make?"

Ichigo considered this. It seemed to ease some pain in him. "Yeah, you're right."

"Don't dwell on these things, kid. There, you going to be alright?"

"Yeah."

He left Ichigo to the bath. The teen _was_ changing. It was alarming. They had to get out of here before it was irreversible, but he and Halibel still had nothing. Grimmjow couldn't fathom why no one had come for Ichigo. If the Soul Reapers tried something, they would serve as a distraction if nothing else, and possibly give them a chance to escape. But there was only silence from the outside world.

Ichigo fell asleep in the tub. Grimmjow went to check on him to find him slouched against the side. He sighed and pulled him out, dried him off and put his boxers back on.

Ichigo woke again when they lay down, never commenting to the fact he must have been found naked. They always lay atop the sheets when they were on his bed, to go under seemed to make this whole arrangement more than what it was, but Ichigo shivered and rather than getting up and pulling on clothes, he drew the sheets back. Grimmjow followed suit, still, they never spoke. The other was fully clothed, but tonight Ichigo felt hyper aware of his breaths at his back, the hands loosely draped over him made him shiver for a different reason, fingers shifted unconsciously against his abdominal muscles.

He became very hot all of a sudden.

Grimmjow fared no better. Perhaps it was the hint of alcohol in their systems, or simply the fact they were under the sheets and Ichigo mostly naked, but the espada had to force his hand to remain still on heated flesh. He told himself Ichigo was still warm from the bath. His own skyrocketing body temperature, was another thing, and he to shifted so Ichigo wouldn't feel a certain hardening organ at his back.

It was agony for Grimmjow. He waited for Ichigo to go under before pulled away from him and hurrying to the bathroom.

"I was wondering when that would happen."

"Fuck!" He was well into the job when she pushed the door open. He turned his back to her but couldn't really stop at this point. "Some privacy?" He shouted back at her.

"Did you really not see this coming? Pardon the pun."

He bit his lip as he spilled over the edge, turning back to the toilet despite her presence. If she really did want to stand there and watch this then that was her problem. He did up his pants and washed up before turning to her.

"Did I think I would be jacking off to a human soul reaper after being captured and tortured by the Vandenriech? No, Halibel, I did not see that _happening_."

"You're the world's biggest idiot."

"Why?"

"This is a mistake on so many levels. He's scared out of his mind and desperate to find comfort."

"_You _told me to look after him."

"I didn't mean like this. This is going to hurt you both."

"Nothing has to change. I've obviously handled it."

"And tomorrow night, and the next night? And do you really think he isn't having the same problem?"

"I'm not gay, Halibel."

"This isn't about sexual orientation. This is about how much you care for someone. Besides, how would you know you're not gay? I'm the only woman you've ever been around and we never had sex."

He didn't retort because he couldn't come up with anything that would save face. Instead he turned back to the mirror, her eyes ever watching him past his shoulder.

"Grimmjow, I'm only trying to stop this before it blows up in your face. I'm the one who's going to have to live with two sexually frustrated men, after all."

"Well then isn't it in your best interest to let us, _work it out_."

"Not when you end up hurting him as much as he'll hurt you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means he's keeping something from you as much as you're keeping secrets from him."

"About him changing?"

"Yes."

"But what is he keeping from me? Did he tell you something?"

"He didn't have to. But don't ask me to tell you, ask him, if you really think this is the right decision."

"I'm not deciding on anything, Haliebl, not yet. This kind of caught me off guard." he pushed past her into the common area.

"You've been holding onto him pretty much the entire time he's here, I'm not sure why this caught you by surprise."

He scrubbed his hands over his face and sat heavily on the couch. She sat next to him. "Well, because I just wanted to help him at first. Think about it, Halibel, I never knew what it was to give someone comfort like that before."

"Not many hugs in Hueco Mundo." she conceded.

"And then I guess it's like you said. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a way to share strength. And he needed strength so badly, it just felt right."

"But you don't have that much strength to give."

"I do though. I don't know why you keep bringing this up, Halibel." but he guessed he did know why. He reached out and took her hand. It was tense, sweaty. He met her eyes. "There's another reason I didn't expect to feel this way about Ichigo."

"We were never a couple."

"It doesn't mean I never had feelings for you."

"But not like that." She stated simply.

"No. Because so much happened."

"Because I was raped." He shut his eyes. She leaned in and pressed her forehead against his. "It wasn't your fault."

"It feels like it was."

"Don't hold that guilt inside of you, please. Grimmjow, the bond we share is just different. We were the last of our kind, we coexisted and then we co-survived. But I'm not meant to be with you forever."

"What do you mean by that?" He gripped her hand a little tighter. "Halibel, whatever's going on with Ichigo, it will never change the fact that we are the last espada, and we've been through all of this. We will always be together."

The sadness in her eyes was a match only to Ichigo's in the deepest throes of his horror and sorrow.

"Halibel, what is it?"

But she shifted so their heads were no longer touching and leaned past him, pulling him in an embrace against her.

"I'm sorry, Grimmjow."

"Why? What is it?"

"Everything, just everything." She murmured against him. He left it at that, holding her tight. She slipped from his embrace some time later and returned to her room. He waited in the common area, so confused now, by both his cellmates. He didn't want Ichigo to wake up and find him not there, but he now felt like he was abandoning Halibel in her time of need and choosing Ichigo over her. So he didn't pick. He just lay down on the couch.

He didn't sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Ichigo and Grimmjow didn't get a chance to talk about their equally awkward night. Neither knew the other had had a similar issue. The guards came and took Ichigo away again. Grimmjow had to be restrained, he couldn't help himself. Later, the King came, while Grimmjow was nursing a bleeding nose, Halibel holding a cloth against it.

"You know there's no point to fighting."

"I can't help it." Grimmjow muttered to his captor. "What you do to him..." he let hang. There weren't enough words in his or anyone's vocabulary to describe his hatred for this man.

"Grimmjow, what do you want?"

"What?"

"When Ichigo becomes mine, what do you want? Do you want to remain with him or do you want me to let you go?"

Halibel dropped the cloth. They both stared at the King.

"What do you mean?"

"It's a simple question."

"Since when was freedom an option?"

"Since now."

He clenched his jaw and looked to Halibel. "What if I stayed and she was freed."

"Grimmjow! How could you even consider that?" She scolded.

"That is a very interesting thought. I wonder if it would work?" Grimmjow was getting very tired of Bach's comments that made no sense.

"The Hell do you mean?"

"You two are very bonded." Bach said evenly. "I wonder what would happen if you chose to leave one another."

Grimmjow was reminded of his words to Halibel just last night. The King had a point. He couldn't really entertain the thought of leaving Halibel. She didn't look offended by his proposition, but he suddenly felt guilty for suggesting it.

"You're right. Halibel and I are a team." He turned back to the King. "It's why you could never break us."

"So then you would go with her, or make her stay a prisoner."

"She's her own person, she can decide for herself. But none of this matters because Ichigo's not going to break either."

"Fine." the King rose from his chair. "Oh, I brought you this." He pulled a board from his robes, a bag with it. Grimmjow recognized the checkered board as a game Aizen had taught them in order to learn strategy. Chess. "To pass the time."

He didn't say thank you, but he couldn't deny they desperately needed a new form of entertainment. He'd finished the Hobbit the week earlier.

When the King made his exit, they both left the board untouched long enough to consider it defiance before opening the bag and setting up the pieces.

Halibel won, Grimmjow didn't really expect any other outcome. They played twenty nine games before Ichigo came back. The game was as good as anything to pass the time each day, to distract Grimmjow in particular from Ichigo's prolonged absence.

It had been five days. Ichigo didn't even seem to have the energy to cry this time. He was just handed off to Grimmjow who took him to the couch and sat with him. Halibel came to their side and looked him over. Ichigo never spoke.

"He's got nothing left." she whispered to Grimmjow. "Just pain."

"Don't say that." he hissed back. "He'll be okay."

But it was a long time before Ichigo made any sign of being aware of them. He took a grip on Grimmjow's shirt and shifted his head but still didn't speak.

"It's the drugs." He whispered at some point. Grimmjow almost felt relieved. If he was so out of it from drugs, then it would pass.

"Do you want to lay down?"

He shook his head. "Can we stay like this?"

"Yeah." The three sat in silent fellowship. Even when Ichigo fell asleep Grimmjow kept hold of him, tight against his chest.

* * *

Grimmjow woke when Ichigo went rigid in his arms followed by a hot spew that ran down his chest.

"Shit." he heard the teen muttered before he himself put together what had happened. Ichigo had puked on him and was currently trying to roll off of him to continue.

"Crap." Grimmjow hauled him up and to the bathroom. He got him propped against the toilet and let him continue while he pulled off his shirt before the vomit could soak through to his skin. It was on his pants too. He discarded these as well and hurried to wash the couch down before stains soaked in. He doubted the quincy guards would be interested in cleaning that up.

"Sorry." Ichigo croaked from the door way.

"Are you alright?"

He nodded weakly. "I'm going to brush my teeth."

He turned back into the bathroom, Grimmjow finished cleaning and glanced to Halibel who was giving him an amused look.

"You think this is funny?" Then he stopped, realizing he was still only in his boxers. "Shit."

"Don't mind me." She teased. He returned to the bathroom to grab his dirty clothes before changing into to clean ones but caught Ichigo swaying where he stood.

"Spit that out." He instructed. Ichigo obeyed, half missing the sink when he spit his toothpaste out.

"Shit you're making a mess."

"Sorry." Grimmjow dropped the clothes to take hold of Ichigo. The teen was attempting to put the toothbrush back in it's holder.

"Time for bed."

"No." Ichigo protested. "I want to shower."

"Fine I'll get you a bath, just sit there." He sat him on the toilet lid and took the dirty clothes out before the stunk up the bathroom. He was heading to his room to change for a second time when he heard the shower turn on.

"Dammit Ichigo, you'll fall over."

Ichigo was standing under the falling water, still covered by his boxers, but basking in the rain of water that beaded along his skin. He had a hand against the wall to support himself. For a moment, Grimmjow just watched him, struck by the sight of knotted orange hair plastered to his face, pale skin washing clean under rivulets of water. But most of all that sense of relief that washed though Ichigo, as he cleaned away the last torturous days.

Or at least he tried.

Grimmjow recognized the way his shoulders bunched, his head bowed. He was trying to hold it back, trying to let the water be his outlet but it wasn't enough. His other hand came up to cover his face.

"Ichigo..."

He moved to catch him when he started to sink to the tub floor. The sudden onslaught of hot water blinded Grimmjow for a second, but he got his arms around Ichigo's slim waist and held him from behind. The other slowly turned in the embrace, until his face was pressed into Grimmjow's shoulder.

Water bombarded them both, muffling the sound of tears. But they were short this time. Just a hint of the pain trapped inside of the teen. He leaned back a bit, to let the shower wash the tears from his face, before opening his eyes and looking up to Grimmjow. Blue locks were longer than Ichigo expected when wet, changing his features, no less attractive, just different. They watched each other for a long time, the despair in Ichigo slowly changing to something else.

"I need you." it was the only warning Grimmjow got before the hold Ichigo had on him tightened and he pushed up, locking their lips together.

The crisp mint freshness was still in his mouth. Neither wasted time with chaste kisses. They were in each others mouths from first contact. The supportive hand Grimmjow had around Ichigo moved to his head, pulling him deeper into him. Cascading water still ran between them, bringing their attention to every inch of their flesh. Their naked torsos touched; each time they breathed it brought the contact closer and their skin yearned for more. Ichigo half jumped but Grimmjow was already making the move and hoisted him up around his hips, leaning his back into the shower tile. Ichigo's legs locked firmly around him, and now he had the height advantage, delving down into Grimmjow's mouth.

He wanted to feel so much at once, his hands ran over Grimmjow's arms and shoulders until he took a firmer grasp and rocked against him. Grimmjow groaned into his mouth and their lips parted, both of them aware of the friction between them in another area.

"Fuck." Grimmjow dropped his head onto Ichigo's chest. "We can't do this."

"I'm okay." Ichigo insisted.

"You just got back from a session." his brain argued despite what his body wanted.

"Grimmjow I want this." He used one hand to draw Grimmjow's head back, make him look him in the eyes. "Take us to the bedroom."

Grimmjow stared at him hard, every inch of him fighting his animal urges. But the look in brown eyes was one of confidence, certainty and his grip shifted, he secured Ichigo around his lower back and took them from the shower into the bedroom.

They landed as one on the sheets, groaning together when their impact made them connect harder. Grimmjow leaned down and kissed Ichigo a little harder than in the shower, hand on either side of him supported his body. He was barely taller than Ichigo who had shot up a few inches since their last meeting, and he'd been here alot longer, and lost proportionally about the same amount of weight. Though neither had lost their muscle tone, their bodies still lean, neither could Grimmjow really be classified as the bigger of the two anymore. His frame was equally thin. But it didn't matter to either of them. This wasn't really about overpowering sexual attraction, it was about an overpowering connection that required closeness, intimacy.

Ichigo bucked up into him when he moved to his neck. He groaned and Ichigo responded by repeating the action. At this rate they would get to the finale still wearing their underwear.

"Fuck, Ichigo!" He gave up on his ministration when the teen grabbed his back tight, on either side of his hollow hole and held their hips together, grinding against him. Yep, it was already too late. Grimmjow gave up his attempts to do this properly and dropped to his elbows, lowering his hips into Ichigo's. With his participation, they didn't last long, the dual friction took them both over quickly. He dropped beside Ichigo so as not to blanket him with his weight. They panted for a long time in silence and stillness before Ichigo rolled on his side and moved in for another kiss.

Ichigo shuddered when Grimmjow began running his hands up and down his sides. Every touch seemed to leave a trail of fire in its wake. Ichigo didn't think he'd ever felt so hypersensitive, not even in a battle. This was so different, so good. He wanted to feel this forever, feel the heat of Grimmjow's body and know the other wanted him as much as he wanted him. He twisted himself closer to Grimmjow when the espdada's hands half massaged his lower back, switching between tight holds and teasing finger tips. Then his hand moved to his back and pulled him tighter, bringing their bodies flush, so he could deepen the kiss but also so their torso's touched, they felt each other's breaths and shivers.

Ichigo realized he'd just been holding Grimmjow back as hard as possible so he shifted his hand over shower slicked skin, feeling the edge of his hollow hole. Grimmjow stiffened, he took a break from their kiss and Ichigo's fingers continued to trail along until they hit rough flesh. Grimmjow went rigid and hissed out in pain.

"Shit, what is that?" Ichigo pulled his hand away.

"It's nothing."

But he saw the change in Grimmjow's features and eased back from him.

"Grimmjow are you hurt?"

"No. It's just an old scar. I guess it's sensitive."

"Oh."

"I'm fine."

"Okay." they locked lips again, a bit less heated now, Grimmjow was slow to relax again, and Ichigo tried to make it better, but his hands kept meeting scarred flesh, he didn't know what might hurt Grimmjow. So he lowered his hand to his boxers, running a teasing finger along the top edge.

Grimmjow pulled away again, pain creased through his features and he let go of Ichigo entirely.

"Grimmjow?" The teen rolled off the bed and turn on the lights. Grimmjow seemed just as alarmed by the reaction, sitting up on the bed and taking a gasping breath. "What is it?"

"I don't know." His hand hovered over his chest, as if he felt a pain he couldn't identify. Ichigo's eyes were now taking in all the scars on Grimmjow's body. Though he himself had suffered greatly, he had never been strung up and tortured in the same way as the two espada.

"Shit, Grimmjow, I never realized." He had seen the scars on his wrists and arms, but he had rarely seen Grimmjow without his shirt on since he'd been here. His eyes trailed down to his legs that were just as scarred. He looked to where his hand hand been and saw the terrible scar that rose at an angle from under the hem of his shorts, above the crease in his hip.

"What did that?"

"An electric rod."

Ichigo's hand moved to the hem but his wrist was caught in a vice grip. "Grimmjow how far down does it go?"

"I'm still functional if that's what your asking."

"It's not." Ichigo pried his hand free. "It's okay, Grimmjow." He dropped his hand to his thigh but Grimmjow instantly pushed it off.

"Just..." he stood and moved away. "don't."

Ichigo rose slowly, watching the change in Grimmjow's breathing, he threw the door open and left the room.

"Grimmjow." Ichigo followed him out, Grimmjow couldn't go far but he slammed the door shut on the bathroom before Ichigo could reach him.

"Shit."

* * *

"Grimmjow. I didn't expect you after that whole shower scene."

The door to the bathroom had been open the whole time, he'd known she wouldn't let that go but he looked to her now as he dropped on her bed an watched her where she sat at the desk and anger seemed to win out.

"Yes you did. You knew I couldn't go through with it."

"I did."

"How?"

Now the smug hint in her eyes left. She straightened in her seat.

"You know why. You always say you're okay, you're unaffected but you are."

"I can handle a little pain in my scars."

"I'm not talking about that." She looked meaningfully to his hip, now covered with a change of clothes.

"Halibel he didn't burn anything essential." He found himself defending for the second time. "Just my leg."

"I know." She intoned like he was an idiot. "but the day he did that he also-"

"Sorry. Halibel I'm such an idiot." He dropped his head into his hands. "I keep saying I'm unaffected and I never realized how that must sound to you. After what happened to you, what I saw, what I couldn't stop- please don't think it doesn't haunt me all the time."

Her hand startled him, drawing his face back up to her. "I don't _want_ you to feel guilty about that. I know you didn't mean it like that when you said you were fine."

"Still, I am sorry."

"And I told you to stop apologizing. I think you need to have this conversation with Ichigo."

"How? It's going to be pretty awkward."

"Of course it is. But do you really want them to come take him away again while things are unresolved between you two?"

"No."

"Good. Then I'll stay in here and give you your privacy since you seem to have trouble closing doors." the smile was back in her eyes and he scowled, closing her door tight behind him.

He was on the couch, laying on his stomach with his head in his elbow. He'd never looked more like a child.

"Ichigo."

He sat up at once.

"Grimmjow, I'm sorry."

The espada balked a little a this, coming around to sit next to him. "I thought it was me who screwed up."

"You didn't screw up, it was me, I was moving too fast."

"Whoa, Ichigo, I was okay with that. I _want_ that. But last night, I just...I guess I kind of froze."

"It's fine."

"Why are you so understanding?"

"You want me to be mad?"

"Most people would be. I haven't even explained myself." Ichigo quieted. He seemed to consider something before asking a question.

"Is it about Halibel?"

"Yes. Wait, not like that. I mean, she's my kin."

"You can't stop thinking about what they did to her?"

Grimmjow shook his head. "It's always there, in the back of my mind."

"That's terrible."

"All I can think is if that's how it is for me, how does she cope?" Ichigo had no answer.

"I don't know how to explain what happened last night. What we were doing had nothing to do with what happened to her."

"That scar does though, does it?"

Grimmjow covered the spot with his hand, even though it was concealed under clothing. "Yeah."

"Tell me." It wasn't a demand, just a request, to help him understand. So, Grimmjow did. Once he started, he could see the room, feel the burning shocks that tore through him. But more than anything, he could see the face of that man, rubbing the rod over his flesh as if it was doing something else. The scar he left in his hip was from sexual desire, not for torture. He'd had lust in his eyes, and it had terrified the sixth espada. But then he'd turned that on Halibel.

Ichigo was visibly shaken by what was recounted. Grimmjow was also surprised how much he was affected by reliving the moment. He glanced to Halibel's door to make sure she wasn't where she could hear them.

"Thank you." Ichigo breathed shakily at the end. "And I'm so sorry that happened to her- to both of you."

"You'll never be as sorry as me, Kid." he rose and retrieved the bottle of liquor. "So what do you say we try again?"

He took a long slug and handed the bottle to the teen who followed him over to the table. He took a drink too and pressed himself into Grimmjow.

"No."

"No?" The other questioned, confused by Ichigo's conflicting stance and words.

"Let's hold off, on the serious part okay? I just want to stay close to you until they come again."

"You don't trust me now?"

"I don't trust myself now. And it's just not right. Neither of us really know what we're doing." "I do, Ichigo I want this."

"You think that now but-"

"But what? What do you think is going to change?"

"Anything. Everything. If that's not okay with you, I understand."

He waited, tense against him. Grimmjow ground his molars together but relented. "So no sex?"

"Not now."

"I won't flip out again."

"But I might. I'm exhausted Grimmjow, all the time."

This, he could accept. "Fair enough." they each took another swig before engaging again. With the knowledge this was not to going to escalate, they took their time to just enjoy one another. Grimmjow hoisted Ichigo onto the table and leaned into him, their tongues melding slowly, intimately without the fever of earlier. By the time they got to the couch, the tiredness in Ichigo was already clear. Grimmjow picked him up and got him into the bedroom. They rolled together under the sheets. Hearts were still pounding, but they quickly found peace in one another's company and fell asleep.

* * *

They were eating breakfast when the soldiers came for Ichigo. Grimmjow woke up some time later, a cut above his eye had created quite the slew of blood that ran into his hair. He couldn't stand without help from Halibel.

"You know fighting won't help. They'll take him anyway." "I know." But it wasn't in his nature to just give up. He sat on the couch with a throbbing head ache but the door opened again and he knew from the swell of power without turning it was the King.

He just stood and watched Grimmjow, until the espada was so unnerved he spoke.

"What?"

"I'm deciding."

"Deciding what?"

"How far to let this go."

Blue eyes narrowed. He had long suspected the King watched them in here but he had forgotten that in the heat of the moment with Ichigo.

"He will be undergoing the final stages of his reeducation soon, and you will see him disappear."

Grimmjow stood. "You're going to take his mind now?"

"Yes. This will be the last session in the chair. His quincy powers are completely dominant over his others. His hollow powers are all but washed away, which is for the best. But he still maintains the power of all three aspects of his soul. Zangetsu will stitch himself together as a different entity and be more powerful than what you can imagine. But his mind remains his. So now I must take that too."

"And you don't need me to comfort him any more if you want to break his mind."

"Exactly. I believe that breaking you, would be as effective as breaking him."

Grimmjow took a step back. "You couldn't break me before, so you won't break me now."

Cold hands had him, he could never escape that speed. The King leaned close and whispered in his ear, "You broke so badly you don't even remember it happening." Grimmjow couldn't control his startled breath.

"You're lying."

"You couldn't cope with what happened to you, so hid it way and lied to yourself. And now you're this: this pathetic, sick in the head creature I've kept for my own amusement and study." He let him go and backed up. "_That_ is why Ichigo won't let you get any closer. Because he knows the truth, and he doesn't want to take advantage of someone so...damaged."

His words, his menace, his- _honesty_ strangled Grimmjow into silence. He watched the King leave, feeling everything in him shake. But not from anger.

* * *

**_Fewf, first sexual scene, don't think it's exactly my area, lol. This story is way out there for me, it got ooc and is a very different direction making Ichigo and Grimmjow a couple but I thought I'd try it. Not sure how I feel about it but I am looking forward to getting the rest of this fic published because there are some other things going on in this story that I do love. Hope you are enjoying my experiments in creative writing, haha, it's an experience for sure, lol._**

**_Riza._**


	8. Chapter 8

The final process ended quickly. Ichigo felt it happen, felt the one last surge of quincy power win out and he arched in his seat. Deep in his soul he saw Zangetsu's face, drenched in rain. Even his hollow self was screaming to him.

But they were muted. Silenced. And he lost sight of them.

"Son?"

"Don't call me that." He was barely conscious, head dropped forward, but he mustered this last resistance.

"But that's who you will be, very soon. My son, in every way that counts- my heir to the Vandenreich throne, and the son of the woman I loved."

"My father is Isshin Kurosaki."

"And he has not come for you. I rescued you from them, you will see soon enough. And then we will conquer the zero squad and the soul king together. It is the time of the quincy, Ichigo, and it is time for you to be your true self."

He undid the straps and pulled him up.

"Now, shall I take you to say good bye to Grimmjow?"

* * *

They stood in the kitchen for a long time. Ichigo wasn't quite so spent as the process had be shorter and his body already close to the final change. So he was able to stand on his own and hold Grimmjow back. But the silence between them was drowning. Neither knew what the King had said to the other, but they knew everything was going to change now. And Grimmjow couldn't quite hide the edge of anger in him. Eventually it was Ichigo who pulled back and looked up at the espada.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." He lied. As angry as he might be, he still seemed intent on protecting Ichigo.

"Just say it. I can see you're upset."

Grimmjow watched him. "He says you know what's wrong with me."

"Oh."

Grimmjow shut his eyes, Ichigo watched the ripple in the muscles of his face. He was trying to contain himself.

"Let's sit down." Ichigo led them to the couches. He looked to the closed door on the other side of the common area.

"She's in her room." Grimmjow explained.

"She's in there alot these days. When I'm around, at least."

"I guess she's giving us our privacy."

"And when I'm not here?"

"She comes out more. We play chess." Ichigo shut his eyes.

"What is it?"

"I'm terrified, Grimmjow. I'm terrified of what's about to happen to me, and I'm terrified that if I tell you the truth now, I'll lose you too."

"He did break me, didn't he?"

"Yes." The word was just a whisper. Grimmjow gripped his arm tight.

"How do you know?"

"Because there's something very wrong with you Grimmjow."

"You're killing me, kid, just say it."

"Please."

"What?"

"Please wait."

"Wait for what?"

"I don't know. I just...he's going to try to brainwash me now. And if I start to lose my mind-"

"If you tell me what's wrong, you think I'm going to lose my mind?"

"Yes, Grimmjow, I do."

"FUCK, Ichigo! I need to know!"

"What's wrong?" his head shot up to the door.

"Halibel, will you fucking tell me what he's talking about?"

Ichigo glanced back at her, pain deepened his expression. Grimmjow growled. "So you two are keeping secrets together now? Great."

"Trust me, we're not." Ichigo sighed, turning back to him. "But if she agrees with me, then I know even more certainly that I can't tell you."

"He's right, Grimmjow, just let it go."

"Halibel, please just stop this. Just tell me."

Ichigo rose. He picked up the book that was on the coffee table and handed it to Grimmjow. "I know you're upset, but I think he's going to come for me soon. And before I lose myself, I just want peace like we had before. Can we all just sit here and be together one last time? Can you read to us?"

Every fibre in him wanted to fight this out, to dig until he got the answers he wanted. But those pleading eyes were more than he could handle, so he took book and he sat, and Ichigo leaned into him. Halibel took her spot on the other couch, and his deep voice carried them from their turmoil and chaos to a non-existent realm, where fear and tension were not their own, where characters overcame impossible odds, and good triumphed over evil.

And then the King came. And he took Ichigo away for the last time.

* * *

"What was that?" Grimmjow stood when the ceiling shook. Even under layers of quincy spells, he felt the unrestrained burst of power wash through the room. It was Ichigo. "Shit, what's he doing to him?"

Grimmjow had been waiting on edge ever since the King came, pacing back and forth in the building tension, but now Halibel stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Grimmjow." He turned to her.

"What is it?"

"Just promise me you'll stay strong."

"What?"

"Whatever happens, hang onto Ichigo, he'll stand by you."

"Stop saying shit like that, Halibel. Come on." He grabbed her hand when the ceiling shook again and pulled her after him to the door. "I can't let them do this to him, and it could be out best chance of escape."

"I know." She dropped his hand and took the lead. "We're getting out of here, Grimmjow."

The next wave of power sent a crack down the wall. The pieces of their chess game rattled and fell, rolling onto the floor. Books tumbled from the shelf. Then another crack of power and the whole door frame split.

They were out in seconds. Debris was already distracting their guards, they escaped down hallways and up a flight of stairs. Grimmjow followed her through the medical ward, back toward the cell where they'd been held for so long. Then they came upon the disastrous scene. The King had his hands locked around Ichigo's head, but even he seemed to be struggling to withstand this power. Wave after wave of blue light came from the boy.

He was screaming.

"ICHIGO!" Grimmjow fought his way past the flood of power. The King looked back at him and released Ichigo. The teen continued to writhe where he was restrained, eyes unfocussed, terrible screams ripping from him.

"It's too late." The King warned him. "His mind broke easier than I could have hoped."

"I don't believe you."

"His spirit is not his own anymore."

"Fuck that!"

He tried to run to the teen but the King caught him, holding him in place so he was forced to watch.

"Is it a familiar sight, Grimmjow?" The word echoed into his ear over the roar of power. He watched Ichigo in his throes of agony, but the vision became blurred with another. He saw naked tan flesh writhing there, felt the explosive spray of water strike him, the room, destroying everything it touched.

"What is that?" he whispered but the king heard.

"Do you remember?"

"I..."

"I told you I had already broken you."

Ichigo lurched again. Blood ran freely from his wrist from all his efforts to break free.

"No." He shoved back, though he couldn't dislodge. "Ichigo!"

"It's over. Remember, Grimmjow. Remember what happened in this room."

Pain lanced through his head. He couldn't escape memories of water, of her screams. That time and place merged with this one. He saw Ichigo and Halibel all in one, strapped in that chair and screaming.

"Stop."

"Never."

"STOP!" The King let him go. Let him drop to his knees. They splashed in water from another time. He felt the bone deep chill of it all over, and yet he was dry, and that chill was something else, something deeper and more painful.

"Grimmjow." She knelt next to him, her hand on his shoulder all that kept him from being consumed by the dread he felt growing in him.

"Halibel?"

"Don't let him do this to you, not now. Ichigo needs you."

The room dried. He saw nothing but Ichigo screaming in that chair, and her hand in his. "ICHIGO!" The straps that had held the teen prisoner all this time, all those agonizing days, snapped. The chair that had kept him in his hell fell to pieces under the weight of his power. But fogged eyes widened, and they locked on Grimmjow.

"No." He heard the King above them, and he knew Ichigo was not gone.

"Ichigo!" He called again, rising.

The boy was aflame with blue light. It nearly choked Grimmjow but some restraint in Ichigo kept the full force from striking him.

"Ichigo stop." the king commanded, drawing his sword. Worry was etched in his features. He'd lost control of his Frankestein.

"Fuck you." the teen held out his palm. The broken blade that had been hung on the wall for weeks, ripped from its purchase and into his grasp. Blue fire forged it together again, and he held up Zangetsu to Bach's blade. "You lose."

Steel met steel and the resulting wave of energy crashed over Grimmjow. He was floored. The room was disintegrating around them from their combined powers. But Ichigo couldn't last, not like this. He couldn't maintain this level of output when his body was so weakened.

"You'll pay for defying me." the King sneered when he had the teen on his knees.

"The Fuck he will." Red hot cero light burned through the atmosphere. All those layers of quincy spells that had sealed his espada powers had been blown away by this storm. The King had lost sight of him in his battle with Ichigo, so Grimmjow took the opportunity to catch him off guard.

He didn't wait to see what damage was done, if any, he just got his arms under Ichigo.

"RUN!" Halibel screamed at him. He did. He left that room. He left the King and he never let go of the boy on fire. The energy was escaping him uncontrolled now, no longer enough to harm Grimmjow but a drain on Ichigo's system.

"Calm down." Grimmjow instructed him.

"I'm trying." But he jolted as another surge escaped him. He lost his hold on Zangetsu but Grimmjow caught the sword before it fell.

The fortress began to crumbled around them.

Grimmjow didn't remember the day they were brought here, all he knew was that they were in a facility in the depths of the Ice Palace that was the domain of the quincies. But Halibel knew where to go, so he followed after, slicing through anything that tried to stop him, but for the most part, their escape was masked by falling stone.

It took him a while to realize there were other forces at work, and this was no all Ichigo's doing. When they rose up another flight of stairs, he felt the wash of Soul Reaper power.

"They've come." He whispered.

"Who?" Ichigo was struggling to remain conscious against him.

"You're friends, Ichigo. They're here." He felt hands tighten against him, and this spurred him to run faster.

Another wave told him the King had been engaged. They had a real chance of escape.

And then they were out. After months of dreaming of this moment, Grimmjow stood barefoot on icy stone, winter cold striking him from all sides, the endless wail of a wind storm tore at them all, he clutched Ichigo tighter.

"Grimmjow." Halibel warned. He looked up.

"Shit." He hadn't really thought this through. He stood at the top of the ice stair, but at the bottom was a row of Soul Reapers.

"Stop!" Ichigo turned at the sharp voice.

"R-renji?"

The lieutenant stood at the bottom of the stair, shock over taking his features as the ice shattered at Grimmjow's back and battles raged inside.

"Ichigo!" He and the other members of the sixth with him pelted up the step to them.

"It's okay." The teen said when he saw the look he shot Grimmjow. "He's with me."

Ichgio shifted and Grimmjow let him stand, though he couldn't stay up without support. Renji was looking him over, the change in his spirit and body unmistakeable. He reached a hand up to his face.

"We tried to get here soon."

"Just tell me you can get us home." Ichigo breathed.

"Right." He gave Grimmjow another glance but in the turmoil seemed ready to let him take care of Ichigo.

"You men, create a portal back to Soul Society."

There was another crack, a great sheet of ice fell from the roof and shattered behind them.

"Renji, who's fighting in there?" Ichigo asked.

"It doesn't matter."

"Renji, who?"

"Your father."

An explosion made them all stumble. Grimmjow hiked Ichigo up again when the front of the palace began to cave and they all had to run.

"This way!" Renji instructed. He got a hand around Grimmjow's shoulder and pulled espada and boy through the forming gateway and the ice world disappeared behind them.

* * *

Warm light washed on them when they stepped onto the hill. Ichigo fought his way out of Grimmjow's hold, and as unsteady as he was grabbed Renji by the front of his robes.

"We have to go back!"

"We just got you out of there!" "You said my dad was fighting! The whole place was coming down."

"He wasn't alone, Ichigo. He'll be fine. Other captain went with him. We got you, we brought you back, end of story. Now let's get you checked out."

Ichigo stood adamantly staring at where they'd come from.

"Give me my sword, Grimmjow."

"Ichigo, you're not okay." He didn't withhold the sword though, it wasn't his decision to make, but he did catch Ichigo's arm. "Kid, think about this."

Ichigo held Zangetsu, staring at the blade that glowed blue, betraying the change in him. Then he brought his eyes up to the one person who understood what he'd been through.

"I heard you calling me. I was losing myself, but I heard your voice."

The hand on his shoulder moved to his hair. "I told you he wouldn't win, couldn't break you."

"Yeah. But what if he gets them, my father, my friends?"

"Then we'll fight, but after you get better. He still has Pantera after all, and Tiburon. We'll all go face him when we're ready, right Halibel?"

Ichigo watched him turn and look back at her over his shoulder. Dread consumed him when he saw the looks in the soul reapers' faces.

"No, Grimmjow, it's not okay." She said to him.

"Why? What is it, Halibel?"

"The Soul Reapers. They're going to separate us."

He glanced to them, saw all their eyes fixed on him. "Ichigo?"

"Grimmjow it's okay. Renji, we're fine, can we just go now?"

But the lieutenant was staring just as hard at the espada. "What's wrong with him?"

"Not here, Renji." Ichigo urged.

"Remember what I said, Grimmjow. You have Ichigo." Halibel continued.

"What are you saying?" He let go of Ichigo and stepped toward her, his hand closing over her arm. "Halibel please."

"I'm sorry, Grimmjow." She looked over his shoulder to Renji and he followed her gaze.

"Ichigo," the lieutenant started, "who the Hell is he talking to?"

* * *

**_Fwef, so I've been waiting for this 'reveal' for a long time and I absolutely have to give credit to _****Inominatenoname ****_for figuring this out from the very fist chapter! Good on you! I feel that several of you caught onto the twist as well but I hope it was a surprise for some. More explanation of course in the next chapter if things are still a little unclear._**

**_Also I appreciate the very inciteful reviews. I definitely think my characters have changed because I went into this trying to create romance rather than letting it come about more organically. I just spent 150 pages building a romance between Ichigo and Grimmjow in another fic that I may publish in a bit and I think it came out way better. But I am still enjoying this one so I hope you stick around for more!_**

**_Riza._**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Three hours earlier- Ichigo's final reeducation**_

_"You couldn't tell him." The King had Ichigo strapped back in the chair, but none of the instruments were hooked into him. Ichigo wasn't sure how this was going to work; he wondered if it was going to be solely spiritual or if the King would use his own malice and might to change him, but he seemed to be patient enough before starting to have this conversation._

_"Are you going to, then?" Ichigo asked back. "Is that why you let us get close? So you can rip him away when I need him most?"_

_"Ah, you have come to understand me well. Yes, I do plan to tell Grimmjow that Halibel died a long time ago, when they were in this room, actually. And that everything that was so horrible that he thinks happened to her since that day, actually happened to him."_

_Ichigo shut his eyes, imagining it all, the things Grimmjow had told him thinking they had happened to another. The sympathy and guilt he felt for her. How could he ever cope, knowing it had actually happened to him, and knowing that she was gone?_

_"You know he'll lose his mind." _

_"Probably." Ichigo admitted._

_"There's no probably about it. You know he created her- or rather didn't let her go as a survival mechanism. The things we did to him, Ichigo... you think this chair was hell, well for him, it was only the beginning."_

_"Why? Why torture him so much?"_

_"Because he resisted so fiercely. They both did. That's why she died, in this chair, actually, in another one." He looked behind him. There was just a broken metal panel in the floor there now, but Ichigo could at once imagine another chair like this one, the two facing one another. It's how they had always tortured them, Grimmjow said. So the two of them had been reeducated together, facing one another, and he had watcher her die._

_"She rebelled so strongly her spirit nearly destroyed this whole room when it left her body. I thought it had killed him too, but he woke up, and he still saw her. And I knew I had failed. I had lost two incredibly valuable assets to my army, I was enraged at her, and him, but he was the only one left to take it out on." _

_"So you had him raped?"_

_"It was never part of my plans. Driscoll acted on his own. He did it to them both, right before she died. I think that's when Grimmjow started to snap. But then she was gone and it was just him left to suffer alone. I found out what Driscoll was doing after Halibel's death. But when I saw how Grimmjow transferred it onto her, I became intrigued. I couldn't help myself. Months of torture were erased, he simply suppress what had already happened to him and when it kept happening after his break, he shifted the worst of it to her."_

_"You're sick."_

_"Don't tell me it doesn't intrigue you too. Living with him must have been quite the experience."_

_Ichigo swallowed, refusing to delve into Grimmjow's psyche with this monster._

_"I must say the chess was the most entertaining. She almost always won. Because she's smarter and stronger."_

_"She's not real."_

_"But she is to him. He never went into his room once, did he? He actually thought there were three rooms, and one was hers. If he'd gone to his bedroom, some part of  
him would have had to accept that it was just the two of you."_

_It was true. Grimmjow had slept on the couch every night since his arrival._

_"You kept him, all this time, just because he was interesting?"_

_"I guess a part of me still wanted to make him one of my soldiers. But now that I have you, that hardly matters. I kept him for you, Ichigo. And now I'll use him to take everything from you." He shifted and raised his hands to Ichigo's temples."But let's see how much progress we can make on our own first."_

* * *

**Present**

Summer breeze rustled the dry grass at their feet. Espada and boy stood in deathly silence on the hill, ringed by soldiers in black. Grimmjow looked between Renji and Ichigo for a long time. The lieutenant stepped forward and put a hand on Ichigo's shoulder.

"Come with me."

"No." He pulled free and went to Grimmjow. "Renji can you take us to the Fourth please, together."

"Ichigo, what's going on?" the teen took Grimmjow's hand, it was shaking. He glanced to Halibel next to him and back to the boy. "Why can't he see her?"

"Grimmjow we need to talk about this somewhere else."

"ICHIGO!" He grabbed him by both shoulders. "What the Fuck is going on?! She's right there!"

"Grimmjow, she's not." He could barely get the words out. His sorrow was so deep; a moment he had dreaded for so long was finally happening.

"Yes she is!" His fingers dug painfully into Ichigo.

"Let him go." Renji warned.

"I'm fine." Ichigo insisted. "Grimmjow please calm down."

"Fine." He let him go. "I don't know what the fuck is going on, but Halibel is right there." He looked to her. "What the Hell are they playing at?"

"Grimmjow, just go with them. Look at them: one more move and their going to knock you out." He glanced around at them. All their hands rested on their hilts.

"But you said they would try to separate us. What did you mean?"

"They can't, not right now. It's fine, just go with Ichigo."

"Grimmjow." Ichigo took his arm. They were both trembling, just having escaped Hell, Ichigo in particular on the verge of collapse. "Come with me."

"Only if you promise to tell me the truth."

"I do. I will. Now please."

Halibel nodded to him that it was alright. He relented, giving in to Ichigo's tug.

"Okay."

* * *

Ichigo hugged his sweater closer, watching through the one sided glass as Grimmjow paced around his room and talked to Halibel. A hand came up to rest on his shoulder.

"Ichigo, you're shaking." Renji had stuck close. He'd been shocked by how thin and frail the teen had become.

"He's still exhausted." Unohana was on his other side. "He needs to rest, and let me check him over."

"I will. But I have to help Grimmjow." He'd given them the quickest summary of what he knew; he didn't want to leave Grimmjow alone with his manifested personality for too long. He explained how he thought Halibel knew what she was, if that made any sense at all. Unohana said it did.

"His spiritual pressure is still hollow." She said, making notes faster than Ichigo could read. "The King did indeed fail to convert him as he did you." Ichigo stiffened. "I'm sorry." she looked him, "I am confident it can be undone."

"Really?"

"Yes, Ichigo. He did not remove your original powers, he simply drew your innate quincy abilities to the surface. You are not used to them, and may not have the same strength as before, but we will be able to help you."

"Thank you. Now please, what can you tell me about Grimmjow?"

"At this stage, very little from what you don't already know. A combination of physical, mental and spiritual trauma caused his mind to split, and create Halibel. She was a real person, and so that has sculpted how he has divided his mind and his emotions."

"His emotions?"

"It is difficult to say. I have never met Grimmjow before today. But already I sense what Bach did to him has shaken everything that was him. And we have no idea what Aizen did to the esapda to make them the way they were. I doubt he felt many of these emotions before his _reeducation_. Some he has retained in his primary personality, some he has transferred to Halibel. But in this case, two halves will no longer make a whole, Ichigo, even if we can reintegrate his second personality. The man who you met two years ago is likely gone for good."

Ichigo absorbed this. He had no idea what he felt, it wasn't like he wanted Grimmjow to become the animal he had been back then, but then did this mean the compassion he'd gained had only arisen from pain and suffering? That when he broke, human emotion was what came out?

"Ichigo?" He had zoned out, his eyes tracking Grimmjow as he moved through the room. There was no point dwelling on who Grimmjow had been, this is who he was now. And now is when he needed him.

"Can I go in?"

"Alright."

They all stepped in. Unoahna for her medical knowledge, Renji, for his strength. There was a good chance Grimmjow might turn violent.

"Let me." Ichigo asked them, moving over to Grimmjow by himself. The other waited back a respectful distance.

"Ichigo." He watched the teen, who's face was set tensely. "Is it true?"

They sat in chairs facing one another. Ichigo didn't have to say it. Grimmjow's hands came up to his face, sliding into his hair and clenching tight. "But I see her. I hear her, feel her."

"I know."

"She got us out of there."

"No. You did."

"Ichigo this can't be happening."

"I'm so sorry."

"But if she's not here, then where is she?"

"You don't remember?" He had thought once he was made aware of his alter, he would remember. But it didn't seem to be the case.

"No. Ichigo tell me."

"Grimmjow, she's dead."

Hands dropped from his hair. Blue eyes rose to meet his. "She can't be."

"I'm sorry but she is."

But he shook his head and stood. They watched him focus on an invisible form before him.

"Is it true?"

"Yes." she whispered, her soft hand rising up and trace his face, hold his jaw. "I'm sorry."

"You can't be dead."

"I am."

"You're right here."

"I know." She dropped her hand. He bowed his head.

"How?" he asked the floor. "What happened?"

"The King." Ichigo moved around to him, though the other refused to make eye contact. "He took you to the reeducation chamber. Both of you."

"When?"

"I'm not sure, but..." he knew Grimmjow had not made all the connection yet, not realized just what this meant, "It's been months."

"Months? That's impossible."

"They tortured you Grimmjow, and then they put you in those chairs. Everything up to that point was real. But he used the machines on her too much. She resisted too much. And her spirit broke."

Grimmjow gasped. Seeing the water, feeling the cold power break over him. But it was only a hint of a memory. It was unclear, but it was enough to tell him Ichigo spoke the truth.

"She died in that room. So everything after...everything they did to her, I imagined?"

Ichigo shut his eyes. The cold truth hit Grimmjow hard. He backed up from Ichigo into the bed, half stumbling, he grabbed the side, a pressure growing in his chest he couldn't control. "No..."

"Grimm-"

"Ichigo no." He denied the truth presented to him. This, this was too much.

"She is you, Grimmjow."

He shook his head. "No. It can't be."

"Ichigo." Unohana warned. Grimmjow's spiritual pressure was rippling through the room. Renji was visibly affected, an espada's strength was nothing to take lightly. His breathing was growing more frantic, more rapid. He stared at her, the woman his every sense told him was right before him.

"Halibel please." he begged the spectre to be real, to deny this truth.

"You always thought I was stronger, I could handle anything. So everything they did to you, that you couldn't handle, happened to me instead."

He broke. He lost his footing, his hold on the bed, he just gave up and fell to his knees. He saw the truth in her, and in Ichigo. The pain of her loss alone was overwhelming, but the pain of knowing what this all meant, was mind breaking.

He screamed.

Arms fell around him like he'd done for the teen so many times. He didn't reach back, he couldn't do anything but scream his rage, his pain, until everything burst out, sobs wracked him for the first he ever remembered. Ichigo endured the vice grip that took hold of him now, hands pulled at his shoulders, his arms his chest as everything in him desperately wanted to find relief, find peace.

But it was gone. Everything that had held him together was shattered. And so no matter how hard he held Ichigo, or Ichigo held him back, there was only a nightmare to swallow him.

* * *

**_Super dark stuff going on, I know! I hope this chapter clears up any conclusion from the last and Xajora, I hope you do go back and re-read it-and anyone else who wants to becuase I spent a long time carefully considering word choice in places to make this twist work, especially between the conversation between Ichigo and Bach. Anyway, I am glad some of your were surprised, I've been waiting so long to reveal it!_**

**_Thanks for all your comments,_**

**_Riza_**


	10. Chapter 10

Slender fingers trailed through orange locks as the teen held his face and cried into his hands. Rukia continued to stroke his hair soothingly as he explained to her the last weeks, months of torture. But it was not for himself that he cried. He cried, because he'd just seen Grimmjow's world shatter, and he didn't know how to make that better.

"The whole time he thought she was there." He spoke between his hands. "And I went along with it. I probably made it worse. I poured her tea, I asked him about her, I even talked to her. Rukia I watched him read a book and put it down on the table and move to the other couch and ask her was she was reading! I should have told him from the start."

"It wouldn't have been any easier on him, Ichigo."

"He played chess with her." He just continued. "He fought with her. She locked herself in the room one time."

"It was how he coped, with his emotions." Ichigo had been honest with her about his undefined relationship with Grimmjow.

"I know. She was the part of him that was strong, and always thinking, calculating, like a warrior. She was his grief, his anxiety, his fear. But she wasn't just emotions. She was part of his personality. She is. So when he comforted me, when he held me, when we kissed, it wasn't Grimmjow. It was half of him. I took advantage of him." "I don't know about that Ichigo. He may have disassociated, but he doesn't think he _is_ Halibel, does he? I mean, you said you talked to her?"

"Not like that no. He never split into her, he just saw her all the time. Other than books he read, it was all just in his head. He would sit at the chess board and move pieces, but her side never changed. When we ate, there were only ever two meals. I made a mistake and poured her tea once. It just sat there on the table and I was terrified it would make him realize she wasn't there."

"Ichigo, listen to me. You have done nothing wrong. You're not a psychologist. If you'd told him while he was there, still in the enemy's clutches, it would have been so much worse. At least now he can get help."

His breaths had calmed. Swollen eyes came up to hers. "The things he told me they did to her, Rukia. Now he has to face that they happened to him."

"Does he remember now?"

"No, at least, I don't think so. But I'm not sure what she'll tell him. She...she remembers it all, I think. But what happens now? Will Unohana make him remember all that, or make him forget her? How does it work?"

"I don't know, Ichigo. But she will help him. And she'll help you too."

"I know. I'm not worried about me. But Rukia, I am terrified for Grimmjow."

* * *

"It was three months in. You were sick, really sick. They'd done alot to us, but your body just couldn't handle it. It was some sort of infection, you were out of it for days. I held you in my arms. And you swore to me you would get stronger and save us."

Grimmjow listened to her, their fingers intertwined. He sat with his back to the bed, crouched on the floor where it was harder for the Soul Reapers to watch him through that window. He knew very well they thought he was crazy. And now, he guessed he knew he was. But that didn't mean he couldn't still see her, just as clearly as before. But now she was telling him why. Telling him about how he'd come to be like this. He didn't remember it, as she spoke. He didn't see it happening and there were no flashing images before him. Just her, eyes tender, voice soft.

"We both knew it would be you who died first. I think it was your pride, not as a warrior, but as a man, that made you say things like that. It probably pissed the real me off, but I never said anything. I just smiled down on you and kept holding you. And sometimes, I let you hold me. But that was when it started. We were in the cell, and you were barely conscious. You'd been having hallucination and your fever was so high. But you woke up to something so awful. You woke up to Driscoll, hurting me in the worst way possible. You could barely move, but you did. You dragged yourself off that floor and you tried to stop him. You tried to pull him from me. You couldn't. You thought he was going to kill you. But you never thought he'd do it to you too. He said, if it really bothered you, you could take my place."

Grimmjow gripped his knee tight with his other hand. "Oh shit."

"You couldn't believe it was happening. And when it was happening, you couldn't believe that such pain was possible. He pushed you face into the ground, your mask scraped over the floor. You kept your eyes open, you kept them on me. And we stared at each other the whole time. You felt like your manhood was taken, your pride- everything that always characterized you. And then he cleaned us both up and put our clothes back on and left. And you held me even though you were in just as much pain. And you cried, Grimmjow. And so did I. And you said it again. You promised you would save me from all of this."

"But I couldn't."

"No. It was only a day later that I died."

"But how, Halibel? If I was the one who was sick, and weaker, why did _you_ die?"

"It was because you were sick. The King put us in those chairs and hooked up all the machines. But you were so weak. You heard him say something about it, he altered your dose because he doubted you could survive. What he didn't understand, is the dose he intended to use, was enough to kill you even when you were healthy. And that was the dose he used on me."

"Halibel." He choked on her name. His sorrow was too great. "I didn't even- I never said good bye. I never told you that you were the only reason I was able to hold on." tears streaked down his face. "I thought you were with me this whole time. But you died there in front of me and I never even acknowledged the fact. And now I can't. Now I can never go back and make it right. I can never say I love you, I'm grateful, I'm sorry. Because I never said any of that until it was you- until you were just in my head."

Twin tear met at his chin and dripped between them. He looked to their hands. "For all the powers in this world, there is nothing that can make this right." He whispered.

"No there isn't. But don't think she didn't know all of that before she died- the real me. You told me once, that you learned how to share strength with someone. Well that wasn't with a memory. That was with the real Halibel. She knew when you said you would save her, when you rolled over even in the worst of your pain and wrapped your arms around her- she knew everything you could ever wish to say to her."

"But you don't really know that, because you're not really her."

"No. I know that because I'm you. And you're the one who endured the last months of her life with her."

"Tell me how it happened. Tell me about the moment."

"It's hard, because you lost consciousness. Bach gave her far more than her body could handle. I think we were the test- the build up to Ichigo. You were only there for hours, but the amount of foreign energy he pushed into you was beyond excruciating. It was even worse than Driscoll.

'You lost yourself in that chair. I don't know if it happened before or after she died. I think after. I think you wanted to die so badly, you needed to escape that pain, that you were ready. But then she died, still screaming. She somehow fought to the last, somehow managed to have a final outburst of power. Maybe she knew she was going to die, maybe it was to save you, we'll never know. But her power erupted from her body at the moment of her death. It broke your chair, it stopped the process, everything was struck with water, including you and you passed out.

'When you woke up, she wad dead but I was here. You saw me in the bed right next to you in the medical ward, and you said you thought I had died, and that you couldn't have kept going if I had. And the King watched it all. He watched you tell thin air that the only thing that kept you going was me.

'So he played along. If he hadn't, I'm not sure if I would have vanished, or if I'd be like I am now. But he made it worse. He prodded at the issue but never enough to tip you off."

"And you protected me."

"I did. When I was afraid you would figure it out, I'd tell you to do something or to act differently, so you wouldn't find out."

Grimmjow nodded to this. He remembered his fight with Ichigo, when he'd admitted to knowing what was wrong. Halibel had agreed it was best if he didn't know.

"He broke me." He said finally. "He broke me worse than I even knew was possible."

"I'm afraid so."

"When I was with Ichigo, then where were you?"

"I _am _you Grimmjow."

"You know what I mean."

"You didn't need me when you had him. When you could protect someone, care for them like you always wanted to for me."

"So he's just my replacement for you?"

"He was something new. Something real."

"But you didn't want me to be with him. Because you knew he knew the truth."

"Yes."

He sighed long. "I don't get it. If you are me, why can't I remember the things you've told me? Why couldn't I figure out what was wrong?"

"Because I made it so you couldn't."

"But that doesn't make sense. How do I have two...personalities in me?"

"Because that was the only way you could survive."

"Why? Why did I have to survive? Why couldn't I have just died with you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know the answer to that any more than you do. Now." She let go of his hand. "You have company." He followed her gaze back to the door. When he glimpsed the Soul Reaper woman he sat back, not particularly wanting to talk to her.

"Grimmjow." She came around the bed to him. "I just wanted to check on you."

"I'm fine." He muttered wiping the last traces of tears from his face.

He heard her sigh and he looked up to her. "You were talking to Halibel?"

He was ready to be angry, but she wasn't being condescending, or mocking. So he just nodded. She knelt down to talk to him eye level.

"Does she remember?"

"Yes."

"Did you she tell you?"

"Some things."

"Do you remember them now?"

He shook his head. "I still see her with me through it all. I still see it happening to her."

"And how does she feel about all of this? Is she okay with you knowing the truth?"

"I guess."

"Then that is good."

He didn't see how, so he didn't answer. "Where is Kurosaki?"

"I am running some tests to see how we can undo what Bach did to him."

"Oh."

"He wants to see you when I'm done."

"Oh."

"Do you want to see him?"

"Yeah."

"Grimmjow, are you angry with him?"

"I don't know."

"Alright. Let me know if you need anything." She left. He continued to sit there, and waited for Ichigo to come.

* * *

"Grimmjow?" Ichigo moved around the bed. The espada was still sitting on the floor, now his head was tucked into his knees. But he looked up at the teen's voice.

"Ichigo."

"Hey." He sat before him. "How are you?"

He looked at him and then laughed, the edge of darkness in it disturbed Ichigo. "I'm fucking great, Ichigo. How are you?"

He didn't answer, the hostility in Grimmjow was unmistakable. "So you hate me then?"

Blue eyes shifted to the side. His back molars clenched tight. "No." Surprise showed in Ichigo's face. "I get it. I get why you went along with it. But I still can't help but feel..."

"Betrayed?"

He nodded.

"I'm sorry Grimmjow."

"I know you are." But he still didn't make eyes contact.

"What can I do?"

"Tell me something."

"Anything."

"When you first saw me, in that cell, what did you see?"

Ichigo froze. Grimmjow turned back to face him, his look hard, challenging. He wouldn't let Ichigo out of this and the teen knew it.

"I saw you."

"And?"

"I saw that you had just be raped."

His jaw set. He nodded and silence held for about a second before he broke and dropped his face into his knees. Strained noises escaped him. Everything in him rebelled against the tears. But he shook, and his breath hissed between clenched teeth before it choked completely.

Ichigo reached for him, slowly, carefully. His body was tense, he wasn't willing to open up so Ichigo move to his side and just put and arm over his shoulders. The smallest part of Grimmjow gave in, and he whispered through his knees to Ichigo. "This can't be happening."

"I'm here, Grimmjow. You were there for me through everything. I'm going to be here for you now."

He sniffed hard and nodded. Full tears didn't come, he wouldn't let them. But he also couldn't erase her words, his memories of what happened to her. He saw that rod on her body, this his hands. He saw him climax and heard him moan. He saw her face down on the ground or hanging limp in chains.

And now he knew that had all been done to him.

"GHAAA!" He screamed. Anger was more natural than sorrow; anger was an outlet he knew. But when he finished screaming, and the anger had been expelled, those foreign emotions were all that were left in him.

"Ichigo..." he looked up to him, new tears spilling over, "my hip..." he remembered waking in the medical ward, thinking he'd taken a bad beating, "he dislocated my hip."

Brown eyes shut in the deepest of pain, for him, for seeing someone he cared for suffer so greatly. And all that horror, all that grief struck the last espada, and he gave into it, and into Ichigo's waiting arms.

* * *

One breath after another, Grimmjow willed his body to come back under his control. Cold water trickled over scar tissue as it dripped from the cloth Ichigo dabbed over his face. He felt sick. His skin heated, his eyes swollen and mouth cottony from tears he was not used to shedding. Everything shook, from knees to finger tips, and he sat as Ichigo had so many times, on the lid of the toilet, while he was taken care of.

"You're doing better." Ichigo soothed, resting the cold cloth on the back of his neck so the cool could spread to him.

"I could use a drink." He responded.

"I'll get you some water." he turned but Grimmjow caught his wrist with a shaking hand.

"No, I mean a real drink."

"Oh. I'm not sure it's the best idea."

"I don't see how it could make anything worse."

Ichio sighed and lifted the cloth up. "Why don't you shower? It might help."

Grimmjow held his gaze for a moment but then nodded. He did still feel overheated and he hadn't washed up since their escape.

"Fine." Ichigo ran the shower for him and gave him privacy. He flinched under the hot water and turned it to cold. A long breath escaped him as it numbed his skin. It was near painful, but it was more calming than the oppressive heat and swell of steam. He stepped out of the water when he was shivering, and stood before the mirror untouched by fog. So many scars littered his flesh, and he wondered which belonged to him and which to Halibel. Which did he really remember and which had he fantasized away?

He pulled on the grey sweat pants and tshirt Ichigo had laid out for him and returned to the rest of the room. Ichigo was sitting on the bed waiting for him. He made to get up, but Grimmjow put a hand on his shoulder. They watched one another in silence, before Ichigo understood_, _took his hand and pulled him down. They straightened out on the bed, Grimmjow pulled the sheets over them and they just lay there. Neither found sleep easily. It would take more than just their closeness now, to bring them peace, maybe they would never find it again. Grimmjow didn't know how to deal with what was happening to him, what _had_ happened to him. But he knew he at least didn't have to deal with it alone.

* * *

_**Man I am having issues with this story, I don't think it was my best decision, I am feeling really uncomfortable with the sexual scenes (I cut this chapter short because I just couldn't figure out if I could post the next scene...) It's just not me I guess, I will try to keep going but I actually wouldn't mind handing off what I have to someone else who wants to adopt it. In any case I'll keep it going for now. I definitely will not be the next 50 Shades, haha!**_

_**Riza**_


	11. Chapter 11

Ichigo woke in a vice grip. Girmmjow was still asleep but every muscle in him was tensed, his breathing harsh at his back. The room was dark but for the bathroom light that still glowed behind the shut door. Ichigo tried to go back to sleep, but he couldn't stop thinking about the state of the man holding him. He remembered that night they had almost had sex. He remembered what he'd wanted and needed, and how he had made himself forget what had happened to the espada. And then Grimmjow had reacted so badly, and he hadn't even understood why.

It had been stupid of him for so many reasons. It was unfair to Grimmjow in his state, and it was dangerous. He didn't know how he would convince Grimmjow to get an exam, but he would have to be checked for infections for his own health, and for Ichigo's if they ever made it to that stage.

He wasn't even sure how this had happened. Some part of him had just guessed the natural path of his life was to end up with Orihime. But if that was what should have happened, wouldn't it already? He would be eighteen in a matter of a week. He'd never been with anyone. So he didn't know what he should feel for who. But Grimmjow had rescued him. Or at least half of him had. It had been Halibel to insist he be freed, but it was Grimmjow who'd whispered to him he was safe, and who held him. He didn't know if part of Grimmjow cared for him, or all of him.

And how could he ask Grimmjow that question?

He started when arms clenched around him and Grimmjow woke sitting up sharply, half dragging Ichigo with him. He freed the teen and sat breathing hard on the bed, scanning the room with glassy eyes.

"We're in Soul Society." Ichigo reminded him.

"Right." He ran a hand over his face and looked to the chair next to the bed.

"Is she here?"

He just nodded and rubbed his eyes. He sat in what looked like defeat, perhaps he'd hoped it would all go away with sleep, or maybe with Ichigo next to him.

"I need some air."

Ichigo didn't know if he was allowed to take Grimmjow from the ward. He wasn't even really sure who had okayed his care in the first place. He just guessed everyone was so busy with the Vandenreich they didn't care. He handed Grimmjow a sweater and led him through the quiet halls of the Fourth. They stepped into the yard, the night fairly silent, lamp light shimmering in only a few windows on the hill. There was a hint of fall in the air, but it was still warm enough for them. Moonlight washed over them, Grimmjow looked to it and Ichigo guessed he was imagining Hueco Mundo.

"What do I do now, Ichigo?" he asked abruptly.

"You get better."

"But what does that mean?" His eyes were brilliant in the ghost light of the moon, hard as steel even when he was so hurt. "Why can't she stay?"

"Don't you know? Because right now, you are literally lying to yourself."

He considered this. "So if I can remember everything, she'll go away, and I'll be me again?"

"I don't know, Girmmjow."

"What if she's all that's keeping me from losing it completely?"

"Again, I don't know." He nodded, accepting that there was no easy answer. He seemed very calm, given the circumstances.

His eyes turned back to the moon. "Ichigo, did you tell anyone, about what they did to me?"

"I haven't."

"Good."

"Grimmjow-"

"Why does it matter? No one needs to know."

"Unohana does."

He shook his head. "No."

"If nothing else..." how did he say this? Did espada know anything about sexual health? He stepped closer to him and tried to meet his eyes, but they were adamantly fixed anywhere but his face.

"You just need to be checked out in general. You could have infections, or injuries that need treating."

Some sort of understanding must have passed over him because he dropped his chin and regarded the teen.

"Right."

"Good. Then in the morning, we'll talk to her." He just nodded, but he looked down to Ichigo's hand and pulled his own from his sweater pocket. They wordlessly laced their fingers together, each as skeletal as the other, both their wrists rough from scars. Grimmjow's eyes trailed their way back up to Ichigo's face, noting prominent collar bones, bruises still fresh where needles had been pushed into his neck. He studied high cheekbones he'd never noticed when they'd been enemies. His skin was pale, his hair too long and it hung shaggy over his ears. And then he met his eyes, and knew Ichigo had just finished the same study of him, at the moment, they probably couldn't win a fight against a low level soul reaper even if they combined their strength. They were shadows of their former selves.

The realization of just how much they'd both suffered settled heavily on them. They both broke eye contact, but they also both moved to hold the other. Grimmjow leaned his maskless cheek against Ichigo's head and took a long breath. Just days ago he had held Ichigo like this, feeling like he was the one who was strong, he was the one who could save them. How delusional he'd been. The whole time he thought he was caring for Ichigo, the other had been struggling every day to maintain the facade of Halibel's existence. He'd suffered in that chair and still come back and pretended to see and hear a woman long dead.

"Don't think that way." He jolted and pulled back from Ichigo. "Sorry." Halibel apologized. He glanced at Ichigo who was wondering what had happened. "Oh come on, Grimmjow, you're not going to stop talking to me just because you know what I am. He's watched you have a one sided conversation for months.

"Fine." He said to his other half. He tried not to notice how Ichigo's shoulders sagged when he understood.

"Tell him what you were just thinking and he'll tell you the truth."

"No."

"Grimmjow, what's she saying?" He turned to the teen but shook his head. "Please?"

"I just...all that time you were suffering you also had to pretend she was real so I didn't snap." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"So..." Ichigo worked out pretty quickly what was bothering him. "Grimmjow, you were the only thing that kept me sane." He instantly regretted his choice of words but the other didn't take offence so he continued. "You could have chosen to keep holding your grudge, to ignore me and hate me, but you did the opposite. You fucking held me when I cried, Grimmjow!"

His voice had risen, he calmed himself down but emotions still ran high. "I was never like that before. I cried when my mom died, and then after that, hardly ever. But every day I just felt like I had nothing in me any more, nothing to hold myself together. Until you did it for me."

"Fuck."

"What?"

"When did we become such sentimental bastards?"

Ichigo smiled, Grimmjow did too, and raised his hand to Ichigo's face. The teen waited, wanting to move in, but wanting to do what was right for Grimmjow. So they ended up just staring at one another for a long moment before Grimmjow made his move, put a testing kiss on Ichigo's lips. But it didn't last, he pulled away and sat on the pathways steps, head dropped into hands.

"It's okay." Ichigo sat next to him.

"Is it? Because it doesn't feel that way to me."

"I mean...shit, Grimmjow, I don't know what I mean, just that, I want to help you."

"Can we just stay out here for a while?"

"Sure."

They remained where they were, silent, but together, under the cold light of moon and stars above.

* * *

They returned inside just before dawn but a commotion outside their door caused them to follow running soul reapers down the hall to the emergency ward.

"My father!" Ichigo said, struck at once by the familiar power. Zangetsu rattled in his chest, the power so akin to him was perhaps recalling his soul reaper side. He shuddered and Grimmjow put an arm around him. "He's in bad shape." He felt it, but he also saw it. Bloodied compresses dropped to the floor around the table where bodies worked and shielded their sight of the man.

"He held out for a long time." Grimmjow said next to him. They watched from a distance, Ichigo knowing there was nothing he could do to help his father. Unohana was taking charge, she would do everything to save him.

"We have another one!" They moved quickly to allow a second gurney to pass and push into a curtained area. Ichigo had just glimpsed enough to know it was Urahara. He looked just as bad.

"Was anyone else unaccounted for?" Grimmjow asked.

"No, they were the last. Everyone's back now."

"Good."

Grimmjow didn't have much reason to care about the Soul Reapers, but he didn't want Ichigo to go rushing back to the ice palace in an attempt to save anyone.

"I have to make a phone call."

Grimmjow let Ichigo from his hold. The teen stepped just down the hall and pulled his soul pager from his robes. A short conversation took place, he hung up after whispering a thank you to Orihime.

"She's staying with my family, along with my friends. They've been keeping them safe while the others tried to get to me." He explained when he returned.

"So they were trying to rescue you all along?"

"Yeah. Unohana said it took a long time to breach the walls of that world."

"Makes sense."

"You don't have to stay." Ichigo said, turning back to the now shut door of the operating room. But the broken man remained adamantly next to him.

"Yes I do."

* * *

Isshin was in a coma. Urahara had not been expected to live out the night but pulled through, and was equally down and out. Ichigo stood over his father's form, machines breathing for him, body covered in bandages, several soaked red. "I'm sorry." he spoke to the man. Grimmjow was just outside, he'd given him this moment of privacy. "I should never have doubted you." He took his hand, it was stiff and cold. He dropped it. "I thought about you so much, when Bach was messing with my head, saying shit about mom. But you- you had to have known all this time and you never told me. What I went through! It could have been avoided if I'd been prepared, if I'd known!"

"Ichigo!" Grimmjow had pushed through the door, hearing his raised voice. "What's wrong?"

"Everything, Grimmjow." He left his father's bedside. "He could have stopped this before it happened."

"He could?"

"Probably. There's so much he hasn't told me and everything Bach did to me was because he said he loved my mother." His hands had clenched into fists. "The Head Captain probably knew, but now he's dead, and now my father is unreachable."

Grimmjow didn't know what to say so he said nothing. That was perhaps why Ichigo found such comfort in him. He was honest, and he didn't mince words. He took his hand.

"Come on, we need to talk to Unohana today."

He immediately felt Grimmjow start to withdraw but he tightened his grip. "Sorry Grimmjow, but since my father is beyond my help, I have to focus on you."

Ichigo knew this did nothing to ease Grimmjow's discomfort, but he yielded in the face of Ichigo's need.

They left the intensive care unit for Unohana's personal office.

* * *

It wasn't really the best time. She'd been occupied with two complicated cases most of the night, but Ichigo did not want to let this go any longer and when he saw her pleasant face he knew she would be willing to help.

"I was hoping you could give Grimmjow a physical exam."

"I had hoped that to." She said, not having been able to give him one since his arrival due to his shocking revelation.

"Do you think we could do it now?"

"Yes of course. May I ask that we do this in private?" She looked to Ichigo. Ichigo looked back at Grimmjow. His grip on his hand tightened; Unohana noticed. "I am only worried that you might withhold answers to questions for fear of what Ichigo might think."

"Oh." Grimmjow said slowly thinking it over but his eyes trailed to another point in the room.

"She has a point." Halibel said. "It's not like you even know the answers. What I tell you, you might not want him to know."

"Yeah." Grimmjow said to Unohana and slid his hand from Ichigo's.

"It's standard procedure." She informed the teen.

"Wait, just, I need to make sure Grimmjow tells you something." He watched Grimmjow stiffen. "Sorry, but I know you don't want to say it."

"Of course I fucking don't."

"Well will you?"

Tension grew between them. Unohana watched them carefully. "Grimmjow," she began softly, putting a hand lightly against his arm. "Would it perhaps be easier, if Ichigo told me while you went into the exam room?" He considered before nodding. "Alright, I will be in shortly."

He pushed through to the next room. She turned back to Ichigo. The teen didn't seem to have any easier time saying it, it shocked him how difficult it was to utter aloud.

"During their torture, they uh...r-raped Grimmjow."

Despite he calm features, there was no way to hide the ripple in her eyes, the ghost of emotion. She took Ichigo's hand and got him to sit.

"I understand how difficult this might be for you, but it is very important that I know as much as possible. And I also understand Grimmjow might not remember everything."

"It's true. I don't know how much Halibel has said to him, if anything, but Bach told me how it started. Actually, Grimmjow told me too, but he told me about what happened to Halibel."

"I see."

"There was a man at least four or five months ago, it happened several times and then stopped. And then another, six weeks after my capture. He uh..he dislocated Grimmjow's hip."

He sniffed, hard, not expecting the tears to well up. Unohana gave him a tissue. "It's quite alright Ichigo. But since the two of you seem very close, I do have to ask just how close you've become."

His face burned, he couldn't look at her and hid behind the tissue and tears. "Not that close, not yet. Can you test him for that stuff?"

"Certainly, and I will. Until then please take precautions, the best being abstinence."

"I don't think Grimmjow's anywhere near ready for that, but yeah, I understand."

"Good."

"Wait, Unohana, do you think it's wrong?"

"What?"

"Us. I mean, I'm not even sure what to call us but we're close. But he's sick, and an espada, and-"

"It's between the two of you, Ichigo. I or no one else, have a place to judge you. As for his mental state, I have yet to assess him properly. But the easiest answer, is if you feel like you are doing something wrong, not because someone else said it, but because it's in your heart, then don't do it. On the other hand, if your heart tells you that this is right, well then, you have your answer. Now, I will perform my exam, it may take some time, would you like to wait in here?"

"Please. And if he needs me, I'll be here."

"Thank you, Ichigo."

* * *

A ripple of dark energy flowed through the room. Ichigo rose before the door opened and didn't have to be asked before he followed her in.

He almost stopped short at the sight. Grimmjow was on the edge of an exam table, naked save his boxers and a blanket over his shoulders, head bowed and hands holding the table's edge so tight it looked like it was dented around his fingers. But it was the contracted stomach muscles, the heaves of his chest and the heart wrenching sobs that tore from him that shocked the teen so much. He moved at once to put his arms around his companion.

"What is it?" he breathed, Grimmjow's knees shook on either side of his hips, his face pressed hard into his shoulder. He couldn't speak for his pain so Unohana did for him.

"I believe Halibel shared some secrets with him he was shocked to discover."

"About what we discussed?"

She nodded. They'd been in here for an hour, had this been all they'd discussed? Had they even gotten around to the fact that Grimmjow's mind had snapped in two? Grimmjow's arms tightened on him, he was practically suffocating himself against Ichigo, he started to feel a deeper dread. "Oh no, did he remember?"

"I don't know, but it certainly sounds like it."

"You shouldn't have kept digging." Halibel put a hand on Grimmjow's shaking shoulder. He only held Ichigo back tighter. "That week, when Driscoll took us, and I died, and then you were barely recovered before he came for you again- that was probably the worst thing you could have remembered."

Even though Ichigo couldn't see his eyes, he felt him tense. "Is Halibel talking to you?"

The slightest nod made him look around in paranoia, even though he knew she wasn't actually there.

"Is she making you remember?"

"I'm not making him do anything." She defended. "He's the one determined to make himself go insane."

"I ALREADY HAVE!" Grimmjow screamed, pulling away from Ichigo and staring at her. "You are proof of that."

"I'm proof that you are strong enough to survive anything. All of that should have driven you over the edge, but with me, you carried on, you didn't end up a drooling mess. In fact, with me, you're stronger, because that pain- you shouldn't have been able to stand in that pain but you convinced yourself it was just a beating, you'd had worse."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying alone, you're not strong enough to handle those memories. And I won't let you remember anything else, Grimmjow."

"I thought you said you couldn't be with me forever."

"Maybe not forever, but you're definitely not ready now." Her harsh tones softened. "Grimmjow, you just found out I'm not real, that I'm dead. You don't _want_ to let me go. Because once that happens, you really have lost Halibel for good."

He watched her back, the words devastating, true. He bowed his head again.

"Grimmjow?" Ichigo asked. He waited, standing before him.

"She's right." he whispered. "I'm not strong enough."

"Why? What is it? Did you remember something?"

A nod. "It's still not very clear. But I saw the chairs. That pain..."

Ichigo knew it had been far stronger than what the King had put him through; he couldn't imagine enduring that.

"But Driscoll...Ichigo I see his face. I remember it." his hand fell to his stomach, memories clouded his eyes.

Grimmjow saw the medical ward, he felt his body so exhausted, his mind still clouded, numb. But he'd come, smile on face, hand trailing up ankle to thigh on the bed he was strapped to.

Then his cell. Face down on the cement. A hand slid to his stomach, held him tight, pulled him up-

"Grimmjow!" Ichigo had him by the shoulders.

He threw up.

* * *

_**Wow, so thank you all for your support and advice, because of it I was more confident re-working some of the content I had and as a result I think it has made this a better story. I will be continuing it! Thank you all so much for reviewing and helping me out with this!**_

_**Riza**_


	12. Chapter 12

"Try to stop thinking about it." Halibel urged him where he sat on the washroom floor, blanket held tight around him as he shook. "It doesn't do any good."

"I'm going to kill him." He just muttered back to himself. "I'm going to find him and kill him slow."

"Are you? What if you fought and were overpowered and-"

"FUCK, Halibel! We're not prisoners anymore I could handle one Stern Ritter. Why would you even go there?" "Because _you _are afraid of that."

"Screw off."

"You realize you are just fighting with yourself."

He fumed, rising and splashing water in his face. "So what if I am?"

"It just might make them worry." She glanced sideways at the door. Shit. It was hardly sound proof in the exam room washroom. He opened it before they could.

They had heard, it was obvious, but they said nothing.

"Are you okay to continue now?"

He looked at Unohana for a second before another flash of memory crossed his vision: skin and noises. He took a step back into the bathroom.

"Grimmjow..." Ichigo watched him grip the sink and heave again. "Unohana, what can we do?"

They watched his thin, scarred body convulse again. He didn't have much left in him but memories seemed determined to keep him retching.

"I can give him something for his nerves, and the nausea, but for the rest, it will take time, Ichigo. If possible, I would like to finish the exam today so I can treat anything that might be happening in his system."

"Okay." Ichigo approached the bathroom. Grimmjow was just holding the sink now as if it was all that could keep him standing. Ichigo picked up the blanket that had been dropped and moved to the espada's side. "Can you make it back to the bed?" He just nodded and didn't refuse the helping hand Ichigo offered him. He was guided back to the exam bed. Unohana lowered it so his feet weren't off the ground. Ichigo hovered, not sure if he was supposed to leave again but when he started to withdraw, Grimmjow caught his wrist. He sat with him.

The blood tests and scans were the easy part. It was when Unohana began examining his body that Grimmjow resisted. He didn't want to lay down when she asked him to. He didn't want her to look over his bare back, or abdomen, to check scars and ask questions. He went rigid when she tried to examine his hollow hole. Ichigo watched her frown deeply, her hand never touching him, just hovering over, a faint spiritual glow allowed her to assess the damage. Then she backed up, and cast a wider glow around him, pulling out an instrument to take readings of his spiritual pressure.

"Why is she doing that?" Halibel asked him. "She knows you weren't changed in the chair like Ichigo was."

"I don't know."

"Grimmjow, you know she's going to want to look at that other scar." Her eyes cast down to the one that rose above his shorts.

"What?"

"She's going to want to see all of you."

"But it's just a scar."

"Grimmjow?" Unohana had dropped her hands, the glow faded. His own hand had fallen over that sensitive area. "What is it?"

"Nothing." He tried weakly.

"It's from an electric rod." Ichigo supplied, Grimmjow shot him a look of betrayal but he continued. "The same one that burned him on his back, and in his hollow space."

"I'm fucking fine." Grimmjow growled again, sliding off the table.

"Those scars cause you quite a bit of pain, don't they?"

"Nothing I can't handle."

"Here." she went to a cabinet and returned with a jar of a thick cream. "This will help. Perhaps Ichigo could help you with it. I will run these tests and let you know the results."

"Thanks." Ichigo said on the others' behalf. "Here." Ichigo took the jar and snapped off the lid. Grimmjow watched it and him suspiciously.

"I'm okay." He protested.

"Just let me, okay?" He got Grimmjow to lay on his stomach, his body tense, head turned to watch Ichigo's every move. "Grimmjow, try to relax. It's been a stressful morning, I just want to help."

He didn't seem able to relax. He flinched when Icghio rubbed a small amount over a bad scar on his shoulder blade. He shut his eyes when he moved further down his back.

"Grimmjow things are going to get better." Ichigo whispered above him as he worked. "I know it's going to take some time but we're safe now, and we're together." He ran his hand over the six tattoo just next to his hollow hole. "Do you feel any difference?"

"A bit." Grimmjow murmured. Just from putting it on, Ichigo could feel a cool tingle in his finger tips.

"Okay, roll over." Grimmjow shifted onto his back. Ichigo started at an old burn along his collar.

"These are awful Grimmjow." He just whispered, looking down on the many raised patches of skin. That horrible man had held the electric rod against his skin so long it had fried under the contact. The thought of it was sickening and clearly it left Grimmjow in pain when he flinched at another touch.

"Hell." Grimmjow caught his wrist when he tried to treat one along his hollow hole.

"Shit, Grimmjow, I didn't know you were in so much pain."

"Is it the pain or is it the memory?" Halibel said over his shoulder. He ignored her.

"It's just sensitive." he relaxed his grip on Ichigo and the teen continued, though the discomfort in Grimmjow was clear.

He reached lower, toward the worst scar of them all but knowing this would not go over well.

"Don't." Grimmjow warned.

"You said it was making them feel better."

"Just don't, Ichigo."

Ichigo let it go. He wasn't going to push Grimmjow any further than he already had. He gave him his clothes, he got changed, they went to check on Ichigo's dad while they waited for test results. No change. The ate. They waited. Isane came and found them in the yard in the early evening and told them the Captain was waiting for them.

Unohana looked tired. She hadn't stopped for nearly twenty four hours, but on her desk seemed a full report of all the tests she'd run today. She got them to sit and went over the results, giving Grimmjow a cleaner bill of health than either man dared hope. Yes, his immune system wasn't great, it would take more rest and regular eating to erase that, but he had no sexually transmitted infections. They were relieved.

"I will be putting you on a regiment of supplements to get your body back to good health, along with antibiotics to fight some minor infections in your system. But I am afraid for now, that is all I can do."

"What do you mean by that?" Ichigo asked, concerned.

"I simply mean there are several poorly healed bone fractures and tissue damage that at some point should be looked after, but these are busy times. While the war with the Vandenreich continues, I will do all that I can but I can't promise anything. And of course, there is Halibel." She took a breath. "Grimmjow you need help, but I simply do not have the time to devote to your case. And since you have coped better than we could have hoped since discovering her true nature, my best suggestion is to remain under supervision."

"You mean I have to stay locked in that room?"

"No. I was going to suggest you and Ichigo ask the sixth squad if you can stay with them, in particular the lieutenant. I feel that you might benefit from the privacy and restful nature of the Kuchki manor, and I am certain both captain and lieutenant would not mind keeping an eye on you."

"That sounds fair." Ichigo said. Grimmjow said nothing, not really knowing to whom Unohana was referring.

"And Ichigo, I have not forgotten about you."

"I know."

"I know it's getting late, but you need a physical as much as Grimmjow. You've lost a terrible amount of weight. If we could, I would do an exam now and the two of you could start your rehabilitation together."

"Sounds good."

"Alright, then if you would wait here, Grimmjow."

"Yeah." She and Ichigo went to the other room again. Grimmjow sat where Ichigo had that morning. Halibel took Unohana's seat.

"This is good." She said. "You and Ichigo can stay together, and you're going to start getting better."

"Yeah." He whispered back.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, it's just... confusing. One minute I feel like I'm the strong one, taking care of Ichigo, and the next I'm losing it and he's the one holding onto me."

"Well, that's how it should be. Your cases might be a little more extreme than usual, but a relationship goes both ways."

"Is it even a relationship?"

"Yes, whether you label it or not, you two are definitely in a relationship. Besides, if _I_ think you are, then _you_ think you are."

"Right.."

"Just remember that it goes both ways. You're there for each other."

"Just like we were."

"Yes."

"But in the end, I couldn't save you."

"It doesn't mean the same will happen with Ichigo. And besides," She rose from Unohana's seat and bent to face him straight on. "I keep telling you, my death was not your fault. And neither is anything they did to me." Her hand fell over his hip and he shot to his feet, pain scorching down his flesh on the scar he'd told Ichigo to leave alone.

"You're not even real." He muttered his confusion- he always felt her but how could she cause him pain?

"I think it's time you get rid of that scar."

He glared at her, but he knew what she meant. Already he'd noticed the rough tissue softening where Ichigo had put the cream on scars. The spiritual properties of the ointment weren't just soothing them, they were erasing them.

"But you don't want to, do you?" Halibel continued.

"What?"

"Because of your guilt."

"Enough." He sat back down. "I'm not arguing with you anymore."

"I'm just saying, that's all."

"Well don't." They, or he, lapsed into silence but he watched her for a long time. "I still can't believe you're gone." He had not had much time to adjust to the fact. "I didn't know it could feel this bad, to lose someone."

"You never cared about anyone else, until me."

"I guess."

"You will have to let me go someday though."

"How?"

She shrugged. "When you're ready to face what happened."

"Oh."

The door opened, Ichigo and Unohana returned.

"How did it go?" He asked them.

"I'm very positive Ichigo will have a full recovery in time." She informed him. "I will prescribe the same course of action for you both in terms of nutrition and antibiotics. But I would like to take Ichigo through spiritual treatments whenever I can."

"Okay." The teen said.

"The results from both of your spiritual exams will have to be run through the twelfth division, so we will have to wait before that. For now, just rest."

They thanked her and left. Ichigo walked them to the Kuchki manor. Rukia was sitting on the front porch with Renji, she was leaned back in the crook of his arm but jerked away from him when she heard them coming.

"Don't move on our account." Ichigo smiled. She blushed furiously. "Come on, Rukia, it's not like I don't know."

"It's not proper for a Captain to be involved with his lieutenant, so I don't know what you are talking about."

"Oh, right." He said for the sake of anyone who might be listening in. It was no secret that the two had turned to one another after Byakuya's death. They had been friends for years, but tragedy and nearly losing their own lives in that first battle drove them much closer. But it was still not exactly in line with soul society rules, especially since Rukia had moved into the position of Renji's lieutenant, so they did not advertise their relationship.

"Are you two going to stay here?" She asked, rising. "Unohana had sent me a message earlier."

"Yeah, if it's alright."

"Of course." Renji stretched and stood as well and the four moved inside. Renji poured drinks for them all and they knelt around the table in silence.

There was really too much to be said, that no one had the heart to start. Ichigo looked awful, he was a constant reminder of their failure to reach him quickly. Grimmjow had been their enemy, had wounded Rukia terribly. But now he was a broken soul. So it wasn't long before Rukia offered to show them to a room. The manor was traditional in style, but Rukia had arranged a pair of mattresses for Grimmjow and Ichigo, heaped with blankets and pillows to cover their wasted frames. Ichigo thanked her and she slid the door shut behind her. Espada and boy stared the the beds in silence, neither sure what the other wanted. It had been a long, emotional day.

Finally, it was Ichigo who spoke. "If you need space, I understand."

"I think...I might need some time Ichigo." Grimmjow wasn't the best at deciphering his own feelings, but when Ichigo moved from him he caught his wrist, "but not space."

The teen turned back to him, the dark masking his features some, but never those sharp eyes. They didn't kiss, they just moved into one another. A shaky breath escaped the espada and Ichigo knew he was suffering from those memories.

"Do you want to sleep?"

The head pressed into his shoulder nodded. Each mattress was decently sized so he just pulled back the sheets on the nearest one and took Grimmjow's hand to draw him down. He undid his own hoody before reaching to undo the zipper of Grimmjow's. He was placid, just watching Ichigo and letting him remove the sweater.

"Lay down." Ichigo whispered. Grimmjow did, settling on his back, letting out a long breath. The teen drew up the blankets and lay in the crook of his arm, rolling so his right arm hugged across Grimmjow's middle, just like they had lain that first time on the couch.

"Thank you." Grimmjow whispered before shutting his eyes. His breathing calmed. They fell asleep.

* * *

It was a long night, in the end. Grimmjow had slept almost peacefully for the first couple of hours, but after that he woke with a start and nothing short of threw Ichigo from him. Had they been on a raised bed, Ichigo probably would have been injured, but since he only fell a few inches, he was fine, though startled. His own dreams were no picnic.

"Fuck, sorry." Grimmjow said, leaning his head into a hand. "I didn't mean to." "It's okay." Ichigo sat up but didn't get back into the bed.

"I'm fine." Grimmjow urged.

"I can take the other bed."

"Don't."

"Okay." He got back in but Grimmjow remained sitting up for a long time. Weariness eventually pulled Ichigo back under but he was startled awake again by Grimmjow's arms clenching around him. He must have hugged Ichigo against him at some point in the night but now he was crushing him.

"G-Grimmjow!" His strained breath pulled the espada awake. The room shook slightly with a ripple of his power.

"Dammit." He let Ichigo go and rolled from the bed, standing.

"Grimmjow?" "I'm sorry, Kid." He slid the door open and left the room. Ichigo hurried after him but he had stopped on the front step where they had encountered Rukia and Renji earlier that day. He didn't speak, he just sat on the deck's edge and stared down at the grass.

Ichigo sat next to him, watching the ripples in the coy pond, smooth motions of the fish ghosting under the liquid distortion. He tried to calm his own mind down, and not think about what had happened to him, what Bach had said or about his father lying comatose next to Kisuke in the Fourth. And he definitely tried not to think about what happened to Grimmjow. But breaking breaths forced him to face reality and he turned to see Grimmjow shaking. They were quiet tears, but no less pain-filled. The tranquillity of the evening perhaps, prevented the full on violent, angry sobs he'd witnessed earlier. This was just utter sorrow.

Grimmjow's hands were clenched tight over his knees, but Ichigo slid his over top of one. They sat together until tears were spent and silence resumed, and the moon wended over the sky and coy fish danced in lunar-lit harmony.

* * *

_**Thanks for all your thoughts, I am glad I continued as well, we'll see how the rest goes!**_

_**Riza.**_


	13. Chapter 13

Exhaustion plagued them both for days. Grimmjow knew he was inflicting this on Ichigo and tried to move to his own room but the teen refused. They stopped sharing a bed, but he wanted to be there when Grimmjow woke, breathing in air like it was about to run out.

Neither had a great reaction to the antibiotics either, or the protein-rich diet Rukia diligently made them follow. The only rapid improvement were their scars. Ichigo put the cream on Grimmjow every day, and also on his own wrists, and all those marred patches of flesh were starting to look smooth and healthy again.

All but one that Grimmjow wouldn't' let Ichigo go near.

Long days passed with hardly any talk between them, and only longer nights loomed before them. Sitting at the coy pond at night became habit, not that it was brought on by tears now, it was just a peaceful place to try to calm their hearts and minds. But the moment they lay down, together or separate, they made themselves nightmares' prey.

Renji's solution was the same one Grimmjow had come up with long ago: alcohol and plenty of it.

It was hardly healthy, and they didn't mention it to Unohana, but a few drinks before bed allowed them at least an extra hour or two of sleep a night. Ichigo started to get used to the sweet-burning taste left in his mouth as he fell asleep. After one particularly heavy dose, Grimmjow slipped in beside him and wrapped him in a bear hug, falling asleep like that for several hours before he started awake.

Ichigo turned eighteen. He almost forgot but Rukia didn't and they had an appropriately small celebration, just the four of them in the manor, but a feast with many of Rukia's favourite deserts and lots of Renji's sake.

Afterwards, they rolled into bed together, and Grimmjow held him tight, leaning down to kiss him for the first time in what felt like ages. He was fairly drunk, but he also seemed to appreciate that this was a special day for Ichigo, even if he himself wasn't entirely familiar with the concept of a birthday.

Their twisting tongues became a frantic dance in each other's mouths as both gave into light-headed desire. Hands in his hair worked down his back and Ichigo felt Grimmjow tug at the hem of his shirt. The espada pulled back and hauled up on the fabric and Ichigo was forced to raise his arms and let himself be freed. Grimmjow sat back for a moment, he was breathing hard, they both were, excitement made Ichigo's chest flutter, but he worried it was something different in Grimmjow. He sat, never losing sight of blue eyes when he took the bottom of Grimmjow's shirt in his hands.

He removed the garment with a slow exhale. Movements that moments ago had been fast and frantic were now almost slow motion. Even in the dark, that scar was clear, rising above his pants along the ridge of muscle at his hip. Grimmjow caught his look, tried to move in for a kiss to divert his eyes but Ichigo didn't meet him.

"I want to treat it."

Grimmjow pulled back, hand falling over the old wound.

"What? Tonight's not about that."

"Every night will be about it until you can let it go." He reached for the bottle of ointment they'd left near the bed. "Let me." But he set it down, because he couldn't do anything until Grimmjow gave him access to the rest of the scar.

"Ichigo..."

"Trust me."

"I'll take care of it." Grimmjow said quickly, moving to stop his hand.

"No you won't." He reached for the top of his jeans.

"I can't." Grimmjow moved away at once, standing and turning his back.

Sadness filled Ichigo, he rose and closed his arms around him from behind, feeling the tremor in him.

"Is it just the scar?"

"I don't know."

"You don't want me to see you naked?"

A shrug.

"Is it just everything?"

"Ichigo I don't know, I'm sorry."

"Don't—you don't have to apologize. I just want to give you something."

"You have." He shifted and turned in Ichigo's embrace. "Because you haven't left."

"Did you expect me to?"

"You're back with your people, Ichigo, and I'm so messed up and we can't...or I can't-"

"Grimmjow," Ichigo interrupted him. "I am not going to leave you because you don't want to have sex."

The espada shut his eyes. "I do _want _to, Ichigo, but every time I can't shake those feelings."

"So we take time, Grimmjow, it's okay." He moved in closer, their heated bodies pressed tight, but the thrill of sexual excitement had calmed from their bodies, it was just closeness they craved now.

"I will never be able to make up for what you did for me in that place." But he felt Grimmjow shake his head.

"You already have."

* * *

"I feel like I could push you over with my little finger." Renji said to Ichigo as they stood in the training ground of the sixth division watching the squad go through their drills. Grimmjow was back at the manor, he was very quiet after their night and had been sitting by the coy pond all morning, occasionally responding to silent conversation coming from his other side.

"Shut up." Ichigo shot back, but hugged his sweater closer. Rukia had made a trip to the world of the living to get him some clothes and things from his home. He could have gone with her, but he did not want his sisters or even his friends to see him this way, so he'd chosen to remain behind, as well as stick close to his father in case he took a turn for the worse. Now though, he was made even more aware of his state, his clothes hanging from him, belt pulled taught to the last loop. He was also aware of how Renji watched him, guilt still burned in him for not rescuing Ichigo sooner.

"So...how was last night?" All concern for his physical state left him as his face turned bright red and Renji barked out a laugh. "That good, huh?" "Shut up!" Ichigo spun on his heel so as not to have to face the lieutenant, "it didn't go that far."

"I'm surprised."

Ichigo turned back to him slowly, lowering his voice, but knowing the brash lieutenant could be serious when he needed. "Some stuff happened in that place, Renji. Sex just isn't really an option right now."

"Fuck, Ichigo." He gripped the teen by the shoulders, searching his eyes for signs of what he feared, "They didn't-"

"No, Renji, I'm fine."

"But Grimmjow?"

"It's not for me to tell you, but if you know where I'm going with this..."

"Yeah, no, of course," Renji dropped his hold on the boy, "it's a difficult situation." He concluded a bit awkwardly.

"Yeah, it is."

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know. I wasn't, when I was there, not at all. The way I broke down all the time...I just, never imagined myself getting so weak I couldn't hold it together. I never never knew pain could hurt deeper than the surface."

The lieutenant stood before him, still significantly taller even after Ichigo's last two years of growing. He put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze, but not in sympathy or pity, in a warrior embrace.

"You survived, and you're still you, so no matter what you might think, you're strong, Ichigo, don't ever doubt that." He just nodded. "What's the plan, Renji? What are we going to do to beat them?"

"Everything, Ichigio. Everything we can."

* * *

"Here. I brought lunch." Ichigo set down the tray of their carefully measured food a lesser member of the squad was now in charge of preparing for them. Grimmjow looked up to him from where he sat on the porch ledge, also now dressed in clothes from the world of the living. He just moved in a way Ichigo recognized as inviting, and he sat next to him, leaning into the shoulder offered.

"It's really bothering you today, isn't it?"

"I can't imagine a day when it won't." He answered very honestly.

"Oh."

Grimmjow shifted. "I don't me like that. I want to be with you."

"I know. I just don't like seeing you upset."

"I hated seeing you suffering from what the King did." He said with understanding. "Made me feel helpless."

"Well, now I know the feeling." But he sat straighter and turned back to the tray, "but I'm not completely helpless. You really do need to eat, and so do I."

"Yeah, okay."

They had been tracking their weight gain day by day, it was slow but steady, pound by pound they were determined to get their bodies back. When they got strong enough, they had promised each other to start training. For Grimmjow, it had been more than half a year since he'd held a sword, and he was desperate to get back in the game and feel some strength again. They ate in silence, and drank their tea but Grimmjow made no move to return inside. He was a creature of the outdoors, and had been caged for a long time. The weather was nice and he had no desire to spend that time under a roof unless absolutely necessary. So Ichigo sat with him for a while. He knew Halibel was with them. He knew she sat on Grimmjow's other side, his eyes cast that way every now and then.

"What's she been saying?"

He shrugged.

"Has she discussed any more memories?"

"No, she refuses to. She says I can't handle it."

"That's why she exists right? To protect you."

"I guess." He sighed and looked to Ichigo. "I was wondering something yesterday."

"Yeah?"

"Renji told me a birthday is the celebration of the year you were born. You're eighteen."

"Yeah."

"But Renji and Rukia are like me, they're older?"

"Yeah well...I guess I forget that sometimes. How old are you Grimmjow?"

"I don't know. That's what I was trying to figure out. I don't remember anything before being an adhuchas. But that's all jumbled now. I'm not sure if it always was, or if it's after my mind got all messed up. I see my fraccion and the desert, I know we hunted for a long time, but it's just an impression now. I can hardly remember what I looked liked before Aizen."

"And those memories?"

"They're the only thing that are clear any more. I remember when he turned me into an espada. When I was born into this form."

"You're birthday."

He gave a half smile. "I wouldn't call it that, or I'd only be three years old."

Ichigo was a little surprised. "Really?"

He nodded. "Aizen used the Hogyoku to refine us, and he didn't get for a long time."

"Until he ripped it out of Rukia's chest." This brought a confused look to the espada. "It's a long story."

Grimmjow looked at him. "What else are we going to do?"

"Good point." He started to tell of the day of Aizen's betrayal, but kept having to back up in order to give context, and eventually he stopped and started over. He started from the beginning, the very beginning, he started with his mother. Because somehow she was the reason this had all happened to him. And then he told of his father, his sisters, his friends and the day he met Rukia. They lost an afternoon to tales of battles in the Seireitei, of learning his bankai, and rescuing Rukia from her execution. Then he explained how he and Renji had attacked Aizen, and failed so horribly.

He skipped over what Grimmjow knew, not wanting to think about how they had been enemies at that time, how malicious Grimmjow had been, hateful, violent, cruel. He didn't want to consider that the only reason he cared for Grimmjow now was because that part of him had been tortured away.

He explained about losing his powers, and defeating Aizen. Grimmjow seemed perturbed to learn his former master still lived and was imprisoned beneath the First Division. He told of how he'd regained his powers, how they had been once again different, and then he told of his show down with Juha, the day he was stabbed in the throat and hauled back to the Ice World.

"And six weeks later I met you again."

"Six weeks... We were both there and didn't even know it."

"Yeah. Grimmjow, how did you escape that day?"

He shook his head. "I don't know now, because Halibel's the one who got us out of there. She knew what way to go. I thought she was there, with her sword, and used her powers. But I guess that was just a fantasy, there was no one in the halls to stop me to begin with, why would there be? They didn't need to guard a prisoner already locked up. We—I got the jump on a guard. Then I found you."

"You always said it was Halibel who insisted you help me."

"Yeah...but I guess it was just me."

"Strange."

"What?"

"That the part of you protecting yourself, was the part that chose to risk getting caught in order to help me."

He watched Grimmjow process then a strange smile spread over him, an ironic laugh escaped him

"What?"

"I guess that makes sense. The strongest part of me wanted to save you. And the weak part of me knew it was you who would have to save me."

His logic was fairly sound. Ichigo nodded in agreement, smiling as well. "I guess you're right."

"You looked happy."

"I am. Because that means it's all of you that cares about me, in one way or another."

"You were worried it was just part of me that liked you? That's why you were worried back then."

"Yeah."

"Did you think that when I realized what Halibel was, that I would turn back into the man that hated you?"

"I was for a while, but I honestly don't know which part of you is that guy, because I just don't see him anymore."

"Thay guy died before Halibel did." He answered, looking away from Ichigo, honesty always a little too much for him to want to make eye contact. "Before I saw them hurt her, I didn't care about a single other soul in this universe, even my fraccion. I was still angry, but I was angry for someone else... I don't know... things were just different when all you had was the person bleeding next to you in the cell. And then when I met you, she knew you were real, and that she was just in my head. She knew I needed you."

"But it was this part of you that saved me." Ichigo took his hand.

"If you consider it that, then yes, I guess so."

"I do consider it that." He stood. "And you should too. Now come on, we sat here all day, it's time for supper."

* * *

"Mayuri." Unohana looked up from her desk to see her monochrome faced colleague. She was frankly surprised to see him in her division himself. "Is it about Ichigo's spiritual pressure?" "I would like to examine him myself. Run a few scans in the lab with my own equipment."

"What did you find?"

"Your tests were not precise enough, maybe nothing. But that sword of his is a different story." Zangetsu had been in the care of the Twelfth since Ichigo's return. "The world has never seen power like that, but it's unstable. If we could get the boy to harness this side of him-" "I promised him we would return him to his previous state."

"Why? Like this he could be the most powerful being we've ever seen. If we want to win this war, we need this power. It's his, he just has to learn how to balance all those conflicting souls inside of him."

"Soul Reaper and quincy."

"And hollow. The perfect being." "The perfect soldier."

"Exactly."

"We can't ask this of him."

"We can and we will. And if you don't think he will want this too, you don't know the boy at all."

He left. The resounding truth of his words was more deafening than the slamming door.

* * *

**_So much sappiness, ugh, so I had to end it on a foreboding note just to offset that, ;) Much more action/excitement coming up. Thanks for your reviews,_**

**_Riza_**


	14. Chapter 14

"They look so much better." Ichigo commented as he finished putting the cream on Grimmjow's back where he couldn't reach. The scars were so much fainter, smoother. He wasn't sure the marks would ever go away completely, but they wouldn't be so painful, rough and ugly.

"Are you done?"

"Almost." He gave a gentle push and Grimmjow rolled onto his back again. It had been a few days, they were both feeling better for the amount of food in them and their increase in energy, and now evening closed in again, they'd gone for a jog earlier, to try to build up their stamina, and both were already starting to feel the drag of sleep. Burning off some pent up energy had been a very good thing, especially for Grimmjow. He actually looked calm, and that's why Ichigo tried now, to sooth the one most painful scar on his body.

"Shit!" Grimmjow had let his guard down and Ichigo managed to get the cooling cream on the top half of his scar before his hand was smacked away. "Fuck off." Grimmjow turned suddenly angry, starting to get up but Ichigo's other hand came up to his shoulder.

"No you fuck off Grimmjow, there's no reason not to treat this scar too."

He reached again for the spot. "DON'T!"

"WHY?" he stopped, he still would never force anything on Grimmjow, but he would be a little force_ful _if it could help. "Why not? Is it because you think I'll expect you to have sex with me once it's healed?"

"OF COURSE IT IS!" He roared and they both froze. The look on the espada's face showed that he had in no way intended to say that out loud. Maybe Halibel had even had a hand in forcing it out of him, but Ichigo wasn't considering that now. He knew Grimmjow needed time, but he'd thought it was to get past what had happened, not because he sincerely did not want to be with Ichigo. The teen rose.

"Then I'm sorry." He stepped back.

"Ichigo—"

"It's okay, Grimmjow, it's fine if that's what you want." But he was making for the door.

"Ichigo just wait..."

"I just need a second, I'll be back."

He slid the door open and moved outside.

"Fuck." Grimmjow stood up. "Did you make me say that?" He looked to Halibel in the corner but she just shrugged. "Fuck you and all."

"You realize you just told yourself to fuck yourself."

"SHUT UP!" The heat of anger broke over his skin. She visibly stiffened.

"You better calm down."

"THE HELL I DO! You're not even real and you fucking things up with my—"

"Your what, Grimmjow? Your eighteen year old human you sleep with but can't have sex with? What _is _he to you?"

"EVERYTHING! He's fucking everything I have left since you died and broke my effing mind when you went. So don't you fuck up the only thing I have."

"Fine." She moved closer to him. "But it wasn't me who said that, Grimmjow, it was all you. You wanted him to know you cringe at the thought of hands on you down there. You don't want to admit how close that rod came to frying what makes you a man."

"BTICH!"

"GRIMMJOW!" He hadn't noticed that the door was shaking in its frame, that the mattresses had been blasted against one wall, a vase shattered. His spiritual pressure had skyrocketed and was destroying the room around him. Renji hurried to put a stop to it. "Snap out of it." But hands clamping down with restraining force on his bare arms was probably the worst move the recently inducted captain could make. He was shoved away at once and stumbled back to find red light glowing in his face.

"Bastard." Renji ducked the cero and threw himself on the espada. The explosion ripped off to the right, and Grimmjow landed on his back, head smacking hard but not enough to put him out.

"What's wrong with you?" Renji screamed, pinning him from above.

"Get off of me." Grimmjow tried to shift his weight, escape the hold, but Renji significantly outweighed him.

"You've lost it."

"Get off of me!" His breath drew in rapidly, and Renji calmed slightly, no longer seeing anger in him but terror. He had Grimmjow's wrists pinned to the floor on either side of his head.

"Shit." he realized the problem but Grimmjow was out of control, his spirit energy was shaking the whole room, he didn't know how to control him.

"Grimmjow calm down."

He may have a physical advantage, but not a spiritual one, and he was straining to maintain his hold. And when those eyes of such pain flared with liquid blue light, he knew he was in trouble.

"I SAID GET OFF OF ME!" Renji had nothing against the power that struck him. He was sure he would have been thrown clean through the wall if another equally suppressive power hadn't slammed into them both. Renji had been thrown off but hit the floor just a few feet away. He couldn't move for the weight that filled the air and crushed him. He'd felt this enormity of power once before—he'd felt this with Aizen.

"Shit..." he wheezed when he saw even Grimmjow pinned flat. He couldn't move for the pressure, and could only lay there as feet thudded over the floor. Sneakers, jeans...

"Ichigo."

"Grimmjow, stop." The young man ordered, kneeling over the prostrate man who no longer had a choice in the matter.

"Ichigo..." Renji hissed out. The teen turned and seemed only now to realize what he was doing. The captain gasped when the weight on him lifted, but he'd been hit too hard and was quickly losing his battle to stay conscious.

"Oh no..." but Ichigo turned back to Grimmjow seeing him similarly effected. "I'm sorry, I just felt you losing it and I was trying to stop you from going out of control."

His words were lost on the espada who had just hit one too many emotional highs. His statement about sex had been followed by the most raw anger he'd felt in weeks, mixed with the desperation not to lose Ichigo, then the terror that brought on flashbacks. And now this—reduced to a sputtering mess just like Aizen had done to him so many times.

"I'm sorry." Ichigo repeated but Grimmjow flinched from his touch and rolled to one side, back to Ichigo. He was caught between fainting and hurling so he just lay there panting. "Grimmjow?"

"Fuck you."

Ichigo's shoulders slumped.

"Grimmjow." The espada peeled his eyes from the floorboard up to Halibel's face. "Don't be an ass. Besides, I'm worried. Ichigo's powers should not be this strong."

But he couldn't deal with that right now, he didn't want to deal with anything, so he just lay there and let the threatening dark take him.

* * *

"C-captian Unohana?" Renji sat slowly, his head throbbing, she put a steadying hand on his shoulder.

"Careful." He looked around, they were not in the Fourth, but still in the manor.

"What's going on?"

"You and Grimmjow had an argument."

"Right, he went nuts."

"He had a traumatic episode. I am sorry, perhaps I should not have asked you to take on this burden."

Burden. All of Soul Society was suffering, Ichigo most of all, and all he wanted to do was protect the kid. And if he wanted Grimmjow safe, then he'd protect him too.

"It's not a burden." He stated quickly. "It's alright, with me."

"Thank you, Renji. I believe both Ichigo and Grimmjow were rather concerned you would arrest Grimmjow."

"And so were you." He said, understanding now why he was still here and not in the Fourth. They did not want to make this incident public. "You want to help him, don't you?"

"I do not think he poses a threat to us anymore. And he is very important to Ichigo. Yes, I want to help him, but for the moment, this is all we can do."

Renji nodded and swung his legs over the bed, head still spinning. "And at the moment, that's not our biggest problem."

"No. I think everyone in the Seireitei felt Ichigo."

He leaned his head into his hands when he realized he wasn't steady enough to stand. "It feels like I went ten rounds with Captain Zaraki."

"You are lucky you weren't hurt worse."

"Yeah, well I have no illusions, I know I'm just a stopgap captain. I'm still no where near the same league as you and the others. Between Ichigo and Grimmjow, I think they could kill me with just their spiritual pressure alone."

"Indeed, they are very powerful, and it is easy to forget in their current state. Grimmjwo is still as strong as a captain, and Ichigo is—"

"Something else entirely."

"Yes."

"Unohana, that was off the charts. I mean, that was like Head Captain level."

"We can't forget how strong Ichigo became to defeat Aizen."

"But that was in his final stages of Bankai. This was just a flicker of power. It's what that bastard Bach did to him, isn't it?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"What's going to happen?"

"Ichigo is already with Captain Kurotsuchi for some tests."

"What? He is?" She nodded and he glanced at the window. "Crap, how long was I out?"

"Three days." His eyes shot wide, he stared at her.

Yes, Ichigo's powers were out of control.

* * *

"Are you two really not speaking to one another?" Rukia sat next to Grimmjow on the front step. He'd been almost silent for three days, barely moving from this spot and not accepting any apologies from Ichigo.

"It's none of your business."

"It is, while you're staying in my home."

"I thought this was Renji's place."

"No. It belonged to my brother."

"So where is he?"

"Dead. He was killed in Bach's initial strike on Soul Society."

"Oh." He knew a little something about losing family to the Vandenreich. "Sorry."

"Thank you. But why are you doing this now? Surely you understand Ichigo didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know."

"Then why are you so angry?"

"I don't know. I just am."

She let it go. "You know where he is now, don't you?"

"Getting his sword checked out or something."

"Not just that. Everything. He's going to have to go through all sorts of tests with a captain he doesn't particularly like. It might even be painful. So when he comes back tonight, I was hoping you would be a bit kinder to him."

"Yeah, well, we'll see." He rose. "I'm going for a walk."

"Okay."

She watched him leave, knowing where he was headed

* * *

The twelfth division. Grimmjow stood in front of it for hours once he'd found it. He didn't go in, he didn't really know what he wanted to do, so he just waited until he knew. And when he felt the spike in power that told of pain and fear, he knew why'd he come.

Ichigo was sitting on the floor when he found him, blue jeans on but chest bare and heaving. A strange man hovered back from him, and a woman turned with a syringe in hand.

"I'll give him a sedative."

"Don't touch him." Grimmjow knelt before Ichigo. He was holding his head, power still rippling from him. "Kid?"

"I don't know what happened." Ichigo muttered between his hands. "I was just doing a test and then all of sudden it was like I was back in that room—that chair."

"Come here." He pulled him up off the floor and got him standing, but he recognized the quality of his breathing: he was on the verge of a panic attack. He held him close, feeling him shake all over. "I've got you."

Those three words he'd said so many times. His voice rumbling in his chest against his ear. Those arms around him.

"It has to go both ways." Ichigo said suddenly, forgetting Kurotsuchi and Nemu, their world only consisting of themselves.

"What does?"

"I said I wouldn't leave you, but you can't leave me either."

"I won't."

"But you did." He shut his eyes and gripped the fabric of Grimmjow's shirt. "The last three days, Grimmjow, you've been gone."

"Oh. I'm sorry Ichigo. I won't do it again."

"Good. Now can we go back to the manor?"

There was a weak protest from Kurotsuchi but he'd gotten enough data to keep him busy for a while so he let them go. Grimmjow pulled Ichigo's shirt back down over his head. They walked over the Seireitei in silence, and when they got back to the manor they went to their room which Grimmjow had not returned to for three days, and just lay down side by side, Grimmjow's arms around Ichigo. He could still feel his heart racing, his breaths fluttering.

"Are the tests all over now?"

"I don't know." The teen answered.

"I'll go with you next time, if you have to." "Thank you."

"Are you going to fall asleep?"

"I hope so. I just need the memories to stop."

Grimmjow held him tighter. Eventually, they both went under.

* * *

**_And the angst continues!_**

**_Thanks for the reviews,_**

**_Riza_**


	15. Chapter 15

Grimmjow buttoned his jeans but turned in the mirror to check himself out. Muscles corded his back, chest, abdomen—they'd always been there, but today he saw renewed strength in them. He'd been training hard the last two weeks, and whatever it was they were feeding him had worked wonders on his body. He'd gained twenty pounds, the difference in him was astounding, and Ichigo no less so.

"Checking yourself out?" Ichigo grinned, at him from the bathroom entrance.

"Sort of." Grimmjow admitted, "I mean, it's amazing right?"

"Yeah, it is." The teen stopped him from putting his shirt back on. "You know what we talked about?" He said when his hand came to rest on his hip. "Maybe now is a good time."

A few days ago Ichigo had suggested they take it one step at a time in getting Grimmjow past certain issues. It was early morning, and they were both feelings stronger and healthier than they had in months. Ichigo pulled Grimmjow down, so he was sitting on the toilet lid. Grimmjow watched him reach for the button of his jeans. He turned away. Ichigo watched his eyes fix elsewhere when his fly was undone, jeans and boxers rolled down just enough to expose that scar. Grimmjow flinched violently and took a grip on the sink.

"It's okay." Ichigo leaned over to the sink where the tub of cream was. The rest of his scars had been reduced to mere white lines on his skin but this one was still awful. Today, however, Ichigo was going to take the first step in getting rid of it.

"Shit..." Grimmjow tensed when Ichigo ran the cream down the scar, first at the top then he ran his hand under Grimmjow's boxers. He thought Grimmjow was going to break the sink he was clenching it so hard. Ichigo didn't miss a single shaking breath. But as his hand slid lower and he felt the length and width of the horrible burn, and it's proximity to so many sensitive places, Ichigo understood why Grimmjow didn't want it touched. He finished the task and cleaned the ointment off his hands but returned to Grimmjow who seemed stuck in his position.

"It's got to feel better." Ichigo did his pants up for him, and waited for Grimmjow to respond. Guilt washed through him when he saw he'd killed all the vivaciousness that had been in Grimmjow moments ago. "What is it?"

"I only remember that one time." He said suddenly. "But I think...I still remember all of it on some level." He didn't mean Halibel, he meant why he flinched from touches, why he couldn't stand having that scar touched.

"I didn't mean to upset you Grimmjow."

"I don't want to be like this." He bent forward, head resting in hands. "I want more. I want to give you more."

"It's fine."

"The Hell it is!" He stood, almost knocking into Ichigo. They were a hair's breadth apart, Grimmjow's bare chest heaved. He raised a hand, ran it over Ichigo's hair, face, before pulling it away and clenching it to a fist. "How can I want it so badly, and not be able to at the same time?"

"It's too soon, that's why."

"I don't think it is! Why should it be? Why should time make anything better?"

"Because with time comes healing." He bent and picked up Grimmjow's shirt. "It's just the way it works. Grimmjow took the bundle of fabric and stared at it.

"How much time?"

"I don't know."

Grimmjow met his eyes, dropped the shirt. "Fuck time."

Ichigo was startled to find lips meet his own, almost aggressive. Hands grabbed his hips and pulled him close, one working up his back for better support. Ichigo gave into it, but never lost his reserve, that calm part of him trying to decipher Grimmjow's motives.

It was a test—not for Ichigo, but for Grimmjow himself. He wanted to push himself, to see what he could handle. So Ichigo responded. He let his hands roam over Grimmjow's bare back. He let Grimmjow move his hands under his own shirt. He let him pull them back to the toilet, sitting so that Ichigo was straddling him. He let his shirt come off and he let Grimmjow move down his neck to his collar. And he let Grimmjow's hand come to rest on his thighs. And he let himself grow excited and hot.

"Ichigo!" They pulled apart, hearts thundering. The door shuddered under the rapping knuckles. "Yo Ichigo, you in there?"

"Y-yeah." The teen stammered in response to Renji's shout.

"Well hurry the Hell up, training starts in five minutes."

"O-okay," he managed.

"Good, and find Grimmjow and tell him too will ya?" They listened to footsteps pace away. Both exhaled long, and Ichigo let his forehead fall against Grimmjow's.

"I'm sorry."

"Sounds like we have to go." Grimmjow stood and Ichigo slid from his lap. The espada pulled his t-shirt on, face unreadable. "See you at training." He left the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Ichigo looked to his own flushed reflection.

"Shit."

* * *

"You're late for training." Renji grunted when they eventually made their way to sixth.

"Sorry," was all Ichigo said.

"Whatever, I thought I'd send you to Kenpachi today anyway, if you're up for it."

"Sure."

Ichigo was not training with his sword. No one wanted to face that power, well, no one sane, and the offer was never extended to Kenpachi. And since Pantera was still in Bach's clutches, Grimmjow also had to use a borrowed blade.

Their endurance was rapidly returning, Ichigo's much faster. The teen naturally healed faster because of his spiritual pressure and because he hadn't been in Bach's care for as long. His immune system was back to normal whereas Grimmjow's was still weak. And he also wasn't burdened with the knowledge that no matter how strong he got, his mind was still broken.

But they both took to the training field nonetheless, and there, they were warriors again, they were men with only one concern: survival. It was liberating, it was invigorating. And despite bruises, cuts and breaks they might endure—it was healing.

Mostly. Because always at Grimmjow's side, was his other half yelling instructions at him.

"Your left!" Halibel warned, he turned in time to catch Ikkaku's javelin in the crook of his arm, bringing it up sharply and throwing him off balance enough he disarmed him.

"Behind you!" He ducked a swipe for Yumichika's blade and and threw his own back, cutting the other under the ribs. They stopped, the rules of engagement in this case were to simply end when blood was drawn, otherwise their training sessions would end alot more brutally.

"I don't get it," Ikkaku muttered when they left the field, "how in the Hell do you move like that?"

Sapphire eyes shifted sideways to her but he didn't address her, he just shrugged instead.

"Well I'm glad you're on our side now." The pair had been fairly accepting of his change of sides, Ichigo guessed they just recognized a fellow warrior.

All Soul Reapers, were not quite as open minded.

On their walk back from training, Ichigo's face lit up when he saw a mismatched pair coming their way. "Rangiku! Toshiro!" He called, hurrying forward to greet them. He'd barely seen anyone as they were all busy with training and preparations for the next attack, which could come at any time.

"Ichigo." She threw her arms around him. "You're so skinny!" She exclaimed. "You're supposed to be all filled out like a proper man now!"

"Rangiku..." Toshiro huffed a sigh but also greeted the teen when Rangiku let him go. "Congratulations on your birthday." He said. Ichigo smiled at the serious yet welcome greeting he got. But then he watched the child-captain go stiff as a board and his aqua eyes fixed over Ichigo's shoulder.

"You!" He pulled out his blade before Ichigo could react. Grimmjow stood at the other end of Hyorinmaru's dangerous point, his own eyes equally wide.

"Captain! He's on our side now, remember?" Rangiku urged, but fierce eyes narrowed, shifting all over Grimmjow.

"Toshiro, put your sword down." Ichigo demanded. But the tip pushed forward, leaving no room for error as it pressed along Grimmjow's throat. "TOSHIRO!"

"What is this, espada?" He said finally.

Grimmjow eyes were just as hard. "I know you." His hand shot up and caught the blade, pulling it from his throat. Though blood trickled down his palm, he held Hyorinmaru out from Toshior's body, and grabbed him by the front of his uniform. "You're the bastard who almost killed Halibel."

"GRIMMJOW!" But Toshiro was faster. Ichigo felt the splat of blood across his face when Hyorinmaru ripped out of Grimmjow's grasp, nearly taking his hand with it and a kido spell shot for his face. The espada barely dodged.

"Bastard."

"STOP!" Ichigo and Rangiku said as one. He caught Grimmjow, she her captain.

"This is over." Ichigo said bluntly and started hauling Grimmjow away. He didn't wait to hear what the Captain of the Tenth had to say and entered flashstep, towing Grimmjow along with him.

"What the Hell was that?" Ichigo asked when they were back at the manor. He hurriedly got a towel to wrap around Grimmjow's ruined hand.

"Nothing."

"That wasn't nothing."

"Just let it—FUCK!" He slammed his other hand into the wall when Ichigo put pressure on his right.

"Ichigo what happened?" Rukia came at the commotion.

"I think we need someone from the Fourth."

"Did Eleventh squad do that?"

"I'll explain after, please, Rukia."

"Okay." She left and returned with Hanataro shortly after. The wound was serious, but he was skilled and stitched it up with kidou combined with needled and thread.

"Your tendons were damaged," the young healer stated. "Please do not try to move your fingers for several days." He had securely bound the whole appendage. "I will come back to check on it."

"Thanks." Grimmjow grunted and hurried out of the room. Ichigo made to follow but Rukia caught his arm and demanded an explanation.

"Fuck." Grimmjow hissed when he was back in their bedroom and leaned against the wall. He rolled his head sideways to regard her, still hostile. "What in the Hell is going on? That was you that freaked out, not me."

Her green eyes narrowed but he got no answer.

"Halibel, tell me!"

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

He launched himself off the wall and made a grab for her but the door slid open and Ichigo came in.

"Grimmjow! What are you doing?"

He dropped his arm but didn't answer.

"You're fighting with Halibel aren't you?"

"So what?"

"_So what_? You know she isn't real!"

"She's real to me, Ichigo!" he blurted. They both turned silent. "Fuck, I mean, I know what she is, Ichigo, but it doesn't mean I don't still see and hear her all the time."

"I'm sorry." The teen moved to him. "You just don't talk about her much anymore and sometimes I sort of forget she's here." Grimmjow was tense but he allowed the embrace Ichigo gave him. When he pulled back, there was calm between them. "Rukia is going to check up on my sisters for me, and I wanted to see my Dad. Are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. See you later."

Ichigo left. Grimmjow instantly turned back to Halibel.

"I want answers, and I want them now."

* * *

_**Until next time!**_

_**thanks for your reviews,**_

_**Riza.**_


	16. Chapter 16

"Nice one, Rukia!" Ichigo opened the bag of items Rukia had collected from his room in the world of the living. He was currently holding his ipod, realizing only now how much he'd missed music.

"And I brought this, I think I have something from when I was assigned to your world to charge it." She had pulled out his docking station, which would allow him to listen in the room if he wanted. She'd also brought a few more clothes, a few of his books and a bag full of junk food she'd already started munching on. It was a welcome gift after finding out his father had not yet improved and that Kurotsuchi had made little progress deciphering his spiritual pressure.

Ichigo moved to their room to hang the clothes and eagerly set up music system. Before all this madness, he'd just been a teenage boy, and just because he'd become a spiritual super hero who'd already saved the universe, didn't mean he still didn't like a little pop music like everyone else his age.

He tidied the room while he was at it, unable to keep the small bounce from his every move as he listened to the music. He continued for quite some time before he realized he was being watched.

"Grimmjow!" He turned, startled and embarrassed but rather than the sly smirk he expected he got utter confusion. The espada stared at the source of sound with a look of wonderment.

"Grimmjow?"

"What is it?"

"What do you mean? I think this song is from a new band, I forget their name..." but that clearly wasn't what he was asking. He slowly put together what was wrong. "It's music, Grimmjow. Have you never heard it before?"

"...no." He seemed utterly stunned by the symphony of noises that came out of plastic speakers. "I've never heard anything like it." It was by no means the best music in the world, but it was the first he'd heard and Ichigo couldn't tear his eyes from his face, watching emotions of amazement, enjoyment, wash unhidden over his face.

"Why?" Grimmjow said finally.

"Because people like it. People have always made music. It's a way to express yourself, to share emotions, to celebrate, to mourn...it's entertainment, it's pleasure. And people dance to it."

"Is that what you were doing?"

"Well, not really, dance is more like this..." he wasn't the world's best dance but he knew a few moves he shared. Grimmjow watched him carefully, the mocking side of him still held at bay by curiosity.

"And humans do this?"

"Yeah. I imagine Soul Reapers do too."

"Strange."

"I think it's natural. Here." Ichigo skipped to another song, one of his favourites, much more artistic, just a clear, piercing voice on a light melody. He stepped into Grimmjow and put his arms around him. "For example, this song is slow, so you know how to move to it, even without being shown right?" Grimmjow wasn't moving, but with a bit of gentle guidance, he swayed with the teen, just holding each other and moving slightly. Ichigo couldn't help the sigh that left him.

"I never knew music existed." Grimmjow said, but Ichigo heard the solemnity in his voice and looked up at him.

"What is it?"

"Nothing..." But Ichigo kept looking at him, "I just...wish Halibel could have heard music too."

The song ended. Ichigo shut the ipod off and turned back to this partner. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For forgetting what you lost. On top of everything else that's going on, you lost someone you cared about more than anything."

"Not more than anything."

Ichigo smiled. "I know you care about me, but that doesn't eclipse what happened to her, or the fact you haven't gotten closure."

"How can I, when I still see her everyday? Putting her to rest is impossible when she's still here."

"I don't know." Ichigo took his unbandaged hand. "I don't have the answers."

They sat on the mattress, staring at the floor. Ichigo waited, seeing Grimmjow had more to say. "I actually forget sometimes, that she's not really here. And then I remember and I feel that pain all over again. I didn't know about any of this—about _mourning_ someone. I don't know how to do it. And then something like this, I can't help think she would have liked it, and will never get to hear it. And I feel this pain right here." His bandaged hand came up over his chest. "I can't explain it, but it hurts like it hurt to see you suffering back in that Hell hole."

"I know. That's what I felt when my mother died."

"How did you make it better?"

"You can't." Grimmjow looked up at him. "I'm sorry. Nothing will ever make you stop loving the person you lost, or stop missing them. But time will put distance between you and the sharpness of that pain, if that makes any sense. With time, you learn how to cope. You stop forgetting what happened and just know, and it's still sad, but you're heart and mind learn to cope. You start to remember the joy and love of that person more than the pain of their loss."

Grimmjow nodded but couldn't hold his eyes. Ichigo watched them become hidden under the white bandages. "But all I have is pain. It's all we had when we were in that cell, she lived in pain, and she died in so much pain, Ichigo...she died after being raped and tortured and then hooked into that machine trying to unmake her. She died screaming. I don't have memories of joy with her, just suffering."

There were no words of comfort for him, so Ichigo just sat with him in silence.

* * *

Music became part of their daily lives. They sparred without using their spiritual pressure, as much as that was possible, in the yard of the manor, and Ichigo would blast out music. They exercised to it. They lay in bed and listened to it. It was a near constant to their lives and helped fill the silences of sadness that lingered between them from time to time.

They made progress with their promise. The scar was fading, Grimmjow was holding Ichigo a little less tightly every time. The teen increasingly had to make personal trips to the bathroom—his mind was prepared to wait as long as Grimmjow needed but his body was not. And part of him suspected Grimmjow had a similar problem. They were increasingly doing less sleeping and more...other things.

It was only a matter of time before Grimmjow would say he was ready. Ichigo felt extremely guilty that the world around them was going to shit—the soul reapers preparing to attack before Bach could; his dad and Urahara still in comas—and he was still thinking about getting laid.

"Any progress on your sword?" Grimmjow was winded from a long run. He sat heavily on the edge of the porch where Ichigo was sitting after a session with Kurotsuchi. He hadn't had to do any tests, but he was less than satisfied with the results.

"He says it may never go back to the way that it was."

"Meaning?"

"I don't know. Grimmjow, what happened to Pantera?"

"Bach has him. I'd know if he'd done anything to him. He's intact."

"Good. We'll get him back."

"I know. Ichigo, you aren't thinking of going on this mission are you?"

"Why not? We've gotten stronger."

"Because your powers are all over the place and you just told me your zanpakuto might be permanently changed."

"But what if we could end this now, before anyone else got hurt?"

"No. It's not smart."

"Says who, you or Halibel?"

"Both of us." He glanced at her where she leaned against a post. "I'm going for a shower."

Grimmjow didn't like being reminded his mind was split in half. Ichigo sighed and waited for him to cool off. Grimmjow seemed to require a literal cooling off, though Ichigo didn't know how he could stand the cold water. They were very opposite in that regard.

Ichigo met him in the room as he was doing up his jeans. He reached for his shirt but Ichigo stopped him.

"Wait."

"What?"

"What about in inside of your hollow hole? You were burned there too, weren't you?"

"It's different," he answered. "There are no scars."

"Really?"

"Really. Here." He took Ichigo's wrist and guided his hand toward his hollow space. Ichigo had never touched inside of it, but now Grimmjow put his hand against the inner rim. He couldn't help flinch at the feeling of another's touch there, but Ichigo now understood what he meant. It wasn't like touching skin, it was like energy, like his soul. Yes there was a physical edge, but it was covered in spirit.

"Woa." The teen said running his hand along the surface. Grimmjow shivered almost like he was being tickled and drew Ichigo's hand back out again with a long breath.

"See. It's different."

"Yeah." Grimmjow once again reached for his shirt but for a second time he was stopped. But not by Ichigo—by a wash of horrible dark power breaking the atmosphere.

"No..." they both turned to the invisible spot in the ceiling before bolting from the room.

"I have to get Zangetsu!" Ichigo said.

"You can't fight—nevermind, let's go." Grimmjow understood. They could not let Bach take Ichigo's sword, so he ran with the teen out into the sunlight.

It was already chaos. They ran and dodged their way across the battle field like men of earth had long ago, dodging unpredictable shells and bomb and artillery fire. Except what exploded around them was blue light, or spirit particles, or energy beams.

Another explosion went off right before them. A building shattered and they both fell, struck by debris. Grimmjow's hand had improved but was still stiffly bound, he used his other to shield himself. When they felt the burn of another approaching explosion, he let a cero rip.

"Run." He pulled Ichigo up and they bolted. Both weaponless, they didn't stop to see who had tried to attack them. By the time they got to the twelfth, they were both covered in dirk and small cuts. To their surprise, the captain was still in his lab.

"What are you doing in here?" Ichigo demanded.

"Would you have preferred I leave your zanpakuto unattended?" Captain Kurostsuchi had already taken Zangetsu from his protective case and handed the blade to Ichigo.

"Oh." Ichigo was instantly humbled. "Sorry."

"Do not face the Vandenreich, Kurosaki." The captain warned.

"You can't expect me to do nothing."

"Your power could inadvertently destroy the entire Seireitei. Yes, I expect you to remain here."

"But—"

"The information of the Twelfth is critical to Soul Society. Defend this laboratory with your lives."

"Kurotsuchi—"

"Do not let me come back to find it destroyed."

He left with no further instruction.

"Dammit."

"Move outside where you can see the enemy." Halibel instructed.

"Come on." Grimmojw took them back outside to stand guard at the entrance of the lab. "Shit." The hills around them were already smoking.

"Keep your eyes open." Halibel was tense, which meant he must be sensing something.

"Ichigo, I think—"

There were no words. There was no time. Something hit, and it hit big. Ichigo never saw who struck, never saw where from, he just knew he was with Grimmjow one second, and the next the espada was gone. There was searing heat all around them, a white light too bright to see, and then they were both flying.

"GRIMMJOW!" The blast had stuck right where he was standing. Ichigo was still picking himself out of debris when he started screaming for him, knowing his chances of survival were minimal.

"GRIMMJO—"

"He's ashes now." Ichigo turned. Hashwald. "And you're coming back with me."

He got a hand on Ichigo's upper arm, but when those brown eyes met him, there was a coldness in them that made the quincy drop his hand and reach for his weapon.

"Where is Grimmjow?"

"I told you he's dead."

"Then so are you."

And nothing in this universe could save Bach's right hand man.

* * *

"What is that?" Rukia held her arm tight against her stomach, it was broken, her sword cracked, but sandwiched between Renji and Ikkaku she was safe enough in this chaos. "It can't be Ichigo can it?"

The entire hill where the 12 division sat was surrounded in a dense field. It took some time for them to realize it was a mist of reichi as it was dissolved from the atmosphere around the teen. He didn't know how to control his quincy powers, and he was destroying the land around him. Rukia could feel the anger in the power—no one couldn't, it was crushing the whole land. At this distance they were still mobile, but not unaffected.

"Impossible.." Ikkaku murmured. Then there was a black arc of light and both men tensed, watching it cut a swathe through half the seireitei. "DAMMIT!"

"Hell, he could have killed everyone!"

They were all moving now, trying to see if Ichigo's strike had hit anything vital, or anyone. The Tenth division barracks were split open, the yard of the eleventh now sported a trench, but the majority of the strike had cut through the air.

"Well, who ever he was attacking, they're dead." Renji concluded.

"Yeah."

"Your backs are wide open."

"Shit!" Ikkaku hit the wall with brutal force, stone breaking around his body. He crumpled to the ground and Rukia couldn't even tell if he was breathing but there was no time to check. A hollow piece of Renji's bankai struck her cheek. She fell flat, the blow stunning and her skin rapidly swelling from the impact, closing off her vision in one eye. She saw the pieces of Renji's bankai all around her. When she pulled herself back up, she found him hanging in their attacker's grasp.

"RENJI!"

He dropped. The beast of a man who'd attacked them stepped over his body toward her. She took a step back, sword held up defensively, but her hands were shaking.

"You think you can challenge me, bitch?"

She swung. He struck. It was just his hand, but he was so much bigger than her it might as well have been a brick. Her sword clattered from her, blood trailed out her nose and mouth but he didn't stop. He hauled her up and slammed her back into the wall. "Let's have some fun." His hot breath on her, the look in his eyes, was more terrifying than anything she'd encountered on the battlefield.

"DRISCOLL!" The voice bellowed behind them. The massive man turned just enough Rukia could see past his shoulder.

"Oh ho, look who we have here." He drug Rukia from the wall and turned with her still in his grasp. "Grimmjow."

Steam rose off the espada's body. He looked untouched, hair slick with water, Rukia couldn't guess what had happened to him but he stood in feral rage, half naked and in an animal stance. The growl that came from him was no more human than a wolf's bark.

"Let. Her. Go."

Rukia fell limp on the broken stone walkway but kept her eyes open. She watched two colossal forces meet, her senses dulled and vision swirling. Grimmjow was so much smaller, but waves of raw energy flowed from him. She saw him break hold with the giant quincy, run into the wall and use it to launch himself up and onto the man's back. There was the most bestial of cries as his hands wrapped around his neck. She watched the fall of Driscoll Berci. His neck turned sharp to the side, his spine crunched and snapped. But he was not dead. These quincies had amazing powers of regeneration. He would come back with the power of his blutt unless he was completely destroyed.

So Grimmjow completely destroyed him.

The espada's powers were overwhelming to Rukia's battered body. She could no long distinguish them from the quincie's but she watched Grimmjow kneel on Driscoll's body, tear away at his flesh with fingers, burn it away with ceros. He pounded down with his ruined hand and his stronger one, until he was elbow deep in skull fragments and brain matter, until his arms were painted crimson, his chest splattered with thick globs of blood.

No power of the Vandenreich could bring this soldier back.

"That's enough." Rukia had gotten to her knees, and watched him continue to strike down on the destroyed form. "Grimmjow." She half fell as she got her arms around him and pulled bare shoulders back against her. "Stop."

He did. There was no doubt in her mind who this man had been, what he had done to the two espada.

"Shhh." His breath was as ragged as her own, his whole body trembling. "You did it. He's dead."

"Yeah." He finally spoke, some higher level of thinking returned to him. He pulled himself up, out of the mess, drenched in bodily fluids. But she was shaking, swaying and bloodied arms caught her.

"I'll take you to the Fourth." She heard him say.

"Tell them about Renji and Ikkaku." She whispered and felt his nod before she gave in to concussion and injuries.

* * *

**_Ahh, sweet, bloody vengeance. No answers about Halibel yet, but they will come in the next chapter! Thanks for your reviews!_**

**_Riza_**


	17. Chapter 17

"They're retreating!" Hanatora announced to all those being tended to in the Fourth. "Ichigo was too much for them."

"Even Bach?" Isane asked him.

"I guess so. They were fighting but then the King called a retreat."

"Then let us get all the wounded still out there." she ordered.

"Right." The commotion in the Fourth was lost to Ichigo when he arrived, walking through the halls without a nod, a word, expression dead, even when he found Rukia just waking. He stood before her, a look of utter sorrow in his face.

"What is it? What did Bach do?" she asked immediately.

"Grimmjow...we were standing together and the next he was just gone. Rukia I couldn't do anything he was just—"

"What? Ichigo I just saw him. He was just released from the Fourth."

"What? What are you talking about there was no way he could have survived that impact."

"No, he did. He saved me, Ichigo. He's back at the manor waiting for you."

He was gone before the last word left her mouth. She smiled but then his words settled on her. Grimmjow had seemed strangely untouched, how could that be if he'd really been hit by something Ichigo thought could destroy him?

"Where is he?" She turned, startled at the sharp voice next to her.

"Captain Hitsugaya." He was covered in dirt but looked unharmed, his icy gaze set on her. "What's wrong?"

"Everything," he answered. "That attack. The retreat. And certainly what I felt coming from your vicinity during the battle. Tell me, where is Grimmjow Jaggerjaques?"

* * *

"Sir. Hashwald and Driscoll did not survive the attack."

Bach looked up from the object he held to see Buzzbee, the next in his chain of command since the loss of his right hand. "Yes, Hashwald is unfortunate," he responded. "But now we know just how powerful Ichigo has become. Now I know he will be capable of destroying the zero squad for us, and they will no doubt come after this attack."

"But how will you finish his reeducation?"

"When he is brought back to me."

"How?"

"The first soldier I reeducated. She has already awakened, did you not feel her power on the battlefield?" He lifted the hollowed blade in his grasp to show his subordinate. "Halibel will not let me down when I call her back to Tiburon."

* * *

"Grimmjow!"

The espada had been waiting for him on the porch. His hands were bandaged from fingers to elbows—he'd broken most the bones in his relentless attack on Driscoll but he forgot that pain when he held Ichigo. He hadn't known how the teen fared, he'd been worried about the physical and emotional fallout of an encounter with their former captors.

And Ichigo—Ichigo was seeing the man he'd thought turned to ashes next to him. They collided so hard and fast Grimmjow hit the post behind him, but neither stopped. They needed to feel the other close, know they were okay. Mouths locked so tight they could hardly breath, hands explored more to check for wounds on each other than out of lust.

"I thought you were dead." There were tears in Ichigo's eyes when he finally pulled back to stare at Grimmjow, to reassure himself he was there.

"I'm not," he just said, hand around the teen's back and in his hair.

"Grimmjow if you'd died I don't know what I would have done."

"But I didn't."

"Grimmjow. I..."

The words hung there, unsure, unfinished, but Grimmjow nodded.

"I know." He didn't have to say anything more, neither did, they understood.

They moved to be closer again, no exhaustion from battle hindering the blood thundering through their veins. They managed to stumbled back inside the manor, never separating. Need and emotion lost to baser desire, Ichigo was nearly winded when Grimmjow half fell with him into a wall. He grabbed his hips and hauled him up, legs wrapped around his waist at once. Their mouth broke apart only to get rid of their shirts. Torsos melded together, hands flew up and down, touching everywhere, seeking every inch of skin.

"Grimmjow are we—"

"Yes." The espada pulled him off the wall and into the bedroom. They fell hard onto the mattress, Grimmjow above Ichigo, holding his body up when the teen started undoing his pants while their tongues still warred in their mouths. Grimmjow kicked the rest of the way out of his pants before sitting back to drag Ichigo's off. They beheld each other for a moment, a brief calm before the storm as their chests heaved and bodies tingled with the flame of desire.

Then Grimmjow dove on him.

Ichigo expected pain, discomfort, for his first time at least, but either Grimmjow knew just what to do or his powers mixed with his desires prevented him from ever feeling any. Everything about it was right. Neither knew what chaos might still be unfolding around them, because they had one another, they had everything they could want in this world and nothing could touch them.

Almost nothing.

* * *

Ichigo stepped out of the shower feeling energized and fresh. Rather than sore, his felt vigour in his muscles, a lightness in his heart, and when he came out to the porch he couldn't stop himself from admiring the man sitting o the edge of the porch. Water still clung in his blue locks from his own shower. His expression was the most content it had been since Ichigo met Grimmjow in that cell.

"How are you feeling?" The esapda asked when Ichigo sat next to him.

"Great actually."

"Good."

"You?"

"Perfect."

"Good. But now I think we should check on some people." An edge of guilt overtook him. He shouldn't have waited so long before checking on everyone.

"Okay." Grimmjow stood and they left the manor but didn't make it far. They both froze when they felt the incoming spiritual pressures. They were ringed by black figures before Ichigo perceived the blade at Grimmjow's throat.

"WHAT THE HELL?" The teen demanded.

Soifon and Hitsugaya stood shoulder to shoulder, his blade on Grimmjow and hers hovering dangerously toward Ichigo.

"We're taking the espada with us."

"The Hell you are, what's going on?"

"It's her. Halibel." Toshiro answered.

"What? Halibel's not real."

"She is." The captain answered.

Grimmjow took a step back from him, eyes wide. "What did you say?"

"I said Halibel is real. I felt her on that battlefield."

"You're as insane as me."

"He isn't," Soifon countered. "I just got confirmation from the Twelfth."

Grimmjow took another step back, stumbling against Ichigo. He gripped backwards for support, watching the Soul Reapers, trying to figure out their motive, their lie. But he saw none.

"She's just in me head..."

"Apparently not."

"Stop." Ichigo drew Grimmjow back from their blades and stepped between them. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I assure you, we do. Grimmjow must come with us."

"Halibel, what's happening?" Grimmjow looked to her behind Ichigo. Her eyes were on fire, body tensed. "Halibel?!"

"Run Grimmjow," she said.

"What?"

"RUN!"

Kido cut through the air before him. Ichigo had pushed him out of the way but more Soul Reapers landed at their back, hemming them in. Halibel was screaming at him; Ichigo was begging the Soul Reapers to stop; Soifon was shouting orders—and in the middle of it all, Grimmjow was drowning.

"STOP!" He grabbed his head with broken hands, falling to his knees. Halibel was deafening him, his chest clenched tight in panic—her panic.

"Get up!" She screeched. "Grimmjow they'll cut me out of you! Don't let them kill me."

He brought his eyes up to her, vaguely aware of Ichigo watching him, calling his name.

"Please..." her hand fell over his face, "save me Grimmjow."

"Are you really here?" he whispered to her. But she turned, and he with her, seeing the oncoming attack. Ichigo had his eyes on Soifon, but the Soul Reapers to their left had built up a kido.

"I won't let you take me." She said to the men, raising her hand—Grimmjow's hand came up with it. He felt a cold rush through his body. The yellow light built in the palms of the Soul Reapers, then they released.

And so did Grimmjow.

Ichigo fell when the wall of water sprung out of no where, when the hot light of kido sizzled against it. He heard Toshiro cry Bankai, Soifon grabbed his shoulders and hauled him back, but his eyes never left Grimmjow, never left the spray of water that cascaded from his hand, met the power and turned to a shimmering rain.

And he saw her. In the water's reflection, the ghostly form reflected on a thousand shimmering beads—the woman who had haunted Grimmjow since the day she died.

Ichigo gripped the tiny captain back. "Soifon...please don't tell me..."

"Tier Halibel is still alive."

* * *

**_Until next time! _**

**_Thanks for the reviews,_**

**_Riza_**


	18. Chapter 18

"How is this possible?!" Ichigo stood at the end of the row of captains. Kyoraku had given him permission to attend their meeting but Ichigo was showing none of the due respect after what had just happened. "How did we see her? Where have they gone?"

"Calm down!" Soifon hissed at him. "You're helping nothing."

"You knew," he continued, eyeing her then turning to Toshiro. "How did you know?"

"My soul resonated with hers," Hitsugaya answered. "Hyorinmaru was nearly beaten by her, she was one of the strongest opponents I ever faced, even considering the Vandenreich I have killed. When I met you and Grimmjow in the street that day, I knew she was there, somehow. I felt her."

"But you didn't act on it."

"I did. Rather than imprisoning him immediately, I thought it would be best to get confirmation from the Twelfth Division. I was wrong. I should have arrested him the moment I saw him."

"It's not Grimmjow's fault."

"We don't know that," Soifon cut in. "We don't know what he knows. Maybe he's known she was alive in him all this time."

"He didn't!"

"I think this argument is futile," Unonhana said, "until we get Grimmjow back. He was not in control back there, that was Halibel's spiritual pressure that fended off the Kido."

"And who Sonidoed them away?" Soifon questioned.

"I do not know. But one thing for certain is he is scared, of himself and us. There's only one person who can bring him back."

All eyes turned to Ichigo.

"Bring him back to what? To chains? To experiments?"

"Are you refusing the will of the counsel?" Soifon challenged.

"I will, if that's what's going to happen to him. He's an ally now, he saved me."

"He's been given a grace he never deserved," Mayuri chimed in.

"No." Renji had remained silent, partly because of a bruised trachea from Driscoll, but also always aware of his junior status among them, but he spoke now. "None of you have spent the amount of time I have with him. He's nothing like the espada we encounter before the Winter War. He is extremely loyal to Ichigo, he could be a great asset against the Vandenriech."

"I agree," Kenpachi added.

"From my assessment," Unohana spoke softly, "he is more broken than he is whole. He has suffered things I will not repeat here today."

"And you're saying that absolves him of past crimes?" Kyoriky spoke evenly, not accusing, just seeking the truth.

"No. I am saying the world has changed around us, and all of us with it, including Grimmjow. He was beyond broken when he encountered Ichigo in the Vandenreich home world. He chose to risk freedom to save him. I think we need to accept his change for the better, as we have accepted many of the changes in our lives, in our allies." She looked to their vizored captain. "Have accepting old enemies as friends not done us well until now?" "Thank you, Retsu." Kyroaku was clearly bringing an end to the conversation. "Ichigo, the only promise I can make you is that we would prefer to keep Grimmjow an ally, but there are too many unknowns now. He may not be himself if and when you find him. We may not be able to reason with him."

"And then?"

"And then we will have to lock him up, until we find a solution." Ichigo knew what that meant. It meant he would be put in a cell until the war was over—which may not happen for years. But he also knew he couldn't help Grimmjow on his own. He needed Unohana, maybe even Mayuri. So he nodded.

"I'll go at once."

"Not alone."

"We can't weaken Soul Society now," Soifon protested. "With an attack just this morning."

"Send Rukia," Toshiro cut in. "She was wounded, she is not battle ready but she can travel, no? If anything were to go wrong, she could return and report back to us. That is, if it is alright with her captain."

"Of course," Renji answered, but looked at Ichigo with a gaze that read, protect her or die. He would have smiled if it weren't for the seriousness of the situation.

"Thank you." He backed out of the room and was running for the Fourth before he even left the First Division.

* * *

"You're going to have to talk to me eventually."

She circled him where he sat. His broken fingers were in his hair, his head bowed and knees raised. He'd never gotten a chance to put his shirt on, sun gleamed on his bare back. There was nothing around them for miles. They'd travelled far—father than he should have been capable, but with the strength and speed of two they'd gained impossible ground. And now they were here, in a small clearing in a large wood, the trickle of water on rocks filled a small pool next to him.

"Grimmjow."

"Why? How?" He finally breathed.

"You remember the day I died?"

"Sort of. Not really."

"The chair. The water."

"...right. I thought it was going to kill me."

"It should have. That was all of me, all of my power that struck that room, drowned it. But instead of killing you-"

"It went inside of me? That makes no sense."

"It does. We're kin. We're of like body and soul. My body died, but my power survived by joining with yours."

"So what are you? Are you me or are you her?"

"Both Grimmjow. I am what is left of Halibel. But I am only alive because I joined with you."

"Did you know, all along? Have you been lying to me to make me think I've gone crazy?"

"You have gone crazy, Grimmjow—after everything that happened, you did dump all those memories on me. And you had to cope with my existence. You created scenarios, filled in gaps to make my presence make sense. But I am not just a manifestation of your subconscious. I am real."

"So...can I separate you? Can I save you?"

"No Grimmjow. My body is gone. Most of me is. I'm afraid, without you, I'll disappear from this world for good."

"No." He shook his head in his hands. "No this is insane. I've really lost it. I'm just trying to convince myself you're real."

"No you aren't. How do you explain the water back there? How do you explain how you survived that explosion that should have killed you?"

"Then why now?" He rose suddenly and confronted her. "Why after all this time have you suddenly taken control like this?! Why couldn't anyone tell you were inside me?"

"I don't know," she spoke softly and her hand went to her shoulder, where she should have a strap for her zanpakuto. "But I think it has to do with Tiburon."

"What? Halibel, does the king have your sword? Does the king know what you are?"

"...why else would he have kept us alive all that time?"

He froze. The wind blew cold over him, the chill settling deep inside of him. He watched her long and hard. "He has plans for us," he said eventually.

"Most likely."

"Halibel...he has our Zanpakutos."

She said nothing.

He sat again, staring at the water. "It's over now."

"What?"

"Everything."

"You mean Ichigo?"

"He is everything. But if Bach knew all this time, I'm sure he's got something planned for us. He'll use us against Ichigo." He contemplated this. "So it was you, who told me to save him. It was never me who made that choice back then."

"No it wasn't," she confirmed.

"It wasn't me who insisted he be protected. It was always you."

"It was."

"I didn't save him."

"You did."

"But because you told me. Because you made all of that happen. You pushed me toward him."

"Because you needed him."

"No. What if that's what Bach wanted you to do?"

"I would never help that bastard."

"Do you know that for sure? You just said you didn't even know what you were?! And everything I had with Ichigo was based on you! I hated him before you made me see him in a different light."

"So what?"

"_So what?_ It's all a lie! I would never have given him a second glance if it weren't for you! Everything we have is based on that moment and it wasn't even me who went back for him!"

"You really are stupid if you think that."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Just because that moment changes, doesn't mean everything after it does. I wasn't the one who slept with him yesterday."

"ARGH!" He lunged at her. She caught his wrists. "Fuck!" she squeezed his broken bones tight. "How the fuck can you even touch me?"

"The same way I always have."

"But you're-"

"Stop trying to reason it out." She lowered his hands and released them. "Stop trying to make it make sense. If I'm part of you, then you can see me, feel me, just like you can see and feel Pantera like no one else can."

"Dammit, Halibel. Why did this happen? How did we let this happen. We were the last espada."

"We were still not strong enough to stop him."

He held the silence, staring at the ground for a long moment, then he lifted his eyes back to her.

"Tell what to do."

"We run."

"Where to?"

"Where do you think? We have to go back to the last place the espada were strong."

"Hueco Mundo."

"Yes, Grimmjow. It's time to go home."

* * *

"Ichigo stop."

Rukia pulled out her soul pager at the beeping.

"What is it?" He asked, anxious to keep up their pace.

"It's a message from the Twelfth Division."

"What does it say?"

"They're gone. Grimmjow has left Soul Society."

"He what?"

"He went to Hueco Mundo."

"Dammit. We have to follow him."

"We can't. We need permission to cross there and for all we know this is a trap."

"What trap?"

"Think about it, Ichigo. Bach had them for months. Maybe this is all part of what he wanted."

"How can it be? How could any of this possibly be part of his plan?"

"I don't know, Ichigo. But we can't be reckless here—no matter how strong your feelings for Grimmjow are."

He bunched his hands into fists but said nothing.

"Come on. Let's go back and find out what the captains think we should do."

* * *

"There were bodies here." Grimmjow said as he trudged through the desert. The wind was still, everything was, and the sand had not been disturbed for a long time—possibly since the day he was captured. He saw the imprints of hundreds of forms that had disintegrated in death. "They were massacred."

"Yes they were." Halibel was beside him, no footprints left behind her. "I remember their screams."

"Do you think the Vandenreich are still here?" he asked.

"Yes. There was a reason they chose Hueco Mundo for their first assault."

"What do you mean?"

"They wanted something."

The massive palace loomed on the horizon, damaged but still looming up, a solid monstrosity in the endless sea of silver.

"Something in Las Noches? Something Aizen had?"

"Us, Grimmjow. The last espada."

"Us?"

"Yes. There were only two of us. We were his best option to find test subjects."

Grimmjow thought on this. "He planned it out that far in advance? He wanted to use us as tests before he got Ichigo."

"Everything he does is planned, Grimmjow. Yes, we were tests for Ichigo. But more—Hueco Mundo was his test invasion for Soul Society. All of it was a practice field for the main battle."

"Damn him."

"Indeed. He is smart, and we cannot underestimate his ability to foresee the future with his logic and his planning. We must assume he has further plans for us."

"Then what are we going to find in that place that's going to help us?" he asked as they neared the palace.

"Anything. Everything. Aizen had many secrets hidden in that place. Perhaps he left us something useful."

"I fucking hope so." Grimmjow grumbled and picked up his pace.

* * *

"We forbid you to go after them." The decision was made, Ichigo stood at the end of the row of captains, heart screaming, but jaw set. Rukia had coached him into calmness before he entered, and he chose his words carefully now.

"Then I thank you for everything you've done for me. I must go home."

The captains watched him carefully.

"No." Kyoraku said eventually. "You will go to Hueco Mundo through Urahara."

"Yes."

"Then I cannot let you leave."

"You can't stop me."

"I can ask you not to go."

"What?" Ichigo was off put by the Head Captain's calmness. He expected more hostility more of a fight, but the once laid-back captain just held his gaze firmly and sincerely.

"I ask you not to put this added risk on our society, Ichigo. I ask you not to willingly walk into a trap that could have devastating consequences not only for you but for this world, and your own world. I ask you not to abandon us in this time when your strength could be the deciding factor in holding of the Vandenreich. But that is all I will do. I will not stop you, I simply ask these courtesies."

Ichigo stood rooted, dumbfounded. He had been presented a choice he did not want to make. Grimmjow, or all his other friends.

"I-" But his voice failed him as his eyes scanned over the faces of the captains, resting finally only Renji who'd been such a good friend to him these last weeks. He lowered his head. "I understand." He almost whispered. "I'll stay."

"Thank you."

He left without another word. Rukia followed after him, clearly she had over-heard everything and made no comment as they went back to the manor.

"You made the right decision." She said it only when they were at the pond and he was sitting.

"I though they wanted answers too. Why is no one going after him? Why are they alright with this?"

"Because we stand at the precipice of war—we can only think on that for now."

"Rukia...how do I do nothing? Am I betraying him, by not going after him?"

She sighed. "I know you feel like your loyalties are divided on this, but trust me Ichigo, you can't leave now. Grimmjow knows that. We just have to hope he'll come back on his own."

"Okay."

* * *

Grimmjow picked up a book. It fell apart in his hands, most things in this room did, it had sustained alot of damage in the Vandenreich attacks.

"It's pointless," he said to his other half. "If Aizen had anything useful he wouldn't have just left it laying around. He would have hidden it away somewhere. And Bach's had plenty of time to search for anything..." he reasoned and then looked up to her. "Why did you really lead me back here?"

"What do you mean? I really think there might be something here."

"But what? This doesn't make much sense Halibel. It's not like you to have anything less than a detailed plan."

"These are desperate times."

But he didn't relent. "No. There's something off about this." He looked around the room suspiciously.

"What is it Grimmjow?"

"There was no one here. We didn't see any soldiers on our way? Why would they just abandon the palace?"

"Because it's dead. This whole world is dead, they slaughtered or enslaved all the hollows."

"We have to get out of here."

"Grimmjow!" She caught his arm. He found himself unable to move from her.

"What the Hell? Let go!"

"I..." Her face strained, her hand tightened. "I can't."

"What?" He gave a yank but it was more than just her hand on him, it was like she was preventing all of him from moving. "Halibel stop!"

"I CAN'T"

"It's not her fault." Grimmjow went rigid at the voice. "She didn't know what she was doing."

"Fuck, Halibel snap out of it." Grimmjow couldn't keep himself from sounding desperate when Buzzbee came even with them.

"She can't, Grimmjow. Not while I have this." He held up the hollowed blade.

"Tiburon." Halibel whispered.

"You bastard." Grimmjow growled, still unable to move from her hold. "You're controlling her?"

"The King is the one who figured out how. There isn't enough of Halibel left to resist our control, but there is enough of her to control you."

Anger flared in Grimmjow, he yanked against her hold again.

"You can't beat it. The King said you two put it together—what she is. She is inside your very soul, Grimmjow, so as long as he controls her, you have no choice to do what we want."

"What? What could you possibly want from me that you haven't already taken?"

"Why, Kurosaki, of course."

"What?"

"We thought he'd come chasing after you here when we convinced Halibel to force you back to Hueco Mundo. It would have been easy to capture him again once he was alone. But we were also prepared for the alternative."

"What?"

"To send you back to him—to bring him back to us."

"No!"

"Yes, Grimmjow. You will bring Ichigo to the King. And both of you will be back where you belong."

* * *

**_da da duh..._**

_**I've sort of slowed down on this one. still struggling with comfort zone on some parts that are to come but I'll work through it! Until next time! Thanks for your reviews!**_

_**Riza**_


	19. Chapter 19

"It hasn't rained like this since the initial attack." Rukia said it with a shudder, the thundering storm a reminder of the day she'd lost her brother. Renji wrapped his arms around her from where they stood on the porch.

"I had a dream about him last night," he admitted.

"Really?" "Yeah. He told me to swear to protect you."

"Sounds like him."

"Yeah, it does. I remember being so shocked he actually gave us our blessing to go into Hueco Mundo back then."

"It was the only way he could uphold the rules himself but repay Ichigo for all he did in rescuing me from my execution."

"Yeah I guess. I'll never be half the captain he was."

"You shouldn't try to be. He wasn't always right, Renji. He put honour before his feelings when he shouldn't have. You don't."

"You saying I'm not honourable?"

"No, I'm saying you act with your heart, and that's the most honourable thing of all." She let out a long sigh, his arms tightened around her. "Ichigo's in a bad position."

"He wants to act on his heart, but our rules won't let him," Renji concluded.

"Worse, his heart is split in two. He wouldn't put us willingly in danger. But how can he abandon Grimmjow?"

"It's a difficult-" thunder boomed and a crack of lightening struck on just the other side of the koi pond. Rukia jolted in surprise and Renji drew her back closer to the house. He kept his eyes on the spot, feeling something much more than the force of nature in the air.

"Shit!" he swore when he saw him in the downpour, blue hair plastered to his skin, utterly drenched. He clenched something in his hands. "Fuck, is that Pantera?"

"Something's really wrong." Rukia pulled out her own sword. "Grimmjow! Drop your weapon," she called.

He didn't speak. Renji had Zabimaru out and took a step forward.

Then he saw her.

Halibel was almost as clear as Grimmjow in the sheets of rain. Her form shimmered next to the sixth, holding her body just exactly the same as he held his.

Renji stood in stunned silence for a second before turning to his side. "Rukia..."

"Renji..."

"Run!"

Espada and Captain met with brutal force just at the edge of the porch. They crashed back into the soaked grass, churning up mud.

Rukia fumbled for her soul pager to call for backup but before she could she heard sock feet thundering on the wooden floor.

"Ichigo, stay inside!" she warned.

"Rukia is that...what's happening?!" he asked when he saw Zabimaru clash against Pantera. "GRIMMJOW!" She couldn't stop him. He ran in t-shirt and jeans into the cold rain.

"GRIMMJOW!" He threw himself on the espada when Pantera cut through Renji's back. They tumbled to the very edge of the koi pond, Grimmjow landing on top, pinning him into the mud.

"Grimmjow stop this!" But he saw Halibel and knew the espada was beyond his control. His eyes fell to Pantera in Grimmjow's left hand. "They found you didn't they? I should have been with you."

Grimmjow didn't speak—he didn't look capable. His eyes were clouded as Ichigo stared up to him past wet hair that hung in his face.

"Grimmjow, fight it!"

"Get off of him!" Renji's foot collided with Grimmjow's side. He fell back but rolled up with Pantera in his hands. "Get Zangetsu!" Renji ordered the teen.

"I could kill him!" Ichigo argued.

"He could kill us all." Renji met another attack. Ichigo hesitated, but the choice was taken from him when Rukia shouted his name. She'd apparently been thinking the same thing because she'd retrieved Zangetsu from the manor.

"Ichigo take him!"

"But I—"

Renji splashed into the pond. Ichigo barely saw the spray of water against that which already plummeted all around them. His eyes, were instead on the bright crimson raining on the porch, dripping from Rukia's abdomen. "RUKIA!" Grimmjow ripped Pantera from her and took Zangetsu from her weakening grip. She collapsed on the manor porch.

"Grimmjow no..." Ichigo breathed when the espada turned on him.

"Ichigo you have to use your powers!" Renji dragged himself from the pond. Grimmjow tensed, ready to sonido. "ICHIGO NOW!" Renji and Grimmjow flattened when Ichigo's power hit them. The teen had no control over how much escaped. The crushing weight of his power made the manor shudder where it was—but worse, Rukia sputtered, already dying from the wound Grimmjow had inflicted on her. If he relented, Grimmjow would be free—if he didn't, Rukia would likely die—and all because of what Bach did to him—all because he had no control over the overwhelming strength inside of him.

Rukia shuddered and went still.

"NO!" Ichigo let up at once—terrified he'd killed her. But he had no time to see if she was still breathing, because the moment the pressure lifted he felt hands around him. Grimmjow struck him hard in the jaw and caught him from behind as he stumbled. In this embrace, he clenched him tight, and the last thing Ichigo saw was Renji struggling to stand, and Rukia unmoving in a pool of her own blood. Then darkness absorbed them—not the garganta, not anything Grimmjow had done, but a darkness from another world, from another being who's soul itself was black.

Then next thing the world was bright white and they were standing drenched in the icy plain before that frozen palace. On the moment of their arrival, the King's hold on Grimmjow failed and he let go of Ichigo, collapsing to his knees.

"Grimmjow." Ichigo knelt with him, shivering in the bone deep chill.

"Ichigo...I couldn't...I didn't-"

"But you did." They looked up to those steps they'd fled down weeks earlier, thinking they'd never see them again. Bach himself stood there to greet them. "You served me very well, Grimmjow. And now Ichigo will too."

"I'll never—" Ichigo's hand had gone for Zangetsu but was stopped in a blast of blue light. Both teen and espada went limp in the snow.

"Sorry, son, but I don't have time for banter." Bach picked up Zangetsu as his subordinates moved to collect the prisoners. "We must get started at once, so you are ready in time to greet Soul Society's most famed guests."

* * *

"The zero squad will no doubt come now." Unonhana commented as she worked.

"WHAT?" She had forgotten Hanatora was with her.

"It is very likely." She explained as they poured their energy over Rukia. She'd survived surgery, but needed more than that to sustain her. "They only come in the time of the worst trials."

"But, they didn't come in the initial attack."

"They will explain their actions when they get here. You have to understand, the Sereitei is not their greatest concern."

"But how can it not be?"

"It is complicated," she sighed. "Just hope they decided to come soon, Hanatora, and before the Vandenreich take any more of our friends from us."

Hanatoro nodded and returned his focus to Rukia. She at least, was one person they could help.

* * *

Grimmjow woke to weeping. It was a noise he'd heard only after the worst moments of his life—of her life. It was what he'd heard when he'd held her after they'd raped her.

But now she cried for him. He felt the tension in his arms, and noted the chains that held him up, but forgot that pain at once when his eyes found her crouched in the corner, sobbing.

"Halibel..." He stood, taking the pressure from his arms and did a quick sweep of the room. He stopped at once when he saw Ichigo hanging across from him. "Kid!" He didn't stir, but something inside Grimmjow did. This was an all too familiar sight—real or imagined—this was how he'd always been tortured with Halibel. "They'll do it to you again," she sobbed and brought his attention back around. "Because of me."

"Halibel, help us."

"I can't. I've been trying since you were unconscious but he has me pinned, Grimmjow! He has control of my power."

"But you're inside of me! We acted together before—when we ran from the soul reapers we moved twice as fast as should be possible. We must have been combining our strength!"

"Because he wanted us too!" she screeched and stood up. "He lured us away and I fell for it! I doomed you and Ichigo both."

He had no words of solace. He wasn't even sure he understood what she was anymore. He bowed his head and she calmed again, moving to his side. "I'm with you."

"I know."

"We have to be strong."

"What does he want this time?"

"The same. He's going to complete Ichigo's transformation. He's going to win his loyalty."

"How?"

"By breaking him."

"He's going use us against him, isn't he?"

"Most likely."

"Shit."

The door creaked open, Grimmjow felt the presence of the King before he even entered. He glanced sideways at the espada but his largest concern was Ichigo. The teen still hung limp, his t-shirt still plastered to his lean form from the rain and his feet bare and covered in the dirt from the cell.

"Wake up." Bach tapped his cheek but he must have used power as well because Ichigo was suddenly rigid, coming too abruptly. The King steadied his face with a hand, almost gentle, and for the moment he was all Ichigo could see—he had no idea Grimmjow hung just a few feet from him.

"It's time to continue, Ichigo."

"No..."

"I have spent the last hour with Zangetsu while you were sleeping. He is more powerful than I could have hoped. I can hardly feel the soul reaper or the hollow in him anymore."

"I won't do what you want."

"You will, when I drown Zangetsu."

"What are you talking about?"

"He hates the rain—does he not? I will fill your whole soul with tears and rain until I drown it. I will break your heart, until you yield. Until you say yes to what I ask. And as soon as you say that word, you will be mine."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"It does, Ichigo. I spent a long time drawing forth your quincy soul. As soon as I break the parts of you you hold dear, it will win—and it knows me more than it knows any of your friends. When you say yes, you will deny the soul reaper in you and open the doorway for the qunicy to reign. Just like you long fought your hollow side, and dominated it, you will now learn to dominate your soul reaper side."

"Never. There is nothing you can do to me that will make me comply."

"I know. That's why I'm not going to do it to you. I'm going to do it to him." He stepped back, and only now could Ichigo see him.

"No...Grimmjow..."

"Yes, Ichigo. Will you really let him go through that again?"

"You can't do this," he half begged. "You know I'll never join you if you do this."

"I know you will lose yourself because you let it happen. Because everything I'm about to have done to Grimmjow will all be because of you."

"Don't listen to him." Grimmjow said, but his voice shook, because all those memories Halibel held at bay were threatening to break free. Everything she protected him from was about to happen all over again. "Grimmjow..."

"You can't give in. If you do, you'll be a monster—you'll kill all your friends—me included!" "No." Bach interrupted. "Ichigo if you do what I want, I'll protect Grimmjow. I'll make sure nothing happens to him."

"I can't..." Ichigo's chest heaved, a pain and pressure building there he hadn't felt since the last time he'd been here.

"Shhh." The king lay a hand against his heaving chest, recognizing the signs of a panic attack. "It's a choice you must make, son."

"I can't."

"If don't, you know I'll make it for you." He nodded to Buzzbee, the door opened again and a slender man stepped in. Both prisoners reacted to his arrival.

"I found him in Hueco Mundo. I think you both remember him, but perhaps you never knew his name. It's Faus. He suffered greatly for what he did, but part of me knew he might be useful again."

Halibel made a noise of rage, though in truth this man had never touched her. Grimmjow felt a throb in his hip, along what was left of an old scar. He saw the same cruel tool now strapped back on the quincy's belt.

"Believe it or not," The King continued, "Most of my men were not eager to take on this assignment. They are more honourable than Faus here. But now, I require his filthy desires."

"I'll kill you!" Ichigo screamed. "I kill both of you!"

"No, you'll join me, when you break. I will come to you after."

"Don't!" Ichigo heaved against his restraints. "DON'T!" But the King swept past him and shut the door at his back, leaving Faus alone in the room with them.

"Touch him and you'll die!" Ichigo turned his energy on Faus who just remained between them, eyes looking at them with equal lust. Ichigo strained himself to get some power to come out but nothing happened. The King had suppressed his powers and now he was helpless.

"I wish dearly that I could enjoy you as well." Faus said as Ichigo writhed in his chains. The teen stilled when he saw what his actions were arousing, then his eyes cast up to Grimmjow who seemed frozen in his chains—unable to speak in the face of what was about to happen. Ichigo's eyes darted between the pair and desperate words escaped him.

"Would you leave him alone? If you..." he swallowed hard, "did it to me instead?"

"Ichigo!" Grimmjow snapped out of his trance at this. "What the Fuck are you doing?" "Shut up!" Ichigo shouted and kept his eyes on Faus. He was a disgusting looking thing, not as big as Driscoll but something much more dark and vile inside. His eyes swept tantalizingly over Ichigo, his tongue ran over his lips.

"You shouldn't tempt me." He moved closer, circling the teen and ran a hand along his ribs and down to his hip. Ichigo jolted involuntarily as the hand came in contact with his skin and ran underneath his shirt and pressed tight against his stomach which heaved in and out rapidly.

He shook all over from only this, and he saw the horror in Grimmjow's face, as he hung, unable to do anything but watch.

"Make me the offer again." Faus whispered from behind him.

Ichigo found it hard to speak, a tightness in his chest stealing his breath, but he forced out words.

"Me instead of him."

"Are you sure?" His hand slid over his belly and found his hips.

"Y-yes." Ichigo stammered.

"I want you to really think about it." Faus insisted.

"I am. I have." He said quickly.

Faus brought his other hand back up to his stomach and pulled him tight against him, forcing him to feel the hardness pressed into his lower back.

"Imagine it, boy, imagine what I'm about to do to you." Ichigo shuddered and felt his gag reflex about to go when he was suddenly released completely. He stood shaking, but no more hands on him. Faus stepped back from him. "And now know that everything you just imagined, is going to happen to him."

"NO!"

Faus crossed the room the Grimmjow in seconds. The espada had been transfixed by the horror of what was happening to Ichigo and took a second to snap back to the feelings on his own skin. Faus wasted no time tearing the shirt from his torso and gripping him tight by the hips, pulling him forward and staring him directly in the eyes.

"I wonder, will you feel it happening to you, or to her? You certainly made each time very interesting."

Grimmjow stared back at him, his skin burning where Faus touched him as if his hands were made of acid. He felt well of fear and loathing boiling over in him, but he let only the hatred reach his eyes, his voice.

"I swear I'll kill you."

"You were never able to before, you won't stop me now."

"NO!" Ichigo screamed when Faus moved behind Grimmjow.

His stomach pulled in faster and faster, pain stabbed through his chest. "I SAID STOP!" The room began to quake. Grimmjow felt he suffocating pressure coming from the boy despite the restraints on his power. Ichigo was having a panic attack, but it was mixing into his power—fear and pain struck them all. Bach stood his ground but could do nothing to stop the build up.

"Sir!" Buzzbee threw open the door, King at his back. "He'll destroy us."

Grimmjow choked on the force. Halibel wavered in his vision, as did the rest of the room.

"Fuck." Came the King's mutter as he drew back his fist and struck the teen hard in the face. Ichigo went limp in his chains and the swell of power died. Buzzbee let out a long sigh and looked close to dropping to his knees.

"Is that really his power?"

"Just a hint," the King said. "We'll have to increase his restraints."

"He was wearing spiritual suppressors?" the soldier exclaimed.

"Yes." Ichigo sputtered back to consciousness just as the King released his chains and took his weight. The teen continued to inhale rapidly and tremours of his power still shook them.

"You are surprisingly powerful, Ichigo." He said, starting to drag him from the room. But before they left he stopped and turned back to Faus. "I didn't tell you to stop."

"What...no..NO!"

Ichigo was drug from the room.


	20. Chapter 20

"Ichigo. Ichigo!" A harsh slap brought eyes from far away. He was in a chair, in the medical room, his body shaking and breaths shallow.

"Son, look at me." Bach took his face between his hands while the doctor wrapped up the teen's wrists that had been cut open in his desperate attempts to escape his bonds. Blood had ran down his arms, into his hair and over his face, leaving faint red streaks mixed with the tears along his colour drained flesh.

"I think he's in shock." The doctor said. "You must not forget he's only a boy, and he just went through something traumatic."

"Well give him something. It's not a mental breakdown I need from him."

"I'll do what I can." The doctor finished bandaging Ichigo's wrists but when Bach withdrew and turned his back he heard Ichigo speak.

"I am going to kill you."

Bach turned back. It wasn't arrogance, or even anger, it was just pure conviction that came out of trembling lips. "I am going to because I want to, and I have never wanted to kill anyone before. Not even Aizen. I stopped him, but I didn't kill him. I wanted to kill that hollow that killed my mother—but it was not a man, not a human. I have never wanted to kill another human being until I met you."

"I am much more than human, Ichigo."

"It doesn't matter."

"So you will continue to defy me then?"

He moved back over to Ichigo. At this question, the teen lost his voice.

"That's right, because you know what defiance costs. Well, will you say it yet? Will you join me?"

Ichigo just stared at him.

"Fine." He grabbed the teen by his shirt and yanked him up. The doctor was shoved aside and Ichigo dragged along in the wake of the King. He shoved Ichigo through a heavy door—a cell. Grimmjow was on his side on the ground, an absolute mess. Ichigo fought the King's hold, but Bach held him tight, the added spiritual suppressors making him far too weak to escape. The King's arm wrapped across his chest, his hand a vice around his jaw, forcing his face forward, forcing him to take in Grimmjow's battered form. He was unconscious, clothes torn, body beaten. But Ichigo wasn't thinking about those wounds, he was imagining the worst of it all.

He sobbed. He screamed every curse, obscenity, threat, he knew. And when he was drug back out of the room from the scene, he fell to the floor of the medical room. He threw up and screamed more and cried into his arms on the floor. And Bach watched him, and waited until sobs turned to gasps, and he clutched at his chest.

"Give him something," he finally gave the doctor permission to intervene. He got a needle and filled it with a large dose of anti-anxiety medication.

"This will keep him from passing out."

"Good. He's no good to me unconscious." The doctor bent over the trembling form, but when he got close, Ichigo lurched off the floor and caught his wrist, twisting fast and sharp, freeing the needle from his hand. He took it and held it up to his chest.

"What are you doing?" The doctor tried to stop him but Ichigo didn't waste any time, shoving the syringe straight through his ribs. "He's killing himself!" The doctor screamed. Bach lunged but the teen pushed down on the plunger, determined to stop his heart.

Ichigo fell back on the floor, unmoving.

"NO!"

The ice palace shook with the King's fury. Not a being escaped that sound, that rage, that desperation, and Grimmjow came awake with a start on his cell floor.

"What the Hell was that?" He asked, the pain in his body slowing his movements. He looked up to Halibel, still feeling the vibration of the power running through the room.

"The King. He's angry—more angry than we've ever felt."

"Ichigo?"

"Must be, you should prepare yourself." "Halibel..." She moved back over to him and crouched beside him. He watched her carefully. "What happened?"

"They King brought Ichigo in to see you while you were still out. He said..."

"Shit, Ichigo." He raised a hand to his head. He'd taken a bad beating when they'd drug Ichigo from the room—but that was all. Faus had be far too weakened by Ichigo's outburst of power to do anything and it had been other soldiers who'd beaten him and burned him with Faus' tool. "They let him think it happened again."

"Yes. And now I think he's done something stupid."

"What? Halibel-"

"I don't know, but whatever it is, we probably won't be so lucky this time."

"Don't say that."

"I'm sorry, I'll protect you as much as I can." She raised a hand to his face. "But I can't stop them, and for that I am truly sorry."

His hand came up over hers. "I couldn't stop them and I had a body to defend you with."

"Let's not get into this argument again, okay? For now, this is all I can do."

He bowed his head into her hand and she wrapped her arms around him.

"It's not your fault," he whispered into her shoulder. "He controlled you, you couldn't do anything to stop him."

She said nothing. He pulled back and looked in her eyes. "We might not survive this," he began. "I need you to know, that I can never put into words how much I owe you. How much I care about you."

"Grimmjow, I'm in your head, you might as well just say it."

He nodded. "Halibel, I love you."

"I know you do, Grimmjow. But I'm hardly even real anymore, and there's a boy just down the hall you love a hell of alot more."

"Not more," he argued. "Just different."

"I know. But he's going to turn, if they keep hurting you."

"What do you suggest? I don't know how to stop it anymore than you do."

She sighed. "I know. Lay down and try to rest while you can. I'll see what I can come up with."

"Fine." He lay back on the dirty floor and tried to shut his eyes, tried to calm his mind and he knew she had a hand in pushing him back into the dream realm.

What he didn't know, was that Ichigo had just killed himself.

* * *

"I did it." Ichigo stood in his crashing inner world, knowing the shattering of the sideways glass buildings meant only one thing. "I'm dying."

"Yes you are." He spun, for once eye level with his soul. Zangetsu's pole must have crashed with the buildings.

"I'm sorry, Zangetsu, but if they were going to turn me against my friends, and keep doing this to Grimmjow, I had no choice but to kill myself."

"You do not need to explain yourself to me, but I assure you, you will not die."

"What?"

"Bach won't allow it."

"But my world-"

"This is not from what you did. This is from what you saw. This is from the rain that is drowning your soul."

"No..."

"He is winning, Ichigo. He is shattering your soul, and when this world is gone, it will be replaced by another."

"My quincy side?"

"Yes."

"But...we beat out the hollow."

"No you didn't. He is me and I am him, remember? You embraced it. You use your mask with control. You could not rid yourself of that half."

"You're saying, I need to embrace my quincy side?"

_"__No, he's not_" The echoing voice came from his back and he turned to see the negative version of himself.

"You-"

_"__I am you, Ichigo. Don't fucking embrace your quincy soul, devour it, dominate it, and use me to do it!" _"You just want control."

_"__I want what you want, King of Kings. Remember what you said to that bastard? You _want _to kill him. You told him you've never wanted that before but it was a lie—remember your fight with Ulquiorra. You wanted to spill his blood and guts all over that sand."_

"That's because you took over!" _Exactly! When you saw what happened to Grimmjow, you felt that same blood lust—you felt me. Don't let your anger kill me, and the old man—let it break me out!"_

"Ichigo took a step back from the fiend's feral grin and looked to Zangetsu, who had not argued this whole time. "You can't agree with him?"

"I agree that you must not embrace your quincy side, not now anyway. If you do, you open yourself up to Bach's control. But you must do something with that power, you must dominate it."

"Well then you can help me."

"No I can't, because you are destroying me with your pain and your anger."

"No...I didn't mean to."

"You've lost yourself, master. You don't know who you are anymore. And until you know that, I cannot be the strongest part of you."

"Then it's him?" Ichigo turned back to the white figure. "It's my inner hollow who will save me?"

"You stand at a cross roads, master, only you can choose, but I am not one of those choices. I am afraid hollow and quincy are all that are left to you."

Ichigo watched him. "This is a test, isn't it? I know I'm a soul reaper. It's the first thing I was! You've been beside me this whole time."

"It is no test. You lost yourself in that chair. And you tried, master, but without the answers from your past you seek from your father, you cannot trust in my power."

"Then I become a monster, no matter what."

"Perhaps."

"_So, what do you say, King? Want to dance on the dark side with me?"_

"Do you hate Bach?"

_"__More than anything in the universe—because you hate him that much."_

Ichigo watched him, then held out his hand. "Then whatever you do, don't let him win."

Pale fingers gripped him back._"I swear."_ And with the dark smile the world stilled, the rain let up and the buildings stopped falling to pieces.

"I'll come back, Zangetsu." Ichigo promised just before the world began to fade. "I'll find myself again, and I'll put everything to rights, I swear."

"I'll be waiting, master."

* * *

"GHA!" Ichigo came awake in agony. His chest felt like he'd been stabbed a hundred times, his heart beat irregularly and each beat was accented by unreal pain. When he finally did focus, he was met with a merciless stare.

"You almost ruined everything, Ichigo."

He just lay on the bed in the exam room trying to breathe and unable to hide the noises of pain each intake brought.

"Your heart stopped."

"That...was sort...of the point," he finally managed. He must have done some damage if he was in this much pain—that or they'd done some damage saving his life. But he saw no outward injuries now, as he stared down his bared chest, just dark purple bruising over his heart.

"Ichigo, you must know that I'll do my worst to Grimmjow for this."

"I had to try something."

"And so do I." He turned to the doctor. "Is he stable?"

"Well yes but-"

"Good. Take him to the chair."

"Wait, what? I thought I was done with that," Ichigo protested.

"Oh you are, but Grimmjow isn't."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to kill Halibel."

* * *

**_Our poor boys...I did my best to make Ichigo's reactions to what he thought had happened to Grimmjow again as realistic as possible and I wanted to show what was going on in his inner world. Hopefully I will manage to update faster (but no promises...)_**

**_Until next time,_**

**_Riza._**


	21. Chapter 21

"Grimmjow." He sat up at her voice, feeling their presence.

"Shit," he groaned. Despite her efforts to block off his pain he still struggled to sit. He looked down at one of the worst burns along his abdomen. He wished he hadn't.

"No time to throw up." Halibel said, knowing his every thought. "Do you think you can stand?"

"Why? We gonna fight it out?" He used the wall to get up. "Halibel?"

"I don't know, but wouldn't you rather face them on your own two feet?"

"Yeah, I guess." He didn't move from the wall, however, unsure that he could stay up.

"Here they come."

With that, the door banged open. There really wasn't much point in him standing as they immediately knocked him down again only to grab him by both arms and drag him from the room.

When they neared their destination, Grimmjow felt her fear.

"It's the room, Grimmjow, the room where they destroyed me."

"What?"

"Oh no...they're going to kill you. We have to fight!"

"Shit." He lost all choice when she swung. His arms were restrained but her added power was unexpected and he actually managed to break free.

"Shit." They were just outside the room, the guards stood just as startled as Grimmjow at his escape.

"Get him!'

"CASCADA!" She didn't have her sword, but that didn't seem to matter. It was by no means her full strength, but just like in Soul Society, she created enough of an attack to give them time.

"We just need to get our swords," she said to him when they were clear.

"Then we'll have twice as much power."

"Exactly."

"Where are-" She suddenly whirled on him. Grimmjow was stopped dead when her hand came up to his trachea and immobilized him.

"Nice try." The King complimented when he rounded the corner, Ichigo in toe. "But I'm afraid I still exert control over Halibel, and there is nothing you can do to stop me."

Her hand was replaced by his. Grimmjow was dragged by the throat into the room that paralysed Halibel with fear.

"Today, I get my soldier," the King announced when he dropped Grimmjow into the chair. He immediately lurched up again but a punch sent him down long enough for Buzzbee and another to strap him in.

Ichigo was thrown to the ground just a few feet from him. His focus was off, they'd given him something to control him. He lay painfully on his side, one hand over a dark bruise on his chest.

"What the fuck did you do to him?" Grimmjow demanded but Halibel called his attention to the side.

"GET OUT!" she screamed. "Grimmjow, get out of the chair!"

"What? Halibel, I can't."

"LET HIM GO!" she screeched to the King, but she remained invisible to all but Grimmjow.

"What is it, Halibel?" Grimmjow insisted.

"Does she know?" The King followed his gaze to where she manifested in his mind's eye.

"Know what?"

"That I'm going to kill her." He drew Tiburon from his belt.

"No, you can't, she's part of me," Grimmjow argued.

"I know, the strongest part of you." Bach leaned down, ran a hand through wild blue hair. "So I'm going to destroy her. Not only will you feel her die, you'll be left with all those memories that she protected you from."

"..no..." Ichigo moaned on the floor.

"Yes, Ichigo. Please try to stay conscious. I'm afraid the doctor may have sedated you a little too heavily."

"Zangetsu.." Ichigo struggled to sit, but it was to his hollow half he was pleading. "Do something..." But the drugs kept him docile, in both body and mind. His hollow self needed something more to break him free.

And it was just about to get it.

"You were my greatest failure and my greatest success." Bach backed away from Grimmjow. At his nod, Buzzbee hooked in the lines that would feed quincy power into his veins.

"I will take you back to the moment she died, Grimmjow." Bach lifted up Tiburon, "And then, I will rip her from you."

The espada looked from King, to teen, to his other half. "Halibel..."

She shook where she stood, but looked back to him. "I'm so sorry, Grimmjow."

"No."

"Goodbye."

"NO!" The machines whirled to life. His whole body lurched as the foreign power invaded it.

It wasn't about tests, or conversion or reeducation. It was about the pain, about making him and her relive it. It was about the day she lost her body. It was about making her feel agony and despair at her very end.

And it was about breaking Grimmjow, so that Ichigo in turn would lose himself.

The teen watched Grimmjow scream like he never had before—it was not his scream, it was hers, it was theirs—it was the cry of two souls in one, being ripped in half, being torn apart. It was the agony of kinship being broken, it was loss and pain that can only be felt by the soul.

And then Bach shattered Tiburon.

Ichigo was struck by the spray of water. It was harsh and cold and left the whole room drenched. The machines sparked and failed. Grimmjow slumped forward in the chair.

"Grimmjow...?"

The King didn't intervene when Ichigo moved forward on hands and knees. "Grimmjow." He put a finger to his throat. "Fuck Grimmjow!" He pushed him back in the seat when he didn't feel him breathing but the force of hitting the back of the chair brought him back, he gasped and jerked in the restraints, eyes distant and unable to focus. "Grimmjow?" Ichigo worked the straps, pulled out the tubes. Still the espada didn't speak.

"Grimmjow, please." Blue locks dripped from the last spray of her power. Ichigo leaned up and held his face. Grimmjow stared back at him, then looked up sharply.

"Halibel." The King smiled darkly. "No..." Grimmjow's hands found Ichigo and gripped him back desperately. "She can't be gone."

"She is." The King confirmed and moved forward.

"NO!" Ichigo protested at being shoved aside. Buzzbee's foot came down on his chest to keep him there. "Don't touch him."

"Oh but I can do anything to him now." The King half whispered, running a hand down Grimmjow's face. "And you'll remember it, Grimmjow, won't you? Tell me, what memories are resurfacing?"

He dropped his hand to Grimmjow's thigh. The other went rigid, then shoved him back. The King allowed it and let him lurch from the chair, only to drop on the floor when he felt every last bit of pain, saw memories long suppressed play out before his waking eyes.

"That's right. It's all coming back now."

"No..." Grimmjow gripped his head with one hand, as if he could make the memories stop. "NO! You didn't—you couldn't—this isn't real."

"It is, Grimmjow. Every last thing you see happened to you. That's reality."

"No...Halibel..."

"She's gone, forever now."

"NO!" Grimmjow collapsed into the floor, face between his hands. Above him, the King nodded to the other subordinate in the room.

"Yes Grimmjow, and because of Ichigo's continued resistance, it's going to happen to you again."

"No." Ichigo twisted under Buzzbee's foot when the other soldier crossed the room to Grimmjow. "Stay away from him!" Grimmjow fought desperately when his shoulders were gripped, when he was flipped onto his back.

"FUCK YOU!" Grimmjow screamed and reared up to strike but was sent back down with a harsh blow. He lay stunned, and unable to fight back anymore.

But Ichigo felt fire in his chest.

"Yes." He said. The King turned at once.

"What did you say?" he waved Buzzbee off of him and gripped Ichigo by the collar.

"YES!" He screamed.

"You are mine. You are a quincy." But brown eyes narrowed and the King saw defiance in them greater than when he'd first brought him here. "No."

"You just said yes, it's over."

Ichigo smiled and the King felt the dark ripple of energy escape him, despite the drugs in his system. "I wasn't saying yes to you."

His last words echoed back in his own throat. His hands came up to grip the king back and just before he threw his head forward in a head butt, his eyes turned black and yellow.

"Damn you!" The King clutched his face but threw Ichigo into the ground again. The teen's lurched but couldn't escape the hold—not until his yellow eyes fell sideways and he saw Grimmjow still doing what he could to fend off the soldier.

"GHAAAA!" The scream was that of the beast, but the movements were so much more refined. Bach rolled clear of a cero and when he turned back to Ichigo, he was something more. For a moment, Ichigo reeled back. Red striped porcelain covered his face and but he gripped it with human hands. He screamed again when a horn pushed past wild orange hair. Bach took advantage of his moment and pulled his sword.

He swung at the horn. It flew free. Ichigo stumbled back but didn't fall. In fact, his body calmed, and he lowered his hands, porcelain turning to dust, but his eyes still black and yellow.

_"__Sorry King, I'm not used to you not fighting me." _His voice echoed low, and he looked around the room. The man pinning Grimmjow had given up doing anything more than hold him down. Ichigo smiled at him and raised a hand.

_"__Scum." _The cero burned too hot and fast to be countered. Grimmjow felt the heat of it and flattened. Above him the man disintegrated to atoms.

"Fuck." Buzzbee swore but the King raised a hand.

"Who are you?"

"_I'm the one you tried to kill. But it seems you screwed up pretty bad." _He left Grimmjow and marched back toward the King. "_You wanted a quincy bastard, but I'm afraid you got a hollow instead."_

"No. I drowned you."

_"__You tried, you just miscalculated. A hollow rage will always beat out another soul. And I have to say, I feel pretty good with Ichigo cooperating. So, quincy, it's been a while since I let loose. Shall we dance?"_

He struck with the naked fist. Bach came at him with a sword. Ichigo moved quicker than the strike.

"Sonido." Bach commented. "So you really are hollow." He sheathed his sword in favour of his bow. "Quincies have been destroying hollows for years. I failed to kill you while you were inside of your master, but now that you're out here, the task will be much easier."

The battle was lost to Grimmjow who rolled onto his side trying regain his breath. With ever flash of light caused by ceros or arrows, he saw another flash of memory. With every hollow cry he heard his own. He lay on the water slicked ground, caught in a hundred memories. He saw power and lights explode, reflected a million times in a million beads of water—her power, the last of her power. The last he'd ever see of Tier Halibel.

She was gone.

_"__WHERE IS ZANGETSU!" _The roar penetrated his thoughts, but barely. He saw the room around him one second and the next he was plunging back into nightmares. He pushed himself to his knees with his eyes shut, not sure what images were reality and what were memory. He caught the edge of the chair and pulled himself up until his feet were under him.

"Zangetsu...Pantera..." He opened his eyes again, only to find Buzzbee before him.

"You're coming with me."

"No!" he protested the hands that closed over his naked shoulders but couldn't stop him. They shot out the door and Buzzbee forced him face first against the wall.

"They're destroying the place. What the Hell is he?" The soldier asked.

Grimmjow heard nothing. He was spiralling reality. He felt the hands that pinned him and remembered hands that had held him while doing much worse. This time, the memory went longer, crushed all other senses.

He screamed.

"_Grimmjow."_

The hands on him slid away. Grimmjow began to fall but a strong arm caught him. He was turned around, until he was facing those yellow eyes dead on. He caught the blubbering noise behind Ichigo and spotted Buzzbee trying to hold his stomach together—it was a fatal wound.

"You abandoned your battle with me to rescue him?" The King stepped over his dying subordinate when he pushed out the doors.

_"__What can I say?" _Ichigo shrugged. _"Hollows stick together."_

"He's no good to you now. I broke him, just look at him."

_"__I don't need any more inspiration to destroy you, quincy. You can stop trying to convince me to end you. Now then, I feel Zangetsu calling. He is such a nag."_ His arm wrapped tighter around Grimmjow and the world became a blur to blue eyes, prompting him to return to the clearer memories waiting behind his eye lids. Ichigo's restraining hold became melded with those of others. He couldn't hold onto the present, he fought against agonies long past.

_"__Fuck off."_ Ichigo growled at him when they came out of sonido in a chamber meant for only one thing. "_Do you want Pantera or not!_" He hauled Grimmjow with him to the glass case, blue light warning of more than that thin protection guarding their weapons.

_"__Zangetsu, time to go." _Ichigo tapped on the glass. Part of Grimmjow noticed his hand was white, the nails black. In the faint reflection on the glass, Ichigo did too. _"Sorry King, I think I'm going to need a little more juice." _

He let Grimmjow drop and shook out his hands. In the single movement his whole body went ghostly white—even his stawberry hair—and he cracked his neck before stepping back and holding up a hand.

The cero destroyed case and spiritual barriers. Two katanas clattered to the floor.

"He's still changed." Bach said from the entry when Ichigo picked up his blade. "Ichigo couldn't wield it properly and a hollow like you never could."

_"__Interesting take on the situation." _The hollow version of Ichigo smiled as he hefted his sword in his hand, testing out its weight and balance. _"You think, that this sword would be more dangerous in Ichigo's hands? You think that a boy who cares about protecting life would be more dangerous with a weapon of mass destruction than someone who's sole desire is to main, kill and destroy?" _He pointed Zangetsu at the King.

_"__You're an idiot."_

And with one swing, he split the ice palace of the Vandenreich Home world in two.

* * *

_**Look a fast update! And some asskicking at that. See you next time.**_

_**Riza**_


	22. Chapter 22

"_Fewf, that was a close one." _Ichigo touched down on broken sandy tile and dragged his burden after him.

"Hueco Mundo...?" Grimmjow managed in a moment of clarity, when his eyes alighted on the silver beacon in the sky and the ruins of Las Noches.

_"We can't stay here."_ Ichigo came to a halt, the sand speckling black under a steady stream that leaked past his fingers. _"Damn that bastard was quick. How the hell did he land a strike in all that? The fucking building was coming down on us and he still got me..." _He staggered another few steps, hand ever locked in Grimmjow's. _"I don't suppose you could open the Gaganta? I think my guts might come out if I move my hand."_

Grimmjow looked down at the wound. He was sporting many himself, from both the collapse and before, but he raised his other hand, still holding Pantera and broke apart the sky in black lines.

"_Oh good, you're not entirely brain dead. Come on."_ Ichigo yanked them through onto a dark street, in a world he hadn't stepped foot in for months. _"Wow, good aim." _He said when he looked up and saw the empty lot, a broom propped against a wooden beam, and a sign adverting the sale of candy. _"Alright, I think I'm going to pass out now."_

Grimmjow's hand pulled taught and Ichigo fell face down in the dirt. A moment later, a man with corn rowed hair stepped out onto the porch. Grimmjow watched him for several long seconds before collapsing next to Ichigo's hollow.

* * *

"Sir, my preliminary report." Unohana slid a packet of pages over the ancient desk. Shunsui looked at them with a sigh.

"Retsu, you've only had them for three hours, how can you have this much paper work already?"

"It's not that much."

"Please." He leaned back with a sigh that told of his exhaustion from the last harrowing days—from preparing for the next attack, to deciding not to send an invasion force to retrieve Ichigo right away—his decisions and actions weighed heavily on him and made him slouch like an old man.

"Of course." She gave him an oral run down of the report. "Ichigo is in serious condition, but his hollow powers are helping even his vital organs regenerate. At this rate, he'll be mobile in a day."

"That's a relief."

"Yes and no. He has not returned to himself. He is still hollow. I have put him in a high security room."

"Hmm. He turned hollow when Bach was trying to make him quincy?"

"My best guess is that it was a defensive mechanism, either his choice or his soul's."

"Alright, I guess we'll have to wait and see how that plays out. And the other one?"

"I treated Grimmjow's injuries, he is recovering."

"What does that mean? I mean, first thing he was crazy, but an ally. Then he was two people and the enemy. So tell me, is he our prisoner or our patient this time?"

"There are no traces of Tier Halibel inside of him. As for his mental state, I think it's safe to say he's remembered what happened to him when Bach had him the first time."

Shunsui frowned, having read the details of Unohana's earlier reports, he knew what she meant.

"Unohana, I have to ask, when you were healing Ichigo-"

"I saw no evidence of similar tactics use on him."

He let out a long breath. "Okay. So returning to the espada, what do we know?"

"He's...unstable. I have his zanpakuto and he is in a secure facility. It's up to you if I send him to a cell or if I start treating him."

"Keep him where he is. Do what you can for them both. I would prefer to have Ichigo with us when the fighting starts, but our priority is containment, and protection. Keep Ichigo from harm, but make sure he's not going to harm anyone else. Same for Grimmjow."

"Yes sir."

She left. He sagged back in his chair even further. "How did you do this job for so long, old man?" he asked the ceiling. "I just hope I'm making at least some of the right decisions."

* * *

_"Yo, little man, what's going on?" _Pale fingers tapped on spiritually reinforced glass to the healer passing by his room on the other side.

"Sorry sir, but I don't know what I'm allowed to tell you." Hanataro responded nervously.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "_Well can you tell me if the Vandenreich are here or not?"_

"Here? Oh no, they haven't attacked us again...yet."

_"Hmm, maybe I did kill Bach back there." _"Kill him? What?"

"_Oh sorry, but I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to tell you." _Ichigo crossed his arms with a smirk and narrowed yellow eyes. "_Why don't you go find someone with some real answers."_

"Ah, right. I'll be right back!" Hanataro returned with Captain Unohana. Ichigo voiced his frustration about being contained, but after they got past the cursing and threats, they go down to the real questions.

"_I cut his fucking palace in two, we ran, Bach stabbed me pretty good,"_ he summarized.

"And is there a possibility Bach was injured or killed?" _"Of course there was—everything was falling to pieces. But did I see a body? No."_

"Okay, then I have another question for you. You are Ichigo's inner hollow right?"

"_Yes."_

"Did you subdue Ichigo?"

"_He subdued himself. We worked together back there, though I needed a little extra to get the job done."_

"And now? Are you trapping him?"

At this, Ichigo shook his head. "_I honestly don't know why I came out on top when I woke up. I guess he's just not ready to face it yet."_

"Face what?"

_"That Grimmjow's melon is mush, and...that my dear old king is as blood thirsty as me."_

"I find that hard to believe."

_"So did he, but he didn't deny it either. He wants to splash in Bach's blood."_

"Why?"

Ichigo barked out a laugh. "_Did you say 'why?' Why in the hell do you think?" _His hands came up hard against the glass. "_After everything he did to us!" _

"But Ichigo didn't express these feelings before."

_"Of course he didn't, you lot wouldn't approve now, would you?"_

_"_No, I think it's something more. Tell me why Ichigo isn't here right now. Tell me what's really made him so scared he can't come out of his own world."

_"He's not scared, he's fucking traumatized." _He said it before he could stop himself.

"Why?" Unohana pressed.

_"Because," _And he dropped his eyes to the floor, and all that hollow hatred and menace slipped from his voice with his next words. _"We couldn't save him."_

* * *

"It's okay." Unohana soothed as she slid the needle under his skin. He shook so violently she drew blood. "Shhh." She tried to sooth but her only choice was to administer the medication and hope it helped him calm down. She withdrew the needle and bandaged the now bleeding puncture point.

"Grimmjow." She tried to get his eyes on her. "Grimmjow can you hear me?"

She was startled when his hands came up to grip her back. He held her shoulders hard, but not to hurt her, it was as if he needed the grip to stay focused on the present.

"Where is Ichigo?"

"Recovering."

He seemed to think about this, as if trying to remember what happened. Then he jerked as something else surfaced and he withdrew, gripping the side of the bed on which he sat.

"Grimmjow?"

"They destroyed her..."

"Halibel?"

"They took everything from me..."

"Grimmjow-"

"EVERYTHING!" He went from trembling in fear and confusion to utter rage in seconds. She let him push past her off the bed, the room was minimally furnished and there wasn't much he could use against her. His body shook from the strain of all it had been through but more, from the raw spiritual output escaping him now. She noted the spiritual reinforced glass wobbling. Even the suppressors of this room might not be enough.

"Grimmjow please try to calm down."

"Calm down? CALM DOWN? You don't know what they did to me?!"

"But I do."

He whirled and was on her in a flash—yes, this room would not be enough to contain him. Her back hit the wall hard, though if she tried, she was confident she could free herself.

"You don't know! You can't know! What they did, how it felt, what it broke inside of me." His fingers dug into her shoulders enough to draw blood. He stared her down with menace and fury.

"You're right Grimmjow, I don't know that. I am sorry."

He held her a little longer before letting her go and walking away, back to the other side of the room.

She waited for the next outburst but he just put a hand to the wall and she saw it slip sideways.

"Grimmjow?" She hurried to him when he crashed to knees, when he gripped his chest and his breath sounded strained.

"You're having a panic attack." She had already given him medication against this but it didn't seem enough. "Just hold on, I'll get more-"

Her words died when she looked up and saw a white face in the glass wall of the room. Hanataro ran into corridor and stopped abruptly when he saw Ichigo.

"Damn." The curse dropped from Unohana before she could stop herself. Not only had she lost control of Grimmjow but now Ichigo was out of his room.

There was a crack, the glass wall shattered under a mere touch. Ichigo stepped over the shards.

_"__Grimmjow." _He grabbed him by the shirt and hauled him back to his feet.

"He needs medication." Unohana warned, hand hovering at her hip, unsure of the hollow's intentions.

_"__He needs Ichigo." _The hollow answered her, pulling the espada against him in a tight hold and she recognized his stance.

"Don't-" They were gone in a flash. She stood in the shattered remains of the supposedly secure room, Hanataro staring back at her from the other side.

"He got out of his room." He stated eventually.

"So it would seem. I think I better talk to the Head Captain."

* * *

"_Shhh, shhh, you aren't going to help yourself by passing out." _Ichigo admonished when he landed with Grimmjow in soft ground, once meticulously groomed and well kept, now a mess of churned earth leading right up to the edge of the koi pond.

"What are you doing?" Grimmjow said between agonized breaths.

_"__Trying to fix you!"_

"Let go of me. LET GO OF ME!" Ichigo complied, not only letting him go but giving him a shove. He landed hard on the deck of the manor.

_"__Stop shouting at me!" _Ichigo stomped onto the deck after him. _"I'm only trying to keep you from going off the deep end like my King!" _

"FUCK YOU!" Grimmjow screamed into the floor boards.

"What the hell?" A third voice roared and threw open the door. Renji stopped short, seeing the pair. He was in off duty robes, bandages around the skin that was exposed. Beyond, Rukia was propped on pillows on a bed, her face pale.

"Ichigo." Renji stammered. "You're-"

_"__Back off!" _Ichigo knocked the captain back with ease. Renji crashed to the floor and was slow to pick himself up. When he did, Ichigo had already returned his attention to the deteriorating espada.

"_You need to snap the fuck out of it."_

"Snap out of it...?" Grimmjow's nails bit into the floor boards. "There's no snapping out of this!"

_"Why not?" _Ichigo planted a foot on his side and rolled him onto his back so he could look him in the eyes. _"You going to let it destroy you?"_

"It's not a fucking choice!"

Ichigo dove on him, hauling him up by his shirt collar. He crouched before him, Grimmjow sat, hanging in the grip. He was shaking, and Ichigo saw it in his eyes.

"I didn't choose this, Ichigo." Grimmjow half whispered. "They killed her—while she was in my head, my soul." His hands came up to grip that pale face. "And I wish I could say that was the worst part."

Ichigo's fingers tightened, but his voice came out equally low. _"Ichigo is drowning. I was supposed to save him but...our world is still shattering. He needs you, Grimmjow, or everything will crumble, and the quincy will take over!"_

"HOW CAN I SAVE HIM?" Grimmjow's screams broke the calm, his hands clenched into white hair. "I couldn't save her! I couldn't even save myself."

"_And neither could Ichigo. It's all his fault and he knows it. Everything they did to you was because of him."_

At this, Grimmjow stilled. His hands dropped from Ichigo and went limp at his sides.

"What?"

_"You can't be surprised? That's what's killing him. That and-" _Those black and yellow eyes creased in pain at the memory. "_And what he saw with Faus in that room."_

Renji had been stunned into silence. He watched on in horror, fearing what all their words meant, the picture they painted.

"Don't you dare say it."

_"They raped you, because of him."_

"GHA!" Grimmjow broke free and swung directly at that white face. Ichigo dodged and let him fall back on the wood. "Tell me he's not that much of an idiot!" He shoved himself back up, though ever sitting. "Tell me he doesn't really believe that."

_"Of course he does, he's Ichigo Kurosaki. Everything sits on his shoulders and you know it."_

"He's an idiot! And he's an asshole, for putting this on me! I can't save him. I can't do anything-"

_"Why?" _Ichigo grabbed him again._ "You're alive, you survived. You were hurt worse than anything but you got Pantera back, you got Ichigo. You got everything you need to get revenge. SO TAKE IT! Save Ichigo, and save what's left of you pride."_

Grimmjow watched him for a long moment. His voice shook when he spoke next.

"You think about how Ichigo felt when Faus had his hands on him—when he thought it was going to happen to him." He saw at once the shift in pale features, from anger to something else—something foreign on such a hate-filled face. "And you tell me this is something I can just get over." Ichigo continue to hold him for a long moment, then his fingers relaxed, he watched the first tear spill down Grimmjow's face, and he pulled him against him before he broke completely.

* * *

_**I've been on a writing roll lately so I hope to continue updating on a weekly basis (though now that I've said that I've probably jinxed myself). Anyway, I am working on another Ichigo and Grimmjow piece that I hope to start uploading soon. Thanks for your reviews!**_

_**Riza**_


	23. Chapter 23

"Where are they?" The Head Captain was met at the door by Renji. Unohana was at his back.

"This way, sir." He took them though the main room where Rukia sat, tightly bound by bandages. Her eyes were fixed on the corridor beyond, and when the captain came around the corner they understood why.

Grimmjow hugged the toilet bowl while he threw up. Ichigo sat on the edge of the bathtub watching him with a frown. It turned to a scowl when he saw the other three.

_"__Can't we get some privacy?"_

"You broke out of the Fourth." Kyoraku responded evenly.

_"__No one told me I couldn't leave."_

There was little point arguing with him, what they did need to determine was the threat level.

"What are your intentions?"

_"__To fucking destroy the Vandenreich before they destroy Ichigo." _He answered bluntly.

"At all costs?"

"_Of course."_

"That's what I thought." Kyoraku sighed. "You could destroy this world in the process of trying to kill one man."

_"__To hell with one world if it means taking that bastard down. Doesn't matter what you think. You can't stop me."_

He stood and stepped over Grimmjow who had stopped heaving and now watched the tension between the two men.

_"__You have to decide what you want to risk more:the chance of losing a few buildings—or losing the war against Bach."_

"It's not you I want on the battlefield, but Ichigo."

_"__Well that ain't my problem, he's the one in hiding, and if you try to keep me locked up and away from Grimmjow, I promise you won't see Ichigo again."_

Unohana put a hand on Kyoraku's shoulder. He understood, she'd already explained what she'd come to understand of Ichigo's condition. He let out a long breath.

"I'll keep hold of Zangetsu until the fighting starts."

_"__Fuck you!"_

"Ichigo." Grimmjow grabbed the sink and did his best to stand.

_"__I ain't letting these soul reaper bastards keep me from my sword, especially after they did shit to save us when we were taken."_

"Ichigo..." but whatever Grimmjow had planned to say to reason things out was lost as he scanned those in the doorway, felt trapped in the small bathroom, too many eyes on him.

_"__Grimmjow?" _Ichigo gripped him and saw what was wrong. _"Just back the fuck off, okay?" _He shouted at the soul reapers.

"Give me your word that you agree to my terms and I'll let you be."

_"__Fuck you!"_

"Ichigo!" Grimmjow's hand clenched in the pale man's robes, he gripped the sink and his breath came strained.

"Do we have a deal?" Kyoraku pressed.

_"__Fucking fine, you bastard. You have a deal." _

"Good." The soul reaper instantly backed off. Ichigo slammed the door shut behind him them and pressed Grimmjow into his chest.

_"__I've got you. But you have got to snap out of it. We'll never beat the Vandenreich like this."_

"Ichigo...air, I need air."

Ichigo drug them outside. Grimmjow extricated himself from the other's hold and staggered over to the edge of the koi pond, hand half covering his eyes.

_"__Yo, you still with me?" _He only got a nod as a response. When Grimmjow dropped his hand, he was staring at the reflective surface of the water. He noticed there weren't actually any koi in the water now, and he recalled the brutal fight in the yard and Renji plunging in it. That was probably enough of a disturbance to kill them.

For some reason that bothered him deeply.

"Ichigo," he started, still staring at the pond, "Faus didn't do it to me this last time, your power affected him too much, they just beat me up."

"_I know, Unohana told me."_

"Then wake up. There's no reason to be upset." He said it without turning to the black and white version of his friend. "Please."

_"__Sorry, Grimmjow, you're stuck with me." _

"But you said you're drowning. You said your world is shattering...you won't be able to fight like that."

_"__Eventually, no I won't, but for now, I'm the strongest one of us."_

Grimmjow shut his eyes. "If I lose Ichigo, I've got nothing."

_"__Well tell him that. Maybe he'll stop drowning us if he knows."_

"But if he doesn't come back, how do I tell him?"

_"__I guess you gotta hope he's listening."_

* * *

The rain pounded heavy on the roof of the manor but it still wasn't loud enough to mask the gasp of the man who shot awake and breathed as if he'd just resurfaced.

"Halibel!"

_"__She's gone." _Ichigo was already sitting. Grimmjow's chest was heaving, it took him a long moment to return from the nightmare, but when he did, he found Icigio next to him, their mattresses pushed together. _"What?" _Ichigo asked when Grimmjow shoved the sheets back and stood.

"You're not him." Grimmjow muttered.

_"__Fuck you, I'm here and he isn't." _Ichigo rose, hostile.

"You can't replace him."

_"__That's exactly what I've done! I'm better than him, I'm the one who saved you, not him!"_

He stomped forward, Grimmjow immediately took several steps back.

_"__What? Are you afraid of me? All I've done is hold your fucking hand since I surfaced. Don't freak out on me now." _

"Fuck you!" Grimmjow slammed open the door and marched out into the storm. They were at the back of the manor, just grass and a high wall for privacy. Grimmjow slowed in the onslaught of rain and looked up, despite the pelting water against his face.

_"__They both left you Grimmjow," _Ichigo said from the porch, protected under the roof. _"I'm the only one left take care of you."_

"I tried to take care of them both, but I failed."

_"__Well, now you've got me, you don't need to take care of me."_

"Is that why Ichigo won't come back? Is it because he knows I can't protect him?"

_"__Maybe."_

"You don't want him to take over again though, do you?"

At this, Ichigo stepped out into the rain to join him, face set, eyes cold. _"You know the answer to that."_

"Are you keeping him trapped in there?"

_"__I already told you, he doesn't want to come back."_

"Maybe not at first, but not now. I don't think he'd let you take control like this, not willingly."

_"__Why, Grimmjow? Why do you even care? You'll snap again in a few minutes anyway, what difference does it make who's catches you when you fall?"_

Grimmjow set his jaw. "And why do you care? You're the darkest part of him, so why in the world have you protected me?"

_"__Because I _am_ Ichigo, and I _am,_ his basest part, his deepest desires."_

A white hand came up and gripped his cheek. Grimmjow smacked it away. They stood in the torrential downpour, staring one another down.

"Don't touch me."

_"__And do you know what that basest desire is, Grimmjow?" _

"I said don't touch me!" He scrambled back, but Ichigo was faster. They wrestled briefly before Ichigo caught him, held him from behind, one hand around his waist, the other had his chin in a vice grip. Grimmjow struggled to breathe between the pressure of the hold, and the panic in his chest. "Get off of me you bastard."

_"__Ichigo's basest desire—"_

"Don't!"

_"Is to save you."_

Grimmjow was suddenly let go. Ichigo stepped back. "_You can't even trust in him_. _That's why he can't come back. That's why he's drowning. That's why I can't do anything to save him or you!"_

"Ichigo-"

_"No, fuck you Grimmjow! You're right, you can't save him!" _He took hold of Grimmjow by the back of his neck and steered him toward the porch. Grimmjow stumbled out of the rain but found himself alone. He turned back, to find Ichigo frozen where he stood, staring at his hand, the rain splashing back against it.

"Ichigo?"

The pale man shook himself, but when he looked up he winced and clutched his head.

"Ichigo?" Grimmjow jumped back into the rain and pulled him into the shelter. "What is it?"

_"__The rain..." _His voice was uncharacteristically soft.

"It reminds you of your inner world."

_"__So much rain...he's coming..."_

"Ichigo!"

_"__He'll kill us all."_

"Bach?"

_"__No...him, the one who would be king..."_

"Ichigo I don't-" But then Grimmjow understood the distant look in hollow eyes, the pain in hateful features. "The quincy?"

"_He'll come once he's drowned us all."_

"No." Grimmjow pulled Ichigo closer and wrapped his arms around him. "Don't you dare give up, Ichigo."

_"__It would be easier if you didn't give up." _Came a forced growl. Ichigo was suffering from whatever was taking place in his inner world.

"I haven't given up...it's just...I can't control how I'm feeling..."

_"__Well neither can Ichigo!" _

"He has to stop blaming himself."

_"__He can't." _

"ICHIGO!" Grimmjow pulled him back, held his face tight between shaking, frozen fingers. "It was not your fault. Trust me." He leaned in close, pressed their foreheads together, felt the trembling in the very soul of the man he held. "Listen to me Ichigo, please." He shut his eyes and pressed their mouths together. They held the kiss only briefly, but he felt Ichigo go almost limp against his chest, and he pressed him close and whispered into his ear."Please don't give up."

Ichigo shook against his chest, in a familiar, painful way.

Grimmjow held him tight.

And the rain thundered on.


	24. Chapter 24

"It's been a long time, since you held me like this."

"Ichigo?" Grimmjow had been holding him tight against him, even in sleep. He shifted now at the sound of his voice and looked down on pale, but human coloured flesh. "Ichigo are you back?"

"I don't know." Came the trembling answer. Grimmjow rolled him over, so he was facing him. Yellow and black eyes still met him, but it was Ichigo's voice for certain.

"It's you." Grimmjow said back with certainty. "What's going on in there?"

"It's bad Grimmjow...I can't stop the rain, I can't stop it crumbling."

"You have to let go of what happened. They didn't—nothing happened last time. You know that right?"

"I heard.."

"Then what?"

"It's all of it Grimmjow. It's everything they did to you, to Halibel just so they were ready for me. They killed her Grimmjow, because of me."

Grimmjow shut his eyes, but shook his head. "Don't. Ichigo please stop. He's a bastard, and he's more evil than Aizen ever thought of being. You can't put what he does on your shoulders."

"But Grimmjow-"

"DON'T!" He shouted suddenly, gripping naked shoulders with brutal force. "Ichigo don't do this! I'm barely holding it together here, I need you to at least do the same. If you break because of what they did to me then it's over, everything was for nothing and Bach wins."

"Grimmjow..."

"No I'm serious Ichigo, you gotta leave that shit behind and figure out what Zangetsu needs from you, cause otherwise you're gonna turn into that hollow permanently—or worse."

"The quincy side."

"Yes."

"It's waiting, Grimmjow, I can feel it. It's waiting to take over."

"Then that's exactly why you need to take control again. You need to fix whatever is going wrong in there."

Ichigo let out a long breath. "I know. I will fix it, but it's going to take time. Zangetsu said I don't trust in him anymore."

"And you trust in your hollow?"

"He's...he saved you."

Grimmjow shook his head. "You saved me long before that. And you're going to save yourself now. Go fix what's wrong, before Bach comes back."

"You know what that means though, right? My hollow is going to come back."

"That's okay, I can wait for you."

Ichigo looked up at him, then bowed his head into his chest.

"Okay, see you on the other side."

"See ya."

It took seconds for his body to stiffen, for his flesh to fade to white and Grimmjow unwrapped his arms from around the hollow version of Ichigo.

"_Guess you got through to him after all."_

"Yeah..."

_"__Good, cause it wasn't a pretty sight in there."_

"Will you really give up control when he needs to take it back?"

_"__Now why would I do that?" _

"Because it's Ichigo's body." Grimmjow rolled away from him and stood. In the night, they'd stumbled in here drenched and peeled off wet clothing. Now he redressed while Ichigo lay in bed and watched him.

_"__Well, I want it to be my body, and I wouldn't mind sharing it with you."_

"Put your damn clothes on."

_"__Don't be such a spoil sport." _Ichigo complained when Grimmjow tugged a shirt over his muscular torso. Ichigo complied, dressing in fresh clothes from his stores from the world of the living. He turned back to find Grimmjow right behind him.

"I mean it, when the time comes, you better let him come back to the top."

_"__We'll see."_

"Dammit, don't you know what's at stake?"

_"__Did you really just ask me that question?"_ Ichigo stepped forward until his breath was right on Grimmjow. _"It's my world that crumbling and not yours!" _Grimmjow took a step back and Ichigo relaxed a little.

_"__Well, maybe you do know what that feels like, but it's different."_

"I know it's fucking different." Grimmjow shoved out of the room and through the manor. He barely registered Renji with a tray of food in hands, heading to Rukia's room.

"Hey-"

"SHUT UP!"

Renji stood and watched Grimmjow storm outside, Ichigo a step behind him.

"_Don't go all crazy on me again."_

"Just leave me alone."

_"__Where are you going?"_

"None of your damn business."

_"__What's your problem?"_ Ichigo caught his shoulder, Grimmjow rolled out of the grip but came to a stop.

"You know what my problem is, but I can't make it go away like Ichigo can with his."

_"__It's not fucking easy to save your inner world from collapsing, you know!"_

"I do know, because I have to do the same thing, but I can't go fight or talk it out with Pantera."

_"__Then what?"_

"I need some advice."

_"__So what, you gonna trust Unohana with this shit?"_

"Why, you have a better suggestion?"

_"__Me, obviously. We're the only hollows in this joint, we want the same things, right?"_

"Every time I try to talk about it we fight."

_"__Fine, you want me to hold your hand and let you cry on my shoulder?"_

"Fuck you!" Grimmjow shoved him and tried to turn away but Ichigo caught his wrist. Grimmjow turned with the harsh tug and brought his other fist straight into Ichigo's nose.

_"__You fucker!"_

"I told you to leave me alone." Grimmjow defended. "Ichigo needs to sort his shit out and I need to sort out mine."

_"__Oh we're going to sort it, right now." _Ichigo lowered his hand from his bloodied nose. _"Come on, give me your best shot."_

"You can't fight me now, not when Ichigo's busy-" His head snapped sideways at the punch.

_"Watch me."_

"Idiot." Grimmjow straightened. "It's pointless."

_"__I disagree." _In a flash of movement he was behind him. Grimmjow's knee went out but he rolled forward and avoided a second strike. Ichigo had flashed before him though and caught his wrist and he came up and used his momentum against him. They turned together and next thing Grimmjow was on the lawn, Ichigo on top of him.

_"__Come on, Grimmjow, that was pathetic. You didn't even try." _

"Get off of me!"

_"__Why, does it bring up bad memories?" _

"You bastard!" Grimmjow tried to push up but Ichigo came down on him hard, pinning his shoulders flat against the ground.

_"__What's your problem? What do you want to say to Unohana that you don't want to say to me?"_

"Nothing."

_"__LIAR!" _

"Get off of me!"

_"__Not until you tell me! What is it? What won't you say?" _

"Everything! Everything Ichigo, everything! I don't know how to swallow it back every minute of every day! I don't know how to breathe half the time! Are you gonna help me with that? Are you gonna tell me how to get through a day without having a fucking panic attack or breakdown?"

_"__You'll get through with my help."_

"No I won't. Let me go."

_"__No, this is all bullshit. If you go to her they'll lock you up."_

"I doubt it."

_"__But you don't know! And they'll separate us, that's for damn sure. They don't want me around, but they're afraid to mess up Ichigo and they know you keep me in line. If you go to them, then you leave me exposed."_

"All you have to do is wait for Ichigo to figure things out."

_"__No, what I have to do, is beat the fucking King of the Vandenreich when he gets here—before he can hurt you again. I'll get my vengeance, for everything he did to us both."_

"Ichigo's the one who has to face him."

_"__Ichigo doesn't have the balls and we both know it. All he has to do is keep that other fucker out of our world."_

Grimmjow balked at this. "What did you say? Is that really your plan? Is that why you let Ichigo out this morning?"

_"__What are you talking about?"_

"You needed to save Ichigo to save yourself. But you don't want him to get all the way there—you don't want him to get better enough that he'll come out on top again."

_"__Of course I don't, idiot. Are you just figuring this out?"_

"You bastard." Grimmjow made another wrestle to get free but failed. "You'll lose in the end."

At this, Ichigo sat a back a bit, as if considering. _"You know what, you're right, that King of mine always manages to get the upper hand in the end—but who is it that always pulls him out of the fire? Who is it that's saved his ass time and time again. Me. Without me Grimmjow, he'd be dead long ago, and he knows it. He also knew what I'd try to do when I surfaced this time, but he agreed. Why you might ask? To save your ass this time. So quit bitching about it. I need you to stick close so these assholes don't lock me up. Last thing you or Ichigo needs is for me to be behind bars when Bach comes."_

He rolled off of Grimmjow and stood. The espada was slow to rise, considering the heated words.

"Do you really think they'd lock you up?"

_"__Of course they would. Come on." _He held out his hand. Grimmjow took it and was pulled up to his feet. _"Let's get some food."_

"Fine."

They walked back inside. Renji and Rukia were completely ignored where they stood on the porch.

"That was the most dysfunctional thing I've ever seen." The captain turned to his lieutenant.

"Agreed."

* * *

"Where is Ichigo?" Renji stepped back into the kitchen. He glanced around for the negative version of his friend.

"Shower." Grimmjow said over his tea. He was at the counter, apparently recovered from the massive blow up less than twenty minutes ago.

"Are you alright?" Renji leaned on the table next to Grimmjow. The espada just shrugged. "He stopped you from leaving here today. What was that all about?"

"Nothing, it's fine."

"Grimmjow." Renji let out a long sigh. "This whole situation is crazy. I'm hardly capable of stopping either of you if you decided to leave here, and yet the Head Captain left you in my care. That's a testament to how insane things are right now, getting ready for the next attack. Ichigo is my friend, and I don't want to see him get forgotten in all this. He _is_ alright, isn't?"

"He will be."

"What's that mean?"

"It means he's working on it." Grimmjow met his eyes. "Trust him. He's gotta sort out what Bach messed up in his inner world. When he does, he'll come back."

"Did he tell you that?"

Grimmjow nodded. "This morning, he was awake."

"He was?"

"But he had to go back. So we get his hollow in the mean time."

"And that just now? He's not hurting you is he?"

"What do you mean by that?"

Renji realized the accidental implication he'd made; Grimmjow's fingers were white around his cup.

"I mean you were just fighting out in the yard." He clarified.

"I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me. Like I said, Ichigo is my friend, and since he's technically not here right now, I need to look out for what he cares about."

"I said I'm fine. He is still Ichigo, he wouldn't hurt me."

"If he ever slipped too far towards the beast, he could, Grimmjow. Maybe it's best if you have some space from each other. I could arrange for you to go to Unohana's and-"

_"__Bastard." _The door slammed in the bathroom. Renji stiffened at once, seeing the rage in Ichigo's face. _"What did I tell you Grimmjow? They want to separate us. They want to lock me up, probably you too!"_

"Don't be an idiot, that's not what I was saying." Renji rounded the table to get to Ichigo before the hollow got to Grimmjow. "If you want to do what's best for Grimmjow you'll let him get the help he needs."

_"__We do not need help from you assholes."_

"Ichigo, he didn't mean-"

_"__The hell he didn't Grimmjow. Since when did you get so trusting of the Soul Reapers huh? Come here."_

He stalked around the table and hauled Grimmjow from his seat.

"Ichigo calm down."

_"__I am calm, but I'll be better when we're on our own." _

"Now hold on." Renji warned, hand hovering at his side. "You know you have to stay here."

"_And you know you can't stop us. Later Renji."_

"Dammit!" Renji swore when a wind blew past and he was alone.

* * *

"What are we doing here?" Grimmjow stared up at the tower of the twelfth division. "I thought you didn't like this place."

_"__I don't. Just wait here." _Grimmjow didn't have much choice. Ichigo left him behind. He waited, pretty sure he knew where this was going, but unable to stop the mad man now. When Ichigo returned with two swords in hand, his suspicions were confirmed.

"_Just like last time we escaped the enemy"_

"This is nothing like that." Grimmjow barked, but strapped his sword to his side. Ichigo watched him.

_"__What, no protest?"_

"Honestly Ichigo, it's probably better for you not to be around the soul reapers since you're so fucking paranoid."

_"__Alright then, shall we?"_ He held out his hand to Grimmjow, the other took it, and then they were flying through space.

_This is good._ Ichigo announced when they emerged out of sonido in a large open cavern.

"What is this place?"

_"__The inspiration for Urahara's basement, or at least one of them. He made training grounds that would hide spiritual pressure a long time ago."_

"Oh. But the Soul Reapers must know about them."

_"__Some of them, but this one wouldn't be known by as many, I don't think, unless that old cat tells them."_

Grimmjow didn't get the reference but surveyed the expansive desert and craggy hills. "Well, it's as good a place as any to wait for Bach."

_"__Come on, let's see if he made any shelters."_

They came to one after only ten minutes of looking. It was sheltered by higher rocks that had made it difficult to spot. It was a small hut, made for two or three at most. But it had the essentials, they'd been fine here until the world went to shit again.

_"__We should train." _Ichigo suggested. Grimmjow eyed the sword that had turned the ice city into icicles.

"Or not."

_"__Hmm, you have a point."_

"Is Ichigo figuring that out too?"

_"__We'll see."_

Grimmjow just nodded.

_"__You okay?"_

"I guess. I'm just beat." It must have only been noon but he was exhausted from the long night and the intense fight with Ichigo.

_"__Then go to sleep."_ Ichigo instructed. Grimmjow watched him crack his neck and guessed he was just as tired. So he lay down as he was on one of the old mats. The dry desert air had kept it from getting musty or mouldy. When he shut his eyes, it didn't take long to go under, but he knew it wouldn't take long to wake up again either.

* * *

_"__Hey Grimmjow, you're here, remember? Grimmjow?"_

He knew the memories would come with sleep, that was when they were clearest. But he couldn't not sleep. He'd tried, for three days in this damn cave, he'd tried staying awake, or sleeping in such small bouts he couldn't dream. But that hadn't helped. He'd gotten light-headed and groggy, and the nightmares had come to waking eyes. Ichigo had demanded he sleep, but he'd fought it, feared it, and now the other must have understood, as he held him back tight, the throes of the nightmare still wracking him.

_"__Grimmjow! You're okay!"_

A hand on the back of his head kept his face tight to Ichigo's chest. His own were wrapped in the white cotton of his t-shirt.

"It won't stop..." He stammered, smelling his own tears in Ichigo's shirt.

_"__It will."_

But he lost the ability to speak, to breathe, to know up from down and maybe that why he wasn't even aware of when Ichigo pulled him up and out of the cabin. He only knew when he was falling and suddenly consumed in shocking cold.

_"__Better?"_ Ichigo asked when he dragged him back up to the surface of the lake that stretched over one area of the cavern. Grimmjow was still sputtering but found his legs and stood up, scrubbing his face with both hands. He just nodded in response, the physical shock had been enough to break the endless cycle of memories boiling in his brain.

_"__Good. You might as well take a bath, you're a friggin mess."_

Grimmjow waited for Ichigo to leave. The other gave a sigh, as if he had hoped to stick around but he sauntered off elsewhere. When he was alone, Grimmjow pulled off his clothes and spread them out to dry under the strange false sun of this realm. He sank in the waters and basked in the cold refreshing feeling, let it spread all through him before he made his way back to the surface to dry off.

He changed back into his boxers but his jeans were still sopping wet, so he sat at the edge of the lake, letting his feet stay soaked int he cold, and he lay Pantera over his knees.

And he meditated.

It had been a very long time since he'd shut his eyes and gone deep down into his soul. And it was the first time he'd done it since everything Bach did to him. And he saw just how he'd been shattered to pieces by ripping Halibel from him. He saw why his chest pained him, and why his mind was never at peace.

And he knew that it wasn't like with Ichigo. There was no battle to fight, no way he could put himself together again through sheer force of will.

He came back to the surface, hands tight to his blade, and head bowed in the deepest pain.

_"__What did you see in there?"_ A hand caught his chin and pulled it up. Ichigo stood in the water before him, looking down at the fresh pain in his eyes.

"I saw where she used to be."

Ichigo's hand slid up the side of his cheek and he held him with a long gaze. _"I could fill that space."_ He leaned in, both hands coming up to hold Grimmjow's face. But Grimmjow pulled back from the kiss.

"You're not him."

_"__And he's not her, so what's the difference?" _Ichigo pressed him down flat on to the ground, their feet still in the cold water but the heat of the dry desert beneath Grimmjow's back.

"Would you?" Grimmjow didn't push, shove or fight, he just stared back up at him, eyes simmering with all the emotions he was designed not to feel.

_"__I keep telling you," _he leaned all the way down and pressed a firm kiss against pale lips, but he pulled back again and lay his head on Grimmjow's chest. "_I am Ichigo—and all Ichigo wants is to protect you."_

"He's ready to come back, isn't he?"

_"__Almost. And then he'll fight me."_

"What's it like in there?"

_"__Like watching a train wreck most of the time. Like being in a prison and watching a soap opera play out."_

"I guess I understand why you don't want to go back. I wonder if that's what it was like for Halibel."

_"__Is that the worst part? Is it her death you dream about or is it what they did?"_

"All of it I guess, but when I wake up, it's always that moment I feel, when he ripped her apart, when I felt her leave me."

_"__I'll fucking tear him limb from limb, Grimmjow. He'll suffer for it all."_

"I hope he does, and I wish I could do it myself."

_"__Will you stay here, where it's safer, when it all goes down?"_

"You know I won't."

_"__But you know you're not fit to fight."_

"I'll die fighting if that's what it takes, but I will fight, Ichigo. It's all I can do now, to take back even an ounce of what he took from me."

_"__Well I can't argue with that."_

"Good."

_"__You sure you can't pretend I'm the King?"_

"I'm sure." Grimmjow grunted and Ichigo rolled off of him.

_"__Worth a shot." _He snorted. _"Well if you think you're going to fight, show me some mo-" _The whole world shuddered and shook. Grimmjow's felt the sky above their cave split with spiritual force. He shut his eyes and took a calming breath. Then he felt something soft land against his chest—his clothes.

"_Get dressed. It's show time."_


	25. Chapter 25

"Are we too late?"

Smoke whispered up above the Seireitei and Grimmjow squinted his eyes to see the damage.

_"__No, it's just started." _Ichigo pointed to the gap in space where Vandenreich still filtered through to this world. _"And now it's about to end."_

"Hey!" Grimmjow caught Ichigo's arm. "Be smart about this."

"_Always." _He grinned in a way that reminded Grimmjow of the feral blood lust that had once burned through his own veins. Now though, he just felt a sickening weight as he looked up at the sky, filling with battles.

They ran for the hills, arriving in seconds. And it only took seconds for Grimmjow to lose Ichigo in the confusion of battle. He knew where the teen was going—he only had one target in mind. Grimmjow dodged an explosion and looked up, spotting Bach almost at once.

"Ichigo! Dammit, you're not ready!" Ichigo's inner world was in turmoil. How in the hell did his hollow think he could win while in a state like that?

"Grimmjow!" He looked up and saw Renji rocketing toward him. "Tell me Ichigo is back." He said when he landed next to him.

"Sorry." Grimmjow pointed to where Ichigo cut through an enemy who stood between him and Bach.

"He could destroy this whole friggin' place," Renji cursed.

"So why didn't you come for us? It couldn't have taken 3 days to figure out where we were."

"Honestly," Renji lowered his eyes back to Grimmjow, "I think everyone's so afraid of the Vandenreich, they're willing to let Ichigo give it a shot, even if we lose Seireitei—the risk of losing to the Vandenreich is too great."

"Well then back up, because the last time they faced off, we barely made it out of the rubble."

"We should warn the younger soul reapers to keep back. Stick with me."

Grimmjow didn't want to take his eyes off Ichigo, but part of him knew he'd only be a liability. He tightened his grip on Pantera. "Okay, lead the way."

* * *

Grimmjow withdrew Pantera from the skull of another Vanenreich. He watched the body collapse, void of emotion.

"Grimmjow?" He looked up. Renji had blood dripping down from his hair line but he ignored the wound staring hard at the espada. "You okay?"

"Why?"

"You just...nevermind, now's not the time." Though standing in the middle of a raging battlefield, Renji couldn't help but be startled by the way Grimmjow took down his enemies with the same expression he'd worn while drinking tea three mornings ago.

But the thought left him when they heard the cry above, the whole sky split under a massive arc of black.

Then the hill flattened from the force of power.

"Ugh.." Renji reeled on his back, the impact had forced the breath out of him, and it took him a long moment to recover. When he sat, he realized he was one of the lucky ones. "Hell..."

"That was..." Grimmjow was on his knees but he drove Pantera's point into the ground and stood. He was the only one—the entire hill where they'd been fighting was scattered with unconscious Vandenreich and Soul Reapers. In the distance, a white tower smoked, the tips of it crumbling and collapsing down. "He's out of control," Grimmjow finished. "Ichigo..."

"Grimmjow don't go." Renji warned, still struggling up.

"He's not going to win."

"Grimmjow, if you go up there, you have no chance." But Renji watched him and felt his heart sink, a terrible truth dawned on him. Grimmjow met his eyes. "You don't want to survive this do you?"

Blue eyes dropped to the burnt earth for a long moment, then they rose again, a steadiness in them, a calm. "I never really came back from that place...Bach took everything in that chair and I know I'll never get it back."

"You need help."

But he shook his head. "All I've felt since then, is the pain, the panic and fear. I never used to feel those things. And the things I did feel, are gone."

"Ichigo's been gone, you haven't had the chance to get better."

"I don't think even Ichigo can fix this." He turned his face heavenward again. Another powerful strike swept through the sky, though this time upward and they weren't hit by the power. "Ichigo should have come back by now. Something's wrong. He would face Bach himself."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean-" but a horrible, hollow cry filled the air, and they both stood rooted, squinting to see what Bach was doing to Ichigo so high above them. Then Renji felt Grimmjow tense.

"Don't-"

But the captain was suddenly alone on the battleground.

Grimmjow ran headlong into a storm of power that would likely kill him.

* * *

Ichigo plummeted from the sky straight for the rows of low buildings just beyond the barracks of the twelfth division. But rather than smashing though curved tile and white walls, his body suddenly changed direction, and he came to a stop in strong arms, landing on the ground just beyond the tower of Kurotsuchi's laboratory.

_"__My hero," _Ichigo choked on a mouthful of blood, but that wasn't the worst thing wrong with him.

"What was he doing to you?" Grimmjow asked, even as he felt the King closing in on them from above.

_"__He still thinks he can call out that Quincy bastard inside."_

"What? Let Ichigo out, now. He needs to be the one in this fight."

But the hollow shook his head. _"Ichigo's the only thing holding him back."_

Grimmjow gripped him tighter, then the ground shook and not just Bach but Buzzbee and Hashwald landed with him.

"Well now, Grimmjow, I didn't think you'd still be functional."

The espada refrained from responding. He shifted on the spot, assessing the situation.

"In any case, your timing couldn't be better. I needed something a little more to tip the scales."

"Ichigo won't lose to you," Grimmjow affirmed.

"He'll win with me Grimmjow, when he takes up the mantle of his true heritage."

"None of that shit matters," Grimmjow argued. He let go of Ichigo who wobbled at his back and drew Pantera. "All those weeks you tortured him in that chair and he still didn't turn. You won't turn him now."

"Oh, but I think I will." Bach smiled. "Because there is one last thing I haven't done to you yet, Grimmjow."

"What's that?"

"Kill you."

_"__Grimmjow!"_ Ichigo shoved him sideways and took the brunt of the strike himself. His chest opened up worse than before, but he swung back with twice as much ferocity when Bach came at him. The trouble was, the King was not alone, and his two subordinates turned on Grimmjow.

"You can't protect him Ichigo. Watch him die," Bach taunted.

_"__Bastards."_ But when Ichigo tried to intervene he was struck again by Bach.

They fought back and forth, Ichigo jumping between battles, Grimmjow moving with all the speed and ferocity of his espada training, but never quite enough against two foes so powerful. Ichigo let himself be distracted, get hit, slow down. Too much blood was flowing now, his movements slowed, he took a punch to the jaw and spun on the spot and then Bach caught him from behind, pinned his exhausted body backwards against his own.

And Ichigo saw from the deepest depths of his soul—from hollow to soul reaper to human teen—Hashwald slice Grimmjow open from chest to hip, in a horrible familiar wound, but one so quickly darkening and drenching with blood Ichigo could practically see the colour fade from Grimmjow's skin. He dropped to his knees, and Buzzbee took hold of his hair, forcing his head back, exposing his neck and Hashwald made the swing.

_"__NOOO!" _

Blue fire followed the word, straight out of Ichigo's body, burning at the King's restraining hands but most of all smashing into Hashwald with all the heat of a cero.

But it wasn't a cero.

It wasn't a sword strike.

It wan an arrow.

_"__No..." _Ichigo's protest came much more faint, from much father away, and before he could reach Grimmjow he fell to his knees, hollow features contorting in the worst of pain. _"No stay back!"_

"Ichigo." The King smiled and lay a hand on his shoulder. "You were so predictable. You told me your hollow self came out to protect you—no, to protect Grimmjow. If you would let that beast out to save him, why not one more? You let him out, to save one soul, well, now your soul is mine."

_"__NO!"_ He lurched forward to Grimmjow, where he lay on his side, watching Ichigo writhe.

"Kid.."

_"__Grimmjow..."_ He spasmed. His eyes turned all black and he arched off the ground.

"Ichigo!"

Then he went still. His body turned from the colourless shade back to the palest of flesh.

"ICHIGO!"

The teen sat up sharply, gasping in air faster than his body could absorb it. He scanned the hill with wide, startled eyes.

And then they narrowed, and zeroed in on the King.

"You finally let it out." He held out his hand. "Join me, son."

Ichigo stared up at the offered hand. "You are the one that let me out?"

"Don't you recognize your father?"

In response Ichigo reached up his hand. Bach pulled him up with a smile so dark it could have eclipsed the sun if it were out. But as it was, a heavy cloud had rumbled in above them, and a coldness spread over Grimmjow's chest when both Ichigo and Bach looked down on him with equally soulless eyes.

"What should I do with him?" Bach asked over Ichigo's shoulder.

Ichigo's eyes came to meet Grimmjow's. "Whatever you want."


	26. Chapter 26

"Fourty-fve minutes. It only took forty-five minutes for them to decimate us."

"Shut up, Iba." Ikkau barked from the other side of the cell. "I don't want to hear it."

"But even the captains-"

"SHUT UP!" The bald headed warrior's shout bounced off hollow walls and startled a few of the other prisoners awake. Ikkaku quieted, but turned to his side. "Yumichika, how are you doing?"

As their hands were shackled above their heads he couldn't reach out to shake his companion, but he was slumped far enough on his side that Ikkaku could feel how shallow his breath was.

"He needs treatment," he commented.

"Those bastards don't care. They're probably just going to leave us all to die down here." The dark comment bled out of the shadows and Ikkaku squinted to see Shuhei. From what Ikkaku could see in the low light, one eye socket was completely black.

"Did you see what happened to the captains?" Ikkaku asked back.

"Same thing as us I think, though less comfortable." Nothing about their situation was comfortable.

Ikkaku nodded. "I bet Renji's really regretting that promotion now."

"What about the other one, the espada?" Iba asked.

"I don't know." Ikkaku shut his eyes, head pounding in a pain he knew would only grow the longer he was down here. "He is captain level, maybe he's with them. Unless Ichigo killed him."

"You don't think he'll snap out of it?"

"I think that would be categorized as optimism Iba," Ikkaku sighed, "and I don't think I have an optimistic bone left in me."

"Yeah, I think I know what you mean."

* * *

"Grimmjow, are you awake?"

"Rukia?"

"Yes Grimmjow, it's me."

"Why am I not dead?" He said with no sign that he was in fact happy to be alive. He focused in on her pale face and then squinted to see beyond her and figure out where they were. "And why am I not in a cell?"

"You are." Rukia clarified, backing out of his vision so he could see beyond her. They were in the medical ward, and now he saw the floor to ceiling glass walls that had contained him when he and Ichigo had returned last time. Now though, he could both see and feel the Vandenreich's spiritual reinforcements.

He sat up, despite the burn of pain along his chest. He glanced down at the rough scar, but it was clear he'd had healing. "Did you do this?"

She nodded. She wasn't even recovered from her own wounds, she was certainly in no shape to be using her energy to heal others.

"The Vandenreich captured me, I thought they would kill me." Was her explanation.

"The others?"

"I don't know. Imprisoned for now, but who knows..."

Silence passed between them, Grimmjow tested his legs and found himself able to stand. He took more time to calculate their position. Just one bed, a counter and sink. He sighed.

"Why are we in here?" He repeated his question.

"Because we're important to Ichigo."

He turned to her again. "They said this to you?"

"There's no other explanation."

"Then has he snapped out of it?"

She shook her head. "But no doubt Bach considers it a possibility."

"Shit."

"For the moment, we're in better conditions than most."

"For the moment..." He leaned back against the counter and shut his eyes. "They'll do anything and everything to us to make Ichigo comply."

"I'm so sorry Grimmjow."

He felt her hand cover his where it clenched tight against the linoleum. There was no stopping the ideas and memories that flooded him.

"I can't go through that again." He found himself gasping, only half aware he'd slid to the floor. "And neither can Ichigo." He strained to remain calm, but his hand came up to his hair, his head bent into his knees.

"Hal..." He stopped himself from saying her name. He forced his body to relax enough to lift his head.

And then he saw the King.

"Bach..." Rukia breathed and stood rooted as he swept down the hall. He waved a hand before the door and stepped through his barrier, a terrible smile on his face.

"Back in m company, Grimmjow." Then he nodded to Rukia. "And how nice of another friend of Ichigo's to join us."

Neither prisoner spoke. The King stepped forward. "I see Grimmjow has already guessed my intentions."

"You bastard." Rukia bit out. "How dare you-"

His back hand hit her with terrible force. She fell against the counter and collapsed to the floor.

"You clearly haven't paid attention to what I do to those I dislike." His foot came down hard on her back and she gagged on the pain and pressure. "Well Grimmjow here can fill you in while I get things arranged."

"What's the fucking point?" Grimmjow launched up, knowing well how futile it was but long past the point of caring. "You won! Ichigo turned!"

"Ah, you know as well as I do Ichigo can't be counted out—not unless he has a reason to stay buried. You two will give me that reason. When he sees me rip you to pieces, he'll never be able to live with himself. He'll never want to resurface again." He lifted his foot from Rukia but hauled her up by the back of her robes. "We'll start with her, I think. Besides, with a woman I'm sure it would be much easier to convince my men to-"

"Shut up!" Grimmjow grabbed Bach by the front of his uniform. "You fucking stop talking right now you bastard. There's no fucking way Ichigo won't snap out of it. And there's no fucking way I'll let you near her."

"Trying to make up for Halibel huh?" He dropped Rukia and shoved Grimmjow back into the counter. His hand restrained him around the throat, and those soulless eyes scanned his own. "Ah I see, you've given up. You're broken beyond repair and you know it, don't you?"

Grimmjow said nothing back.

"Does Ichigo know? Did he figure it out yet, that he'll never save you?"

"He's too damn naive for that." Grimmjow growled back. "And he's too damn strong not to break free of the quincy part of him, especially if you threaten the people he loves."

"Ah, well there's the truth of it, Grimmjow. If Ichigo comes back, then that's it, it was all pointless, and I'll have to kill him. If he doesn't, then he's mine forever. In either case, I'll be done this game once and for all." And he he leaned in all the closer. "And that also means, in either case Grimmjow, you and the girl are fucked."

He released his prisoner and backed up. "Showtime starts soon. Enjoy the rest of your lives."

Grimmjow watched him go as Rukia used the counter to stand back up. Blood seeped from her lips, her face already swollen, but what Grimmjow zeroed in on were the blossoming tears.

There were no words, but he pulled her against him as he sank to his knees, and they let themselves be gripped by the darkest of thoughts and fears.

* * *

"A test of loyalty?" Ichigo looked up from where he toyed with Zangetsu, digging the tip into the rug of the first division where they'd stationed themselves.

"Like what?

"I won't say," Bach answered back. "Just come watch something with me. If you do not interfere, then I will know you are loyal."

"Fine." He stood to follow but Bach held out a hand. "Leave that here, with Hashwald." His eyes were on Zangetsu.

Ichigo didn't hesitate. "Fine." He passed his sword off to the waiting lieutenant and followed his King from the first division.

They didn't go far, only to the Fourth, which had taken substantial damage, but the part they entered was cleared of debris and they soon reached the glass walled cage.

Grimmjow stood upon seeing them. Rukia was slower to rise, her injuries had taken a heavy toll.

"Ichigo run away," he commanded through the clear wall, ignoring Bach and the others who'd come with him. "It's you're only way out of this. Go now."

"Nice try, but he's not leaving," Bach said. "And you know what happens next, Grimmjow." He nodded to soldiers. Grimmjow at once grabbed hold of Rukia and pulled her back against the farthest wall from the door when he saw them coming.

"I'll protect you," he whispered. She didn't know if he really meant her, or the ghost of the one he'd lost.

"I don't think you can," she whispered back when four men filed in the room. "This can't be happening."

He looked at her, snapped out of his own pain. The men were almost on them.

And he punched her as hard as he could. Her head snapped sharply to the side and collided with the wall. By the time the men reached them, hauling Grimmjow away from her, she was completely unconscious.

"Well played, Grimmjow." Bach hissed through the glass. His head was slammed down on the bed, two men had his arms pinned against his bare back. "But we'll just revive her. In the mean time, looks like you're first." Bach stepped as close as he could get, Grimmjow's eyes forced on him by the grip in his hair.

"Ichigo, just go." Grimmjow said, not even struggling. "Just run and never come back."

"No." The steady voice came strong through the barrier. "I'm finally who I was meant to be."

"No you're not!"

"YES I AM!"

Ichigo's fist slammed against the glass with force enough to make it shudder, blue sparks flamed through the spiritual barrier. "I am finally free! I am my mother's son! And my father's." He raised his other hand to the glass, Bach a dark shadow at his back, smiling like the devil himself. But at Ichigo's next word those coal eyes lit aflame, and smile vanished. "I am the man who's going to save you, and kill Juha Bach."

Shattering glass turned to a million blue diamonds, as it reflected the breaking bands of blue energy that had wrapped the room. For an instant, all Grimmjow could see was blue, and then he was falling from the table, the restraining hands gone.

He heard the Vandenreich King's roar of rage.

And he smiled.

"I didn't mean to take so long," Ichigo said, kneeling at his side. "But Zangetsu and I came to realize something." Now he turned back over his shoulder to face Bach. "I've always been a quincy, its in my blood, it's biology." And he stood, drawing Grimmjow up with him. "But it's not destiny. And it's not something I have to fear. My hollow self did and because he's me, it held me back. And because I lost faith for a while, even the soul reaper in me wasn't strong. But I've never stopped being human. I've never stopped being the son of Isshin and Misaki Kurosaki. And I'll never reject the quincy blood in me, because it's _her _blood. So fuck you and your machine and your experiments. I'll take strength from everything inside me, and I'll destroy you."

"Oh Ichigo, how disappointing," Bach sighed."I appreciate the noble speech, but you truly are thick. Fuck the machine? Do you not think all those long sessions did something to you? Did you not see it in your inner world? You can't embrace that, because it's not your mother's blood or power: what pumped into you—the same thing that killed Halibel and broke Grimmjow's fragile mind—was me. My very essence, my very soul."

He spread his hands and the room shook. Grimmjow at once fell to his knees under the pressure of power, as did the other soldiers in the room. Only Ichigo remained on his feet, even as the ceiling cracked, walls split, glass shuddered and broke.

"What you awakened was only a whisper—a fraction of the quincy blood in your veins, that small part that she left inside of you. I guess I didn't awaken the true monster after all. Well, time to amend the situation. Time to make use of you or kill you. Time to awaken the demon that's been growing in you since the day I captured you, and let it loose on this world. You will bring this entire plane of existence to its knees in my name."

His hand twisted sharply and reached out as if for Ichigo's heart. The teen's back arched where he stood, his head went back and from him came a cry of souls—of the hollow, the reaper and the human all in one.

Because they all felt what was coming.

"Kid.." Grimmjow was barely withstanding the power but he watched in horror as Ichigo's body snapped, his spine, his ribs, his neck and shoulders, popping, distorting in an agonizing deformation, each new dislocation punctuated by another scream. Grimmjow waited for him to turn into a monster, to grow or reform, but then his body settled back into place, he returned to human shape and form, but that howl didn't cease, it just changed, it warped and became something else, something not from his own soul.

"There he is..." Bach whispered, releasing his power over the boy. Ichigo lurched, stumbled, his hands shot to cover his chest and he hunched painfully in on himself.

"ICHIGO!" Grimmjow stood and made a grab form him. His hand closed around his shoulder just as his head shot up, as he saw the smouldering blue light that replaced brown eyes.

"I can't...it's too much."

And then the whole room exploded.

* * *

_"__You can never catch a break, can you?"_

_"Halibel?" Grimmjow stepped toward her, his feet splashing in cold water. Around him was an endless, shallow expanse of water and above there was no sky, just stretching darkness. "Where are we?"_

_"The same place we've shared for a long time."_

_"My head?"_

_She smiled. "But this time I really am just a memory."_

_"What happened? Did we die?"_

_She shrugged. "My guess is you are unconscious."_

_"And the Kid?"_

_"Bach destroyed him, Grimmjow, a long time ago. It just took this long for all of that to take effect."_

_"No, no way, he can't be dead."_

_"Not dead, but gone. You just saw it, Bach's very essence consumed him."_

_"He'll beat it."_

_"Not this time."_

_"Why are you saying this?"_

_"Because that's how you really feel. Ever since Bach ripped me from you, you lost hope. You can't even pretend to remember happiness, not even with Ichigo. Grimmjow, you're just existing."_

_"What else am I supposed to do?"_

_"Learn to live again, somehow."_

_He just sighed. Then the world shook, a shock of cold rain sprayed them and the blackness above began to part._

_"Time to wake up," she smiled sadly at him, fading with the empty world. _

_"Halibel...HALIBEL!"_

__The dreamworld was abruptly replaced with the real one. Grimmjow's hand was outstretched but at nothing by a grassy horizon. He heard the water running in a low babble just behind him, and felt the cold of the autumn breeze on his bare torso.

Then he saw Ichigo.

The teen was on all fours before him, one hand recoiled to his chest. His hair was askew and muddy, his whole body covered in dirt. Grimmjow barely noted his own hand and legs were covered with grass and mud. Ichigo gagged and gasped and made a noise of rage and pain.

"What is this? What's happening to me?" He growled out, not the voice of any form of Ichigo's soul Grimmjow recognized. And those blazing blue eyes that shot up sharply and landed on Grimmjow were definitely not those of the human boy.

"YOU! Why are you here? What's happening! Tell me!"

"He did something to you," Grimmjow said.

"Who?"

"Bach."

"Uhgg!" Ichgo hunched in on himself further, as if a pain stemmed from his chest. "What's this feeling?"

"Probably Zangetsu, your soul Ichigo. Bach is trying to control you."

"SHUT UP!" He lurch and slammed his hands into the ground. "He freed me!"

"He's enslaved you."

"Ghha!" Ichigo lunged, slamming into Grimmjow and keeping him pinned to the dirt by the shoulders. "He's my father."

"You're father is lying in a coma in the fourth division."

"Not my real father."

"If you really think that, if you've really been turned, you're weaker than I thought you were, Ichigo Kuroskai."

"Bastard!" A pale fist came hard into Grimmjow's side. The Esapada lurched at the force but he had no time to recover as the fist hit him again, then in his jaw, his head, his chest. Ichigo kept struking him, until they were weak strikes, until gasps replaced rage and the teen began to collapsed. "My heart..." he wheezed, falling against Grimmjow completely, head on the bruises he's just laid in his flesh. "What is this pain?"

"It's what's left of you, Ichigo, fighting to stay free."

"Bastard.." he moaned, but could not move. Grimmjow ached all over, cut and bleeding, but he closed his arms around the teen like he had so many times before.

"It's okay, Kid, I've got you."

* * *

"Ugh, dammit." Grimmjow sat upon waking, only to find his body unwilling to move very far. His ribs groaned and he looked down to red and purple marks over one side where Ichigo had let loose on him.

Ichigo.

He looked around in start, momentarily forgetting where he was and what had happened. Then he saw the flames and those blue eyes that pierced the veil of darkness on the other side of them.

"Kid?"

Ichigo looked over at him but didn't respond. He just sat in silence by the fire he'd created and watched Grimmjow struggle to his feet. Everything hurt, Ichigo's blows in the heat of emotion had been harsh and he was quite sure his ribs were broken.

"I wasn't sure you would wake up," Ichigo commented when Grimmjow finally got to the heat of the flames. Despite the swelling in parts of his body he was chilled by the cold of the night. It was Grimmjow's turn to say nothing. He didn't sit, afraid he wouldn't be able to stand again if he did.

"So, how about some answers," Ichgio grunted.

"About what?"

"What I asked before, what happened?"

"Do you really not know?"

"It's unclear in my mind," Ichigo answered, standing now. "So I would like you to clear it up."

"You tried to save Rukia and I. Bach did something to you to awaken the quincy power he forced in you back at the ice palace," Grimmjow said it as evenly as possible, not sure what would set this deformed version of Ichigo off.

"Then where is he? Why are we here?"

"I don't know. I think you fought so hard against it, something went wrong, you released your power and we were blown here or something."

Ichigo considered this. "Okay."

"Okay what? Is that what happened?"

"It makes sense."

"So what are you going to do now?"

Ichigo's eyes shimmered for a moment before he turned them back to the fire. "Return to the Seireitei I guess."

"You guess? You could have done that without waiting for me to wake up. You don't really want to go back do you?"

"Shut up!" He'd overstepped, and now a hand was around his throat. He tried to dislodge those fingers but they were steel around his flesh. "I should kill you."

"Then fucking do it," he squeezed out a breath. Ichigo's eyes went wide and he slammed Grimmjow down onto hard packed earth, his fist locking in his hair and keeping his face flat against dirt while his knee drove into his back to pin him.

"Fine. I'll destroy you from the inside out, bastard." Ichigo's other hand slid down his back and dropped into his hollow space. "Goodbye Grimmjow Jaggerjaques."

Grimmjow inhaled a mouthful of dirt before he screamed. He thought Bach had done every thing he possibly could to him, but this was something he'd never experienced before. Whatever raw power had been awakened in Ichigo now poured out of him in rage, without control, and straight into the middle of Grimmjow's being.

He knew he was going to die by Ichigo's hand, and he knew the kid would never resurface, and this world would fall.

And part of him was okay with it, because at least then it would be over.

But he was wrong.

"NO!" Ichigo reeled back, falling beside him, face contorting under the shadow of flames. His fingers dug into his cheeks but they were porcelain white, and his nails scraped over a mask.

_"__NO!" _The hollow arched his back in agony, clawing its way to the top. Grimmjow watched, unable to move, his body still spasming from the pain, tears had run uncontrolled from his eyes into the dirt and the world was blurred. _"We won't let you!"_ The scream was strangled, yellow eyes turned to Grimmjow then they shut and he lurched again, rolling onto his stomach, hands knotting in his hair.

Then he stilled.

"Grimmjow..."

And the face that came up from shaking hands and streaked with tears was for once familiar. And Grimmjow tried for all he was worth to reach out to him, but he was beyond that now, barely conscious.

"Ichigo."

"I'm so sorry." The teen crawled over to him, it was clear he was barely holding on. "I'm losing. You need to run."

Grimmjow finally managed to at least push himself out of the dirt but he would never get to his feet in this state.

"It doesn't matter anymore Ichigo," he breathed and the teen caught his shoulder before he collapsed again. He fell against his chest, felt that furious heart beating against muscle and bone. "I'll be with you until the end. I don't care what happens to me anymore."

"Grimmjow." He felt tears splash down on him. "I'm a monster. He made me a monster. I have to kill myself."

"If you do that, the quincy will win, he'll take your body. I'm sorry kid, but I don't think suicide's an option for you."

"And it is for you?" Ichigo rolled him back a little, to look into his eyes, and he saw what Renji had seen, what Bach had seen. "I want to save you."

"I know. But I don't think you can this time."

"Please don't give up."

"I won't give up on you."

"But not on yourself either."

Grimmjow didn't answer, more tear rose in those human eyes and he leaned in to press his forehead against Grimmjow's.

"This can't be happening."

Grimmjow brought a hand up to his cheek. Ichigo moved lower, tentative, but Grimmjow didn't move away, so he locked their lips together, and held onto to the man who'd grounded him so many times, until he slipped under the surface, and fierce eyes returned and he withdrew from the kiss a different being altogether. Grimmjow lay helpless in his arms, waiting to be devoured by pain. Ichigo's hand dropped to his stomach, to his hollow space.

"It seems you didn't just win over the human in me, but the hollow, what a problem. But even combined, they weren't enough to stop me." He let out a crack of power that made Grimmjow stiffen and cry out. Ichigo didn't smile though, he just seemed to wait, as if testing the reaction in the depths of his soul.

"It seems if I try to kill you, they'll fight me tooth and nail, so I guess I'll have to find a different way to take you from them."

His hand suddenly went lower and he bent in again, his breath against Grimmjow's lips. "The hollow in me already wants it too much to fight me... and the human...he'll never forgive himself."

"But I will."

"You want it too?"

"I don't want anything anymore," Grimmjow breathed back. "Except to see Ichigo win. I won't leave him until that happens, no matter what."

Blue eyes narrowed but then he rolled Grimmjow onto his back and leaned down over top of him, smiling into the forceful kiss. "Let's put that to the test."


	27. Chapter 27

"Grimmjow! I thought you'd run away." Ichigo grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him close to him.

"I was just taking a piss. I said I wouldn't leave Ichigo," Grimmjow said back, not fighting the restraining hold.

"You really are broken aren't you? I expected you to break down, flash back or something. What did Bach do to you?"

"He took everything I care about."

"And your ability to care about anything, it seems."

"Maybe."

"Except my human." But Ichigo saw the look at once. "Oh, no, even him, even your love and desires have been crushed. So what is it that drives you, if you don't see a future with him? Just a habit you can't break?"

"I don't know." He tried to yank his hand away but Ichigo spun him around and held him in a bear hug from behind.

"Oh, maybe there is a hint of something left," he whispered in his ear. "But just a hint."

"Maybe," Grimmjow whispered back. "But what does it matter?"

"It doesn't." Ichigo let him go. "Because Ichigo's never coming back, and you are mine now. My truly hollow hollow."

"Whatever." Grimmjow sank to the ground, body too battered to hold him up. "What do you plan to do now?"

"I haven't decided."

Grimmjow looked up at him. "Does this mean you realize if you go back, you'll be under Bach's thumb?"

"Of course I realize that, but he is the father."

"I don't get it. You're so ready to subjugate yourself to another man."

At this, Ichigo smiled broad. "That is hilarious coming from you Grimmjow. What exactly do you call last night?"

The espada shot out a curse but had nothing more to say. Ichigo sighed long and then bent over him, hauling him up by one arm.

"I need time to think things over, and it won't be long before Bach comes for me."

"So what?"

"So take us somewhere better to hide. Take us to Hueco Mundo."

Grimmjow watched him for a moment, but then nodded. "Fine."

"Good." Ichigo pulled Grimmjow's arm over his shoulders to give him better support and the espada reached out with his free hand. And he took them home.

* * *

Grimmjow let his jeans fall to the floor. They were filthy and Ichigo had broken the button on them two nights ago anyway. He stood in his old room and pulled out his old clothes. He didn't feel they suited him now, who he was, what he'd become. He hung them back and chose a more basic outfit tucked in a drawer: a black t-shirt and pants for training he'd never worn. Back then he'd had a fierce pride, for his body, his rank, and never chose to appear anything less than one of Aizen's feared elite. He sighed long, and then looked up when he heard footsteps.

"There you are."

Grimmjow said nothing when Ichigo crossed the room. He really had nothing much to say, in the long days under the moon. Three days had passed since their flight from Soul Society. Their grace period would surely end soon when Bach decided to scour this world for them. Ichigo must have known, he'd been growing more tense, but now he forgot that as he pushed Grimmjow backwards until his legs hit the end of his old bed and they fell back together.

"We'll go back tomorrow," Ichigo said between kisses. He pulled back to pull Grimmjow's shirt from his shoulders—changing had been pointless. "I'll tell him I was stunned from the impact, I wasn't sure what was going on."

"You're going back to him?" Grimmjow was surprised, thinking that in coming to Hueco Mundo Ichigo had realized his best choice was to avoid the Vandenreich King.

"We are, yes." Ichigo undid Grimmjow's pants but his wrist was caught.

"You've given into him then."

"No." Ichigo wrenched his hand free and shoved Grimmjow back into the mattress. "But I need Zangetsu back and the best way to get him is to play nice."

"Will you kill him?"

"Yes."

"And then?"

"And then I'll be in charge."

"Wait, Ichigo-"

"Shut up." Ichigo slammed his hand over Grimmjow's neck. His air was almost cut off completely. Ichigo didn't let up as he attacked Grimmjow's body with violent desire. Grimmjow struggled for the first time since this whole arrangement had begun. Panic welled up in him after so long of feeling nothing. He clawed at the hand when he could no longer draw breath but when Ichigo finally let up he still couldn't get air. Ichigo pulled away with a satisfied grunt and let Grimmjow try to sit up but he only toppled to the floor, where his panic attack built to a point that alarmed even the quincy.

"Grimmjow?"

No words could get out and no air could go in. Ichigo watched him drowning in a room full of oxygen. "Grimmjow!" He put his hand on over his hollow hole and Grimmjow's whole body went rigid when he let out a harsh burst of power. When he let go Grimmjow went limp, but the shock had stopped the build in his chest and he was breathing again.

"What the fuck was that?" Ichigo rolled him onto his back and held the side of his face. "I thought these didn't happen anymore."

"I...I'm fine." Grimmjow tried to push Ichigo's hand away.

"Don't lie." Ichigo smiled. "You're snapping again, and you know if you do that, the human will snap too."

"Do you really want me to snap?" Grimmjow challenged through shortened breaths. "Will you enjoy it more that way? You are just the product of Bach's twisted soul after all. You're just a shadow of his dark desires, his fucked up mind, his-"

"Shut up!" Ichigo's hand gripped Grimmjow's face and yanked him up, his other hand came up flush with his hollow hole at his back, no mistaking the threat. He shook with rage, but Grimmjow met those eyes, knowing he'd once looked on Ichigo with the same fury.

"Unless you kill Bacg, he'll still be in your blood, still be in control."

"Argh!" Ichigo's hands clenched over his skin at his back, but he didn't ignite the pain in his hollow space, instead his fingers clawed into the six tattoo just below his hollow hole. "You mean like you Grimmjow with Aizen? He's gone but you still wear his mark. Well you're mine now." He let him drop back to the tile and Grimmjow watched blue light form in his hand. Ichigo hadn't shown any real control over his power until now—until the small blue arrow blossomed in his palm.

"Don't." Grimmjow only got out one word before he was rolled onto his stomach and the arrow tip drove into his flesh. "ICHIGO!" The name turned into a scream as the point of blue energy dragged over his skin, back and forth, deeper and deeper, and crimson flowed hot and fast over flesh and stone.

* * *

"I can't do it." Tears broke through the depths of depression, of apathy and rolled down cheeks as pale as the sheets he clung to. "Halibel I can't do it anymore. Please take me."

He bowed his head into her bed, gathering her sheets to his face, wishing they held some lingering scent of her spirit, her body. They became soaked for tears, her room echoed with his breaking voice, and white turned red as his blood stained hands gripped tighter to cotton.

"I don't want to feel anymore, Halibel. I don't want to face anymore. I died with you. I have no strength, I have no pride. I have nothing. Please...Halibel please...answer me."

"She can't and you know it." He went rigid at the voice but didn't move from where he'd collapsed. He clung to her sheets with the last of his fading strength. Ichigo moved behind him.

"I didn't think you'd be able to walk after that. I shouldn't have left you alone."

His hand fell over the awful, deep and jagged wound he'd carved into Grimmjow's back. The espada lurched, continuing to sob into the bed.

"I lost control," Ichigo admitted. "Because you don't have it! Because Bach took it from you!"

"I know." The word came out startlingly soft. "I guess you were right, he does control me."

He dragged Grimmjow back against him.

"Don't touch me!" But Ichigo ignored him and wrapped his hands around him, pulling him up and forcing him face down on the sheets. Girmmjow's hands turned to fists in the sheets, his whole body went rigid as he waited for what was to come.

There was the sound of ripping fabric, Ichigo looped a hand around Grimmjow's waist and lifted him enough to wrap a long strip of cotton around his abdomen. Grimmjow stilled while Ichigo worked, wadding up more fabric to staunch the flow of blood then tying it all into place and adding more wraps for support.

"Why?" Grimmjow breathed out finally. "Isn't this what you wanted? Didn't you want to break me, and crush Ichigo?"

"I did, but I guess that's Bach, his desires." Fingers ran lightly over Grimmjow's scalp, then brushed slow and soft through his hair. "There is a part of him inside of me that wants to break you for every time you've defied him. And still that part of me wants to keep going." His fingers knotted in blue locks, his other hands came up and gripped is hip. "It wants me to drive you into insanity and feel Ichigo break to pieces. It wants to see you scream and cry until you can't draw breath anymore."

But his fingers relaxed again, and he took a calming breath. "But that really would break the human, possibly even the hollow. And if I did that, I would never escape Bach, never be free. I need Bach's power—but I need the human and the hollow to hold his control in check. And they can only survive as long as you do. So I can't let you die. And I can't let you break completely. I have to hold you in the balance to hold myself in the balance in this body. If I can do that, I can beat Bach, I can still have the power I want and control his armies."

"And what about the soul reapers?"

"They're like you, Grimmjow. If I break the human by killing them, I think Bach's spirit would take over this body, or at least enough that I won't be me anymore. So they will live."

"As prisoners."

"Yes."

"The whole world will stagnate, so that you can hold on—so you can cling to this precarious existence."

"It's all I have."

"You could let go."

"Like you?"

Grimmjow nodded into Halibel's pillow. "Yes."

"Would you have us lay here together, until we died."

"I would, if it didn't mean the kid lost everything. But he wants to save them, he has friends and family who need him. I don't want him to suffer losing them."

"Then you know you must live, for him and for me, for every version of his soul."

Grimmjow shut his eyes in the truth of it. Ichigo leaned over and placed a soft kiss along his temple. "I know you want to let go, but I also know you'll hang on for him. You will be my anchor like you were his. You will help me stay in the balance so I can kill the man who broke us both." He slid onto the bed and lay along side Grimmjow, pulling him close and whispered low. "It's okay Grimmjow, I know how much you you're hurting. Let it go."

He held him tight, and Grimmjow did, he let go, he let himself pretend it was the human inside who held him, who stroked his hair. He clung to that chest and that steady heartbeat and he let out the tears, the sounds of pain, the memories, the fears and the utter despair of his soul, until each breath was laboured and the darkness he craved took him.

* * *

"You've returned."

Ichigo met the King in the courtyard of the first division. He could see that much of the fourth and the surrounding area had been destroyed in the process of his sudden exit last time.

"I finally remembered what happened. I was in Hueco Mundo."

"Hueco Mundo?"

"He took me there when I was unconscious. I guess he got carried with me in the explosion."

He pointed to the man in black slumped on the steps of the first division where Ichigo had dropped him. He was still pale from the blood loss and unable to stand for the wound in his back.

"Why is he still alive then?"

"Because I desire him. And why shouldn't I have what I want, father?"

Bach held his gaze, distrustful. "The human still exerts control over you then."

"No. The human screamed and shattered when I made Grimmjow relive what your other soldiers did to him. When he sobbed like a child and the human witnessed it all."

Bach turned to Grimmjow, his eyes still swollen, body covered in bruises. He bent and took the espada's face in his hands, seeing the truth of Ichigo's words. He smiled that cruel smile.

"My my, Grimmjow, who ever knew how much you would serve me, and how cruel the universe could be to you. At every turn, you only discover a new level of suffering. I'm surprised you haven't taken your own life already."

"He won't," Ichigo answered at the King's Bach. "We've already had that discussion. He can't bring himself to do that to the human."

"So he will remain your pet for him? How Aizen's mighty espada has been reduced to such a pathetic state." He let go of Grimmjow and stood.

"I am glad of your return, Ichigo. And I will let you do what you want with Grimmjow. But I am concerned about this prolonged lapse you had, you will have to be examined."

Ichigo stiffened, no hiding his memories of pain and suffering at the hands of Bach and his doctors.

"Trust me son, it won't be like before. All of that was necessary to free you."

"Of course." He tried to relax as Bach took his shoulder. "But what do you need me for, father, if I may ask? You already have Soul Society."

"Yes, but not all worlds."

"But the world of the living will fall at once, as will the districts here."

"But not the Soul King."

"Right." Ichigo nodded. "And the zero squad. Where are they?"

"For now, we have blocked their ability to descend. But when you are ready, we will let them come. And we will crush them, together."

"Yes, we will." Ichigo smiled. "Get me ready."

* * *

"There you go." Ichigo eased Grimmjow down onto Rukia and Renji's bed. They were back in the Manor, the property allotted to Ichigo by Bach. He met Grimmjow's eyes warningly, he'd already told him in Hueco Mundo they would not be able to discuss any plans even when in private for fear that Bach would have listening devices. Since he had had the manor prepared for their arrival, there was no doubt he had planted ways to watch them.

"My back is killing me," Grimmjow whispered in protest when Ichigo drew his shirt over his head.

"Then roll over."

Grimmjow hugged a pillow tight, his body tense as Ichigo pulled his pants off. The other scolded him, but it was no good, he was as rigid as a board.

"You're still bleeding," Ichigo commented, pulling a bandage back. "You might not survive." He said it coldly, clearly frustrated to be denied, but also possibly keeping up his icy tones for the sake of anyone watching or listening. Grimmjow was far too exhausted and emotional to try to figure out which so he just continued to lay there, eyes shut.

"You're getting off lucky tonight." Ichigo tightened the bandage and pulled the blankets over them. He wrapped a possessive hand around his companion but nothing more.

Grimmjow finally let out a breath, but didn't stop shaking. Ichigo drew him closer. Eventually they fell asleep.

* * *

"Grimmjow." The door to the exam room opened and Grimmjow's head shot up when he saw the familiar face. He didn't get a word out before his breath choked off with unexpected, uncontrolled tears and Unohana wrapped her arms around him where he sat mostly naked on the table. It was a familiar position, from a time long ago, when Ichigo had been the one to hold onto him while Unohana did her best to heal him. Now she was the only face he'd seen that wasn't that of a monster and he held onto her like a lifeline in the darkest, roughest sea.

"Let me see your wounds," she said finally when he calmed a bit. "I was told to look at your back." He lay down for her, exhausted and drained. "They let you go?"

She showed him her wrist. It looked to be badly burned in one spot but he made out an insignia. "They have sealed the majority of my powers so I can heal their soldiers and a select few of my own people."

"Rukia?" He remembered the explosion.

"Barely survived. Again, they have kept her alive in case they can use her against Ichigo."

He shut his eyes and let her work. She took away the worst of his pain, but as her powers were now limited, there was still much healing to be done.

"I wish I could give you some hope." She said when she sat him up and the door opened, someone waited to escort her back to her cell. He just nodded and watched her go. No one came to take him. He was no threat to anyone, he was bound to the boy now controlled by quincy powers. So he dressed and left.

He walked through what was left of the fourth and stopped short when he saw the empty beds where Urahara and Isshin had been.

"Did they die in the explosion?" he asked a passing soul reaper who had the same glowing tattoo on his wrist as Unohana.

"No." The young man stopped, voice heavy with his sadness. "The force of the power woke them both up but now they are imprisoned with the others." "Oh."

He left the forth and wandered the forsaken city, until he was too tired to keep going and he found himself back at the manor, staring at the koi pond.

There were fish in it.

He stared at them, circling one another. Were they the same ones from before? Had they just been hidden under over handing grass last time? Or did he simply see them because he wished them to be there, he wished he could be back in time when he and Ichigo could sit here in silence, together.

He thought about all they had gone through, all that had broken him down into the mess he was now.

And he raised his head. And saw those swirling fish in their infinite unity and fellowship, and he uncovered that one last shred of himself, of resilience, resistance and rebellion.

"I'm going to save you," he said when he felt Ichigo behind him.

"What's this?" Slender fingers caught his chin and turned him around. Ichigo stopped short, seeing the look in his face, his eyes. "Grimmjow?"

"I don't know how, but I will save you Ichigo. I won't stop trying until I'm dead."

"What did that healer do to you?"

"Nothing. I just decided."

Ichigo's eyes narrowed, he took hold of Grimmjow's wrists and held him close to him. "Don't start acting up, or things will change. I won't be quite so lenient on you."

"I won't leave you Ichigo," he said as if the other had never spoken. He looked in blue eyes as if he saw brown. "I may get lost from time to time, but I'll always come back, I'll always rescue you."

"You better stop talking." Ichigo yanked him inside and stormed through the manor but Grimmjow grabbed the doorframe to another room and hauled him to a stop.

"Here," he said. "In here tonight."

"What?" Ichigo was still trying to figure out what change had over taken him, but he looked in on the pair of mattresses on the floor, memory slowing his pull on Grimmjow for a moment. "You aren't fighting me? You'll do it willingly?"

"There's no point. You are Ichigo, afterall. And all I want is to be with him."

Ichigo continued to watch him a long time, then a grin took over his features and he shoved Grimmjow into the wall hands taking a firm grip of his waist while he leaned in for a heavy kiss.

"As you wish." He drew back to meet the newfound resilience in azure eyes. "But try to fuck with me, and I'll fuck you right back-and trust me, you won't like it."

Then he pulled him from the wall and into the room and Grimmjow shut his eyes and imagined the boy he'd vowed to save.


End file.
